(no subject)
I feel really stupid, that's all.
Just stupid.
I think, one good thing I can get from this, is that I felt really pretty all week and that was nice.
But now I feel stupid. Pretty and stupid. Pretty stupid.
I guess I couldn't have known that it was all probably nothing, but I could have known if I had looked at everything ever.
It's all nothing.
And I want someone to pick me up and make me feel better, and then I get so mad at myself because I remember that my dad is right and I do not need anyone. Ever.
I have everything I need, and that is great. And I still love my friends. I just hope my lack of trust doesn't make me look like a bitter and unhappy person. Like I said, I wasn't just being pessimistic; I was trying not to get hurt. Again.
Well, I did.
I watched Step by Step earlier today, and despite wishing I were with someone to watch it, I really enjoyed myself. I completely forgot how much I used to watch that show. Weird.
Then I did a lot of dishes and sang really loudly and that always seems to help.
Tonight I have to go to a slumber party with Emily, only I'm not so sure I want to anymore. Well, at least I won't be able to wish that *someone* would call/check my facebook every 5 minutes.
And Monday, I'll be alone in Austin, as things should be.
Just stupid.
I think, one good thing I can get from this, is that I felt really pretty all week and that was nice.
But now I feel stupid. Pretty and stupid. Pretty stupid.
I guess I couldn't have known that it was all probably nothing, but I could have known if I had looked at everything ever.
It's all nothing.
And I want someone to pick me up and make me feel better, and then I get so mad at myself because I remember that my dad is right and I do not need anyone. Ever.
I have everything I need, and that is great. And I still love my friends. I just hope my lack of trust doesn't make me look like a bitter and unhappy person. Like I said, I wasn't just being pessimistic; I was trying not to get hurt. Again.
Well, I did.
I watched Step by Step earlier today, and despite wishing I were with someone to watch it, I really enjoyed myself. I completely forgot how much I used to watch that show. Weird.
Then I did a lot of dishes and sang really loudly and that always seems to help.
Tonight I have to go to a slumber party with Emily, only I'm not so sure I want to anymore. Well, at least I won't be able to wish that *someone* would call/check my facebook every 5 minutes.
And Monday, I'll be alone in Austin, as things should be.