(no subject)
For the few that are aware of it i have been semi seeing someone called Tammy for oh maybe 3 months. reguardless of what it seemed we were never offical, she didn't want to go to fast,(she had a bad past and was not ready to commit) so we stayed in a kind of limo for the whole time. but reguardless i cared for her greatly and wanted nothing more then anythin to call her mine. I went out of my way to drive to milo each weekend to see her, i was alwasy there for her break downs and held her and told her things would be ok. i bought her more booze and stuff that i can remember, and i didn't care, i honesly wanted to do them for her cause it made me happy. I was really falling for her and i thought she was fallin for me to...
a short while ago her depression meds went hay wire and she went into a slump not talking to anyone, even me. it killed but i just gave her support and went with it. a week or so again she seems alot better but still had not been talkin to me to often. But she had been talkin to this new guy alot which seemed to come out of no where... She told me they were friends but they were talking way to much (webcam talks online) etc for it to be ust friends... but i believed her even still and gave her, her space.
this mornin i came in to see on her myspace she is in a relationship with him now. I wont lie, i cried my eye out, sitting on the floor with my hand in my face for bettr part of 10 mins in the work bathroom. I have not been this bad since Tresha, my heart is destoryed.. just fucking uddle destoryed... again. I really realy liked her, everything seemed to be going great then i was just thrown away... again. I dont explain how horrible that feeling is, you know know when u experience it. I dont know what the fuck i did wrong....
I can't keep doing this..... I am literly shaking as i am typing this out of anger and stress. I must just have a fuckin sign on my back over my heart that stays "stab here".
just fucking kill me..
a short while ago her depression meds went hay wire and she went into a slump not talking to anyone, even me. it killed but i just gave her support and went with it. a week or so again she seems alot better but still had not been talkin to me to often. But she had been talkin to this new guy alot which seemed to come out of no where... She told me they were friends but they were talking way to much (webcam talks online) etc for it to be ust friends... but i believed her even still and gave her, her space.
this mornin i came in to see on her myspace she is in a relationship with him now. I wont lie, i cried my eye out, sitting on the floor with my hand in my face for bettr part of 10 mins in the work bathroom. I have not been this bad since Tresha, my heart is destoryed.. just fucking uddle destoryed... again. I really realy liked her, everything seemed to be going great then i was just thrown away... again. I dont explain how horrible that feeling is, you know know when u experience it. I dont know what the fuck i did wrong....
I can't keep doing this..... I am literly shaking as i am typing this out of anger and stress. I must just have a fuckin sign on my back over my heart that stays "stab here".
just fucking kill me..