Swords are cool- don't deny it!
Justin and I are now recognized by the Society of American Fight Directors of having a basic proficiency at single sword stage combat- which means we can show you if you like but can't teach ya a damn thing. Very very groovy. After weeks of learning from Brian Byrnes we've basically learned "the pointy end DOES NOT go into the other guy- but try and make it look like it will"
Which is so much harder and cooler than you'd realize.
Sunday we took the BIG TEST that the class had been sweating for the last few months and (on a technicality since I couldn't pay the fee) I was able to take the test anyways!
Doc has made the deal to have the department pay the fees if none of us were late or absent the remaining four weeks or so. Everyone agreed. Except me- who was absent that day with a previously 'wanged' knee. When I returned (2 min. late) I was brought up to date and I took a similar oath. Shortly there after we all began to panic and the class day before the test the bus takes a horrifying hour and a half to swing by and I'm late (5 min.). Which means I'm screwed- I'm too broke right now (awards banquet $25/ Ny Trip $750/ car repair $400/ electric bill $500/ cell phone $85- stop calling me use txt messages)way too broke right now to be able to afford this right now- this week.
And for anyone thinking "Hey, Carlo! I'd loan you the forty bucks!" Screw off- you should know by now I wouldn't take it and I'd be a prideful little bitch about it.
So, I'm screwed. Come day of- I'm still there early and warming up- swish swish. My partner- the lovely and gleeful to remind me 'bendy' Robin will be taking the test and needs a partner who knows the choreography. Me.
After a few minor crisis's- Robin lost receipts, Evans bailed on Briones, Brian late, and the initial fear of the really rather British Fight Master.
And yes, that is the actual titles they have: Fight Master. Which is a very bad ass title.
So, Richard Ryan will be testing us- watching our scenes then giving us each a bit of direction and new choreography to pick up in ten minutes. I'm serious- an entirely new fight in ten minutes shown/tried/practiced/ performed.
Our scene was first since I went with the "let's get it over with and get brownie points for having the balls/ovaries to go first" attitude and immediately screwed up the third bit- I won't say who did that. (saying that tells you who did if you know anything about me) Upon screwing up we continued with the scene anyways with nary a reaction but he smiled and seemed very happy with it. Everyone else went- Justin if you'd like to know did a cool Roc Hudson-ish Barrymoore in "I hate Hamlet" where he and George (hor-hey) screwed up slightly but gave a anguished little "oh!". Still very interesting and groovy.
Afterwards Bryan and Richard went off to discuss Fighty Mastery things and we all sat and panicked. It occurred to me to stand and keep warm and one of the ringers from UH main who had been tested that morning suggested we all do that.
He returns and we go into the new fight. I'm teamed up with George this time and when we get to go we screw up viciously- really bad. We look up at the fight masters who immediately whip their heads towards each other and begin talking about the difference in "last and lost" in the British accent and Texas drawl. it's a bit old school comedy and gets me to laugh and lose a little gitters.
"Oh! Sorry, did you start? Did they start? We missed it! Did you know?"
"No! NO, I didn't hear a thing- no one tells me anything- did we miss it? Can you guys do it again- we want to see it this time"
"Yes, once more please- while we're watching."
It's always odd to see "grown up"s who turn into kids around each other- I spend too much time turning into a grown up around most of my friends myself.
We try again and it's still bumpy- I'm over thinking and tearing my self a new one each move and George is just thrown with the whole ready-set-go speediness of it all but we still struggle. I notice Richard panic when he sees me get angry with myself. I smack my arm with my blade leaving a small red welt and slap myself across the face (which I forget startles people as I do it all the time). He asks me who I'm fighting up there very seriously and of course disarmingly English and I answer without thinking "myself"
He nods and tells me that Georges my enemy and he needs to see that- so I try to kill George and we get through the fight well. Actually, pretty well indeed. Our scene a tiny bit more anger and desperation in it than many of the others if not the flash of some. After wards the F.M's go out and talk some more- but this time they offer all of us some cashews and beernuts- I don't know why they had but they had picked up several tins of legumes for the test.
When they return Brian gleefully lets us in on the whole story about our clearly very skilled adjudicator- He's Batman!
Well, not quite. Go ahead and google the name or better yet just go to IMDB.com and look up Richard Ryan VII and see who you get. It's ok- I'll wait.
Yep, he taught Batman how to fight the joker in the new movie- he also put together the awesome dead Septimus fight from Stardust! He even stands in for Bobby Deniro during the wide shots! And another artist that I can't divulge here on LJ but will gush about later in person. So, yeah, total bad ass. He dazzles us with a few stories about his career including a show with more than eighty actors and four elephants on stage- real living peeing elephants on stage- at once! So, we all have little actor crushes on him and Brian is all grins talking about how cool his buddy just happens to be
We are all so enthralled that the note of "I'm going to pass all of you" zips by with barely a "huzzah" he does however, add some notes we could all use. He reminds me that I'm my own worst enemy but it'll push me as long as it don't kill me. However, my biggest problem in my scene was that he knows that play. Zatrozzi- I'm supposed to be a master criminal, master thief, master swordsman, master killer, and master rapist. A bad guy. And Robin is playing the greatest and most evil seductress in all the world but we are discussing my choosing bloodthirsty revenge over kinky and crazed sex. We, however, come across as primarily flirty and it's more of a coy foreplay than a straight denial- which is what we were going for but since he knew the play; "You should be at least a bit mean to each other."
He grabs a nice pen and signs all of our certificates which I need to scan and place in this post later- it even has the Spanish 'N' on it. I then ran the fuck away before anyone started looking up who paid what fee and who was just there to help someone else!
Oh, drat! I left it in the theatre- I'll be right back.
Which is so much harder and cooler than you'd realize.
Sunday we took the BIG TEST that the class had been sweating for the last few months and (on a technicality since I couldn't pay the fee) I was able to take the test anyways!
Doc has made the deal to have the department pay the fees if none of us were late or absent the remaining four weeks or so. Everyone agreed. Except me- who was absent that day with a previously 'wanged' knee. When I returned (2 min. late) I was brought up to date and I took a similar oath. Shortly there after we all began to panic and the class day before the test the bus takes a horrifying hour and a half to swing by and I'm late (5 min.). Which means I'm screwed- I'm too broke right now (awards banquet $25/ Ny Trip $750/ car repair $400/ electric bill $500/ cell phone $85- stop calling me use txt messages)way too broke right now to be able to afford this right now- this week.
And for anyone thinking "Hey, Carlo! I'd loan you the forty bucks!" Screw off- you should know by now I wouldn't take it and I'd be a prideful little bitch about it.
So, I'm screwed. Come day of- I'm still there early and warming up- swish swish. My partner- the lovely and gleeful to remind me 'bendy' Robin will be taking the test and needs a partner who knows the choreography. Me.
After a few minor crisis's- Robin lost receipts, Evans bailed on Briones, Brian late, and the initial fear of the really rather British Fight Master.
And yes, that is the actual titles they have: Fight Master. Which is a very bad ass title.
So, Richard Ryan will be testing us- watching our scenes then giving us each a bit of direction and new choreography to pick up in ten minutes. I'm serious- an entirely new fight in ten minutes shown/tried/practiced/ performed.
Our scene was first since I went with the "let's get it over with and get brownie points for having the balls/ovaries to go first" attitude and immediately screwed up the third bit- I won't say who did that. (saying that tells you who did if you know anything about me) Upon screwing up we continued with the scene anyways with nary a reaction but he smiled and seemed very happy with it. Everyone else went- Justin if you'd like to know did a cool Roc Hudson-ish Barrymoore in "I hate Hamlet" where he and George (hor-hey) screwed up slightly but gave a anguished little "oh!". Still very interesting and groovy.
Afterwards Bryan and Richard went off to discuss Fighty Mastery things and we all sat and panicked. It occurred to me to stand and keep warm and one of the ringers from UH main who had been tested that morning suggested we all do that.
He returns and we go into the new fight. I'm teamed up with George this time and when we get to go we screw up viciously- really bad. We look up at the fight masters who immediately whip their heads towards each other and begin talking about the difference in "last and lost" in the British accent and Texas drawl. it's a bit old school comedy and gets me to laugh and lose a little gitters.
"Oh! Sorry, did you start? Did they start? We missed it! Did you know?"
"No! NO, I didn't hear a thing- no one tells me anything- did we miss it? Can you guys do it again- we want to see it this time"
"Yes, once more please- while we're watching."
It's always odd to see "grown up"s who turn into kids around each other- I spend too much time turning into a grown up around most of my friends myself.
We try again and it's still bumpy- I'm over thinking and tearing my self a new one each move and George is just thrown with the whole ready-set-go speediness of it all but we still struggle. I notice Richard panic when he sees me get angry with myself. I smack my arm with my blade leaving a small red welt and slap myself across the face (which I forget startles people as I do it all the time). He asks me who I'm fighting up there very seriously and of course disarmingly English and I answer without thinking "myself"
He nods and tells me that Georges my enemy and he needs to see that- so I try to kill George and we get through the fight well. Actually, pretty well indeed. Our scene a tiny bit more anger and desperation in it than many of the others if not the flash of some. After wards the F.M's go out and talk some more- but this time they offer all of us some cashews and beernuts- I don't know why they had but they had picked up several tins of legumes for the test.
When they return Brian gleefully lets us in on the whole story about our clearly very skilled adjudicator- He's Batman!
Well, not quite. Go ahead and google the name or better yet just go to IMDB.com and look up Richard Ryan VII and see who you get. It's ok- I'll wait.
Yep, he taught Batman how to fight the joker in the new movie- he also put together the awesome dead Septimus fight from Stardust! He even stands in for Bobby Deniro during the wide shots! And another artist that I can't divulge here on LJ but will gush about later in person. So, yeah, total bad ass. He dazzles us with a few stories about his career including a show with more than eighty actors and four elephants on stage- real living peeing elephants on stage- at once! So, we all have little actor crushes on him and Brian is all grins talking about how cool his buddy just happens to be
We are all so enthralled that the note of "I'm going to pass all of you" zips by with barely a "huzzah" he does however, add some notes we could all use. He reminds me that I'm my own worst enemy but it'll push me as long as it don't kill me. However, my biggest problem in my scene was that he knows that play. Zatrozzi- I'm supposed to be a master criminal, master thief, master swordsman, master killer, and master rapist. A bad guy. And Robin is playing the greatest and most evil seductress in all the world but we are discussing my choosing bloodthirsty revenge over kinky and crazed sex. We, however, come across as primarily flirty and it's more of a coy foreplay than a straight denial- which is what we were going for but since he knew the play; "You should be at least a bit mean to each other."
He grabs a nice pen and signs all of our certificates which I need to scan and place in this post later- it even has the Spanish 'N' on it. I then ran the fuck away before anyone started looking up who paid what fee and who was just there to help someone else!
Oh, drat! I left it in the theatre- I'll be right back.