Memoirs of a Templar...
Its been a interesting last year. Hell, just the last 4 months alone have been enough for me. I told a few people I would do a actually real post of whats going on with me, not those stupid will blurbs I post from time to time.
Bare with me on this, I have alot of crap I need to remember and most of this will be me bitching about it. What else is new right? Fucking right.
This year didn't really start out all that well for me, I dont know what i really expected but loosing my dad was not one of them. I am pretty sure all of you know by now, aside from the random person that didn't hear, my father passed away this last march from lung problems he had been dealing with for many years that had just caught up with him. It was almost a week after my bday, it was actually i think 1 or 2 days short of his birthday if i remember right. It all happened so fast. Last thing i knew he and mom came out to the Oriental Jade with me one day to him catching yamonya the next. He never compeletly recovered from that, he just got worse and worse till he was just a shell of the man he was. He could not move, eat, or talk. I actually ended up staying and taking care of him on my birthday weekend, that was a experience I would forever remember. It was very hard to watch and deal with for me. A person can't help but think of their own mortality when they see a loved one going through it. It was a very real event for me that shook me to the core. Not a very fun birthday, but at least I got to spend some one on one time with him before the end at the least. A few days later he was sent to the hospital where this time he was not ever going to come back home.
Seeing my dad on his death bed was prolly one of the hardest things I had ever gone through. Alot of feelings came up in me that I didn't even know where there or that were that strong then. Our family and all his sisters and brothers where in the hospital around him at the time they were going to stop the machines that were keeping him alive. I unfortunately was the only one out of everyone that could not be there for it. I could not watch my dad die even though I knew it was going to happen. I remember walking out of the room, looking back knowing that this was the last time i was ever going to see him alive again. As I think back on that part of me wishes I stayed. I go back and forth on that decision. Not much I can do about it now.
Holy crap alot of stuff had to be done to get this all done with. I knew it was going to be alot but by the time was in the middle of it I felt I was getting in over my head and I was only the best man! I made it out alive thank God. The bachelor party was awesome to say the least, Mark, Andy, Doug and I went down to portland to the Platium Plus strip joint and had high expectations. We were not disappointed. Tim Large and Justin Dagle were going to come along to in a separate car but somehow got lost on the way down and never made it. I dont remember alot of that since I had a high blood alcohol level and boobies in my face at the time. Nothing else really matters at that point in time. O.o...
Most of those girls there were just amazing. A few of them climbed that pole like a monkey going up a tree then turned upside down and just hanged there and jiggled. It rocked and was pure entertainment. I didn't get as drunk as I wanted to over the course of the whole night cause well I wanted to save my money for the dances, and I came down from the buzz from drinking in the car ride about a hour after we got there. That sucked. However there was one thing that was evil in that place but brilliant at the same time I noticed. They put a fucking atm with a 5 dollar charge fee right next to the private dance area. When I came in I was like "Haha what stupid place for a atm, I am never going to use that" and by the end of the night I was using it and swearing to myself. Alot. ... Evil.
After that there was the wedding, all the way up to Fort Kent. Talk about a blast from the past. Dont get me wrong, Fort Kent was a great time in my life and I meet alot of my friends I know today there but at the same time it was in my past and I left it there. So it was kinda surreal to go back for any reason really. I was nervous about the whole thing, I didn't want to screw up plus I had NO idea what I was going to say at my speech, plus I just hate large groups of people in general. If it ws not for the booze I dont know what I would of done!. *ahem* Yes, anyway.
Overall it all went pretty well though, aside from having to wear the monkey suit (which somehow I tore the pants the first 30 seconds of wearing it and had to get it replaced) that was hot as hell and itchy, and that i kinda slipped up on a cue from the priest at the ceremony. But I got to hang out with everyone and get really drunk a few times and saw alot of ppl I haven't seen for a long long time. It was a bit of a lonely experience up there at times though, seeing almost everyone with someone. Couples seem to be in bloom this time of year, early harvest maybe? Pff whatever. But when a person is single it is hard not to see that crap all over the place. It gets old pretty fast..
First off to explain if you are curious the word "Ippid" if you were wondering what that was, it is the name used at my job for each item I place on the computer. For example if I place a telephone pole (or cable or terminal etc etc) on the map that is 1 Ippid. It stands for something but I can't remember what it is. All I know is when I work to much they haunt me in my dreams, chasing me with little knives. Scary stuff I tell you.
Ugh, lets see I am currently working at the James Sewall Co. in Old Town (again for the random person that might not know). They are a mapping and survey company that does all kinda of mapping crap. Whatever. What I do is I get this paper plats of "wirecenters" which is pretty much a random town in the USA of phone and cable wires that need to be placed on the computer using good old pain in the ass Micro "POS" Station. Basicly the company we work for that has the paper plats wants a digal copy of them for there records and something that is easier to read and handle then stacks of paper. It is a boring job but compared to the fast food business it is great!
As of now I am still not full time status there. In theory they higher temps "aka me" after a year to full time status. I am going past 2 years now still waiting. There excuse was "We had a bad time with not getting enough work and not sure if we can afford new ppl on full time now till the work flow gets more stable, blah blah blah we like to have our heads in each others asses and then take a DEEP BREATH" Or some stupid BS like that. Direct quote I swear it. O.o.
At the moment we have work coming out our ears, and then I go ask about full time, and get the same song and dance. It is pissing me off to high hell. I like this job but I feel the are putting this off for no good reason. I need dental insurance badly not to mention medical to take care of a few other things. Plus the PTO would rock too. I would not have to worry about long spans of being "sent home" cause of shortage of work in the future cause they only really do that to the temps. Both me and Seth have done our time there, we deserve full time. Blah!
To top that off the other week I was at work and during lunch I wanted to jump on the internet to check my gmail. I found out it was not working, I asked around and found out that IT cut off my interent. I was just like "WTF!!!" After a few days of what felt my boss avoiding me I got him to tell me that IT cut it off because of certain activity happening on my station after 4 pm. Mmm I get out of work each day at 3:30, I am NEVER there after then. Ever. Ppl both on the day and night shift can testify to that. So how am I doing this "bad activity" when I am not there?!??! Plus they told me that some back door program was hacking the network or something through my computer. Umm I have no idea how do to that plus even if I did why the fuck would I do that on my station in the middle of the fucking day?? I told them all this, without the swears of course (they stayed in my head) and IT told me they would get back to me on it. Soooo since our IT dep are fucking Rtards that means never or if they are really really bored they might look into it. Oh I am not done with this at all. Believe me that...the anger sharks are swimming in my head mother fucker.
I have been checking out those online sites lately like Match.com and Eharmony to see what/who I can find out ther. I do this because, well I am lonley and in my day to day routine I dont get to meet alot of new ppl. I know everyone says "Well change it, go to bars or just out!" Yeah, easy to say isn't it? You put yourself in my spot and you do it, I know you say u would but I bet most of you would not. It is alot harder to put it to pratice then to say it trust me. If I was to go out to the "clubs or bars" it would usually end up with me doing it alone because even though ppl say they would come with me when at times I ask if they want to they have some excuse and they dont. Being alone in places that like is never fun, specialy for me. It does not work, not for me. So the internet was the next option I thought I would try.
Had moderate luck on a few places, nothing got past chat for the most part, I then tryed Yahoo personnals and that seemed to be my lucky pot, or so it would seem. I ended talking and even meeting at least 4 of so ladies on there but it always seemed to be the whole "we work great online but in person it is different" so they fell through. But there was one that didn't, we got along really well, and ended up actually spending alot of time together. Things really were going good and I thought my stretch of bad luck was going to come to end. Then there came the trip to their camp. (Cue lighting strike in the back window and the "Dun dun Dunnnnnnn" music.)
She invited me out to the lake over out by Milo (ironicly) to spend the weekend out there with her friends and to clean the camp up for the winter. (remove the dock, pick up the yard etc) I was like cool and we all went out. Ok first off her first I only meet her friends like 1 other time and they seemed like cool peeps but I did just meet them so we were still on the getting to know each other phase. These people are interesting to say the least, best way I could put them is rich redneck hicks from Mars. They had the whole country music, big trucks needed for small in town driving, saying "Yeee HAA!", big belt buckles, cowboy boots, etc etc sterotypes going. It was actually really creepy to see it in real life. It was like one of those movies that make fun of these people but it was really happening and I was in the middle of it. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! DANGER!
But I was going to be open minded and I really really liked this girl so I went with it. It was odd, like a switch went off, she actually turned over being more like them then what I knew when she was around them. That should of been the first tip off for me, but I was stupid and hopeful so I keep going along with it.
That night we all drank like fish, I put down almost a whole bottle of Disaronno myself and they girls were hitting the rum pretty hard, the other guys there put down a few six backs of random cheap beer. (Am I shocked?, ...no) Through out the night and that day we all talked and hanged out randomly. Just me getting to know them and vice versa, it seemed like the normal routine that should be going. Late that night they all wanted to go skinny dipping in the lake, I was "Errrr no.. I am good", plus I was drunk as hell so I went in and layed down on the bed. Oh about 20ish mins later Mandi walks in (the girl I meet if you could not figure that out) drunk off her ass too and soaked from swimming came in and started talkign to me and pretty much telling me everything that was going on that I didn't know was going on. She told me her friends didn't think I was making enough of a attemp to get to know them. That I was not spending enough time with them and opening up to them enough and that this was going to be a serious problem for her. Why you ask? Oh let me tell you...
How she put it was that her friends are her life and if the guy in her life can't fit in with them (apparently within the span of a day and half of meeting them) then there was no hope for him.. I JUST FUCKING MEET THEM!!! AND TO TOP IT OFF THEY ARE THE COMPLETLY FUCKING OPPSITE FROM WHAT I USUALY HANG OUT WITH!!
Yet I still tried and was making head way, and I did spend alot of time talking with them considering all the differences we had. But I guess to her and them I was not doing it fast enough, I guess they needed me to be there best fucking friend in that first 2 days I knew them.. wtf. So I came back and said well nothing is stopping them from being more active and getting to know me, shouldn't it be both ways??? Her respond was, and I kid you not "Well they see the world revolving around them for the most part so they dont expect they have to do that" ..... .... .. ... okkkkkk..... WHATEVER! CRAZY ALERT CRAZY ALERT!
That next morning around the breakfast table I hear them talking about something but I didn't really think much of it cause well I didn't care. But then I heard the word "Orgy". That got my attention. I figured they were making some joke or something. No, it turns out everyone but me and Mandi had a orgy over by the camp fire that last night. Actually it was around the time I was talking with her that night I was told. I saw proof of the many condoms, blankets layed out, clothes, empty and half empty booze bottles and yes, stains. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Ok, so by the time the "work" is done with the pulling out the dock and picking up the yard on a really bad hang over, I asked if we can head out cause I had a head ache and really felt the need for a shower......
The ride home was quiet, more so then it should been but I shook it off that she was hung over too. Things left off on a good note considering. Then after that day she simply stop talking to me. I sent emails, txt's, called her. She just avoided me like the plauge. I had no idea what was going on only that it was really pissing me off. Finally I cornered her in chat and asked whats up, well turned out she decieded I was not what she wanted cause of how her friends felt I didn't fit in enough so she didnt' want anything to do with me any more. THANKS FOR FUCKING TELLING ME THAT. grr.. why are woman crazy? I just want one that is not crazy, do they exsist out there? Or is it me that makes them crazy? Or maybe I am the crazy one and screw it up somehow. I dont know. All I know it didn't help my confidence one bit, I feel lower then ever now.
Where is the booze?
We have all finally got to the point where we are parting ways and getting all our own places. We wanted to do it a year ago but complications with the last landlord telling us we had to get out within a span of a week basicly forced us to spend another year together to find a place in time. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind but at the time it was happening I was pissed cause I was ready to get my own place. But over all I think it was for the best, we all had money problems in someway during this last year and living with each other helped alot. Plus we had a few really wild parties there. Good memories.
At first I planed and living on my own but afer looking at prices of places I knew there was no way I could afford it so at the time Seth was looking for a roommate too so it only made sense have him as a roommate. Luckly our work schedules are completely opposite so we dont really see each other, other then on weekends. Otherwise with his temper and my just plain violent attatude towards life we would prolly end up killing each other in a few weeks. Hide the sliverwear and blunt objects!
We at first wanted to live near work in Old Town but that didnt really turn out to well. By the time we started looking for places most the good spots were taken. It was our own fault but it still sucked. I found the CedarWoods Apts on Bangordaily.com plus my sister had used to lived there so I figured I would check it out. The prices was right and after we saw how large this place was it was a easy decision to make to live here. The move sucked though. We got it all done within 2 days but man was it hard work. Luckly Timmy Large was here to help and he did alot. Just moving that couch-bed alone was a job and a half but we got it done, I am glad that is over. The place looks great now and everything is in order. Only thing we are missing is Cable TV/Internet, which appearly Time Warner is backed up so far on, on jobs to install, that they told me they can't put my cable in till the 22nd of Oct. Fuck what now?... oh come on!!!.. They said if a spot opens up they will move me to a sooner date but I am not holding my breath on that.
Luckly Seth's bro Cory was friends with the ppl next door to us and ask them if we could share there wireless internet and they said sure. So at the least we are online, just no tv at the moment. I can live without Tv. I wont like it but I can do it.
Other then that life is pretty boring for me. Just day to day stuff really. Work and home, work and home, etc etc. I have been working alot more to try to put more muscle on my frame but it is going slower then I want it to. I am just doing what I can to get out more for any reason really. I am tired of my old life and I am determined to change it in someway for the better at that least. I dont really know where I am going with myself from here but I guess I will have to figure that out along the way. I wonder what the next year will bring. Who knows...
-Shakuras
12/21/12. Be ready.
Bare with me on this, I have alot of crap I need to remember and most of this will be me bitching about it. What else is new right? Fucking right.
This year didn't really start out all that well for me, I dont know what i really expected but loosing my dad was not one of them. I am pretty sure all of you know by now, aside from the random person that didn't hear, my father passed away this last march from lung problems he had been dealing with for many years that had just caught up with him. It was almost a week after my bday, it was actually i think 1 or 2 days short of his birthday if i remember right. It all happened so fast. Last thing i knew he and mom came out to the Oriental Jade with me one day to him catching yamonya the next. He never compeletly recovered from that, he just got worse and worse till he was just a shell of the man he was. He could not move, eat, or talk. I actually ended up staying and taking care of him on my birthday weekend, that was a experience I would forever remember. It was very hard to watch and deal with for me. A person can't help but think of their own mortality when they see a loved one going through it. It was a very real event for me that shook me to the core. Not a very fun birthday, but at least I got to spend some one on one time with him before the end at the least. A few days later he was sent to the hospital where this time he was not ever going to come back home.
Seeing my dad on his death bed was prolly one of the hardest things I had ever gone through. Alot of feelings came up in me that I didn't even know where there or that were that strong then. Our family and all his sisters and brothers where in the hospital around him at the time they were going to stop the machines that were keeping him alive. I unfortunately was the only one out of everyone that could not be there for it. I could not watch my dad die even though I knew it was going to happen. I remember walking out of the room, looking back knowing that this was the last time i was ever going to see him alive again. As I think back on that part of me wishes I stayed. I go back and forth on that decision. Not much I can do about it now.
Holy crap alot of stuff had to be done to get this all done with. I knew it was going to be alot but by the time was in the middle of it I felt I was getting in over my head and I was only the best man! I made it out alive thank God. The bachelor party was awesome to say the least, Mark, Andy, Doug and I went down to portland to the Platium Plus strip joint and had high expectations. We were not disappointed. Tim Large and Justin Dagle were going to come along to in a separate car but somehow got lost on the way down and never made it. I dont remember alot of that since I had a high blood alcohol level and boobies in my face at the time. Nothing else really matters at that point in time. O.o...
Most of those girls there were just amazing. A few of them climbed that pole like a monkey going up a tree then turned upside down and just hanged there and jiggled. It rocked and was pure entertainment. I didn't get as drunk as I wanted to over the course of the whole night cause well I wanted to save my money for the dances, and I came down from the buzz from drinking in the car ride about a hour after we got there. That sucked. However there was one thing that was evil in that place but brilliant at the same time I noticed. They put a fucking atm with a 5 dollar charge fee right next to the private dance area. When I came in I was like "Haha what stupid place for a atm, I am never going to use that" and by the end of the night I was using it and swearing to myself. Alot. ... Evil.
After that there was the wedding, all the way up to Fort Kent. Talk about a blast from the past. Dont get me wrong, Fort Kent was a great time in my life and I meet alot of my friends I know today there but at the same time it was in my past and I left it there. So it was kinda surreal to go back for any reason really. I was nervous about the whole thing, I didn't want to screw up plus I had NO idea what I was going to say at my speech, plus I just hate large groups of people in general. If it ws not for the booze I dont know what I would of done!. *ahem* Yes, anyway.
Overall it all went pretty well though, aside from having to wear the monkey suit (which somehow I tore the pants the first 30 seconds of wearing it and had to get it replaced) that was hot as hell and itchy, and that i kinda slipped up on a cue from the priest at the ceremony. But I got to hang out with everyone and get really drunk a few times and saw alot of ppl I haven't seen for a long long time. It was a bit of a lonely experience up there at times though, seeing almost everyone with someone. Couples seem to be in bloom this time of year, early harvest maybe? Pff whatever. But when a person is single it is hard not to see that crap all over the place. It gets old pretty fast..
First off to explain if you are curious the word "Ippid" if you were wondering what that was, it is the name used at my job for each item I place on the computer. For example if I place a telephone pole (or cable or terminal etc etc) on the map that is 1 Ippid. It stands for something but I can't remember what it is. All I know is when I work to much they haunt me in my dreams, chasing me with little knives. Scary stuff I tell you.
Ugh, lets see I am currently working at the James Sewall Co. in Old Town (again for the random person that might not know). They are a mapping and survey company that does all kinda of mapping crap. Whatever. What I do is I get this paper plats of "wirecenters" which is pretty much a random town in the USA of phone and cable wires that need to be placed on the computer using good old pain in the ass Micro "POS" Station. Basicly the company we work for that has the paper plats wants a digal copy of them for there records and something that is easier to read and handle then stacks of paper. It is a boring job but compared to the fast food business it is great!
As of now I am still not full time status there. In theory they higher temps "aka me" after a year to full time status. I am going past 2 years now still waiting. There excuse was "We had a bad time with not getting enough work and not sure if we can afford new ppl on full time now till the work flow gets more stable, blah blah blah we like to have our heads in each others asses and then take a DEEP BREATH" Or some stupid BS like that. Direct quote I swear it. O.o.
At the moment we have work coming out our ears, and then I go ask about full time, and get the same song and dance. It is pissing me off to high hell. I like this job but I feel the are putting this off for no good reason. I need dental insurance badly not to mention medical to take care of a few other things. Plus the PTO would rock too. I would not have to worry about long spans of being "sent home" cause of shortage of work in the future cause they only really do that to the temps. Both me and Seth have done our time there, we deserve full time. Blah!
To top that off the other week I was at work and during lunch I wanted to jump on the internet to check my gmail. I found out it was not working, I asked around and found out that IT cut off my interent. I was just like "WTF!!!" After a few days of what felt my boss avoiding me I got him to tell me that IT cut it off because of certain activity happening on my station after 4 pm. Mmm I get out of work each day at 3:30, I am NEVER there after then. Ever. Ppl both on the day and night shift can testify to that. So how am I doing this "bad activity" when I am not there?!??! Plus they told me that some back door program was hacking the network or something through my computer. Umm I have no idea how do to that plus even if I did why the fuck would I do that on my station in the middle of the fucking day?? I told them all this, without the swears of course (they stayed in my head) and IT told me they would get back to me on it. Soooo since our IT dep are fucking Rtards that means never or if they are really really bored they might look into it. Oh I am not done with this at all. Believe me that...the anger sharks are swimming in my head mother fucker.
I have been checking out those online sites lately like Match.com and Eharmony to see what/who I can find out ther. I do this because, well I am lonley and in my day to day routine I dont get to meet alot of new ppl. I know everyone says "Well change it, go to bars or just out!" Yeah, easy to say isn't it? You put yourself in my spot and you do it, I know you say u would but I bet most of you would not. It is alot harder to put it to pratice then to say it trust me. If I was to go out to the "clubs or bars" it would usually end up with me doing it alone because even though ppl say they would come with me when at times I ask if they want to they have some excuse and they dont. Being alone in places that like is never fun, specialy for me. It does not work, not for me. So the internet was the next option I thought I would try.
Had moderate luck on a few places, nothing got past chat for the most part, I then tryed Yahoo personnals and that seemed to be my lucky pot, or so it would seem. I ended talking and even meeting at least 4 of so ladies on there but it always seemed to be the whole "we work great online but in person it is different" so they fell through. But there was one that didn't, we got along really well, and ended up actually spending alot of time together. Things really were going good and I thought my stretch of bad luck was going to come to end. Then there came the trip to their camp. (Cue lighting strike in the back window and the "Dun dun Dunnnnnnn" music.)
She invited me out to the lake over out by Milo (ironicly) to spend the weekend out there with her friends and to clean the camp up for the winter. (remove the dock, pick up the yard etc) I was like cool and we all went out. Ok first off her first I only meet her friends like 1 other time and they seemed like cool peeps but I did just meet them so we were still on the getting to know each other phase. These people are interesting to say the least, best way I could put them is rich redneck hicks from Mars. They had the whole country music, big trucks needed for small in town driving, saying "Yeee HAA!", big belt buckles, cowboy boots, etc etc sterotypes going. It was actually really creepy to see it in real life. It was like one of those movies that make fun of these people but it was really happening and I was in the middle of it. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! DANGER!
But I was going to be open minded and I really really liked this girl so I went with it. It was odd, like a switch went off, she actually turned over being more like them then what I knew when she was around them. That should of been the first tip off for me, but I was stupid and hopeful so I keep going along with it.
That night we all drank like fish, I put down almost a whole bottle of Disaronno myself and they girls were hitting the rum pretty hard, the other guys there put down a few six backs of random cheap beer. (Am I shocked?, ...no) Through out the night and that day we all talked and hanged out randomly. Just me getting to know them and vice versa, it seemed like the normal routine that should be going. Late that night they all wanted to go skinny dipping in the lake, I was "Errrr no.. I am good", plus I was drunk as hell so I went in and layed down on the bed. Oh about 20ish mins later Mandi walks in (the girl I meet if you could not figure that out) drunk off her ass too and soaked from swimming came in and started talkign to me and pretty much telling me everything that was going on that I didn't know was going on. She told me her friends didn't think I was making enough of a attemp to get to know them. That I was not spending enough time with them and opening up to them enough and that this was going to be a serious problem for her. Why you ask? Oh let me tell you...
How she put it was that her friends are her life and if the guy in her life can't fit in with them (apparently within the span of a day and half of meeting them) then there was no hope for him.. I JUST FUCKING MEET THEM!!! AND TO TOP IT OFF THEY ARE THE COMPLETLY FUCKING OPPSITE FROM WHAT I USUALY HANG OUT WITH!!
Yet I still tried and was making head way, and I did spend alot of time talking with them considering all the differences we had. But I guess to her and them I was not doing it fast enough, I guess they needed me to be there best fucking friend in that first 2 days I knew them.. wtf. So I came back and said well nothing is stopping them from being more active and getting to know me, shouldn't it be both ways??? Her respond was, and I kid you not "Well they see the world revolving around them for the most part so they dont expect they have to do that" ..... .... .. ... okkkkkk..... WHATEVER! CRAZY ALERT CRAZY ALERT!
That next morning around the breakfast table I hear them talking about something but I didn't really think much of it cause well I didn't care. But then I heard the word "Orgy". That got my attention. I figured they were making some joke or something. No, it turns out everyone but me and Mandi had a orgy over by the camp fire that last night. Actually it was around the time I was talking with her that night I was told. I saw proof of the many condoms, blankets layed out, clothes, empty and half empty booze bottles and yes, stains. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Ok, so by the time the "work" is done with the pulling out the dock and picking up the yard on a really bad hang over, I asked if we can head out cause I had a head ache and really felt the need for a shower......
The ride home was quiet, more so then it should been but I shook it off that she was hung over too. Things left off on a good note considering. Then after that day she simply stop talking to me. I sent emails, txt's, called her. She just avoided me like the plauge. I had no idea what was going on only that it was really pissing me off. Finally I cornered her in chat and asked whats up, well turned out she decieded I was not what she wanted cause of how her friends felt I didn't fit in enough so she didnt' want anything to do with me any more. THANKS FOR FUCKING TELLING ME THAT. grr.. why are woman crazy? I just want one that is not crazy, do they exsist out there? Or is it me that makes them crazy? Or maybe I am the crazy one and screw it up somehow. I dont know. All I know it didn't help my confidence one bit, I feel lower then ever now.
Where is the booze?
We have all finally got to the point where we are parting ways and getting all our own places. We wanted to do it a year ago but complications with the last landlord telling us we had to get out within a span of a week basicly forced us to spend another year together to find a place in time. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind but at the time it was happening I was pissed cause I was ready to get my own place. But over all I think it was for the best, we all had money problems in someway during this last year and living with each other helped alot. Plus we had a few really wild parties there. Good memories.
At first I planed and living on my own but afer looking at prices of places I knew there was no way I could afford it so at the time Seth was looking for a roommate too so it only made sense have him as a roommate. Luckly our work schedules are completely opposite so we dont really see each other, other then on weekends. Otherwise with his temper and my just plain violent attatude towards life we would prolly end up killing each other in a few weeks. Hide the sliverwear and blunt objects!
We at first wanted to live near work in Old Town but that didnt really turn out to well. By the time we started looking for places most the good spots were taken. It was our own fault but it still sucked. I found the CedarWoods Apts on Bangordaily.com plus my sister had used to lived there so I figured I would check it out. The prices was right and after we saw how large this place was it was a easy decision to make to live here. The move sucked though. We got it all done within 2 days but man was it hard work. Luckly Timmy Large was here to help and he did alot. Just moving that couch-bed alone was a job and a half but we got it done, I am glad that is over. The place looks great now and everything is in order. Only thing we are missing is Cable TV/Internet, which appearly Time Warner is backed up so far on, on jobs to install, that they told me they can't put my cable in till the 22nd of Oct. Fuck what now?... oh come on!!!.. They said if a spot opens up they will move me to a sooner date but I am not holding my breath on that.
Luckly Seth's bro Cory was friends with the ppl next door to us and ask them if we could share there wireless internet and they said sure. So at the least we are online, just no tv at the moment. I can live without Tv. I wont like it but I can do it.
Other then that life is pretty boring for me. Just day to day stuff really. Work and home, work and home, etc etc. I have been working alot more to try to put more muscle on my frame but it is going slower then I want it to. I am just doing what I can to get out more for any reason really. I am tired of my old life and I am determined to change it in someway for the better at that least. I dont really know where I am going with myself from here but I guess I will have to figure that out along the way. I wonder what the next year will bring. Who knows...
-Shakuras
12/21/12. Be ready.