(no subject)
I loved him so much we said we we were going to get married...just 2 days ago we were talking about it
and he just left without saying anything
he said hed call me
i've been so fucked up lately and i know i was pushing him too hard but i thought he's forgive
i've forgiven for so many things worse things
he said he loved me he said it last night
why would he lie to me
i would have been ok if he had just told me it was over
or told me anything anything
he said he wanted it to work last night
why would he lie to me
i've never felt so safe asi do with him
wh en i can't stop worrying he makes me feel better
but didn't really care about me did he
he knows that i can't stand not knowing what was happening
i wanted to tell him not leave last night just to stay with me even though i was mad at him but i couldn't tell him
because i wanted to decide to make the relationship work this time
but he decided not to
without even telling me
i wish i told him that i love last night but i didn't because i wanted him to take a risk and i don't even fucking know
i've already left 3 messages one saying i guess you decided it's over then i went to his house to make sure he left and he did
then i went home and started crying and i called him two more timesn crying and asking him why he left without calling
i don't have an idea what purpose they serve and he wont be able to get them for 2 days anyway
i just don't know why nothing works out for me and why i'm such a fuck up
everything is my fault isn't it
honestly i'd rather have the fucked gabe than no gabe
but that's because i still almost think it's possible he loves me i need someone to tell he doesn't so i can let go
i don't want to stop typing so i don't have to think about this
he's the only person i've ever talked to completely openly and he just left me not knowing what's happening with no one to talk to why would he do that
and he just left without saying anything
he said hed call me
i've been so fucked up lately and i know i was pushing him too hard but i thought he's forgive
i've forgiven for so many things worse things
he said he loved me he said it last night
why would he lie to me
i would have been ok if he had just told me it was over
or told me anything anything
he said he wanted it to work last night
why would he lie to me
i've never felt so safe asi do with him
wh en i can't stop worrying he makes me feel better
but didn't really care about me did he
he knows that i can't stand not knowing what was happening
i wanted to tell him not leave last night just to stay with me even though i was mad at him but i couldn't tell him
because i wanted to decide to make the relationship work this time
but he decided not to
without even telling me
i wish i told him that i love last night but i didn't because i wanted him to take a risk and i don't even fucking know
i've already left 3 messages one saying i guess you decided it's over then i went to his house to make sure he left and he did
then i went home and started crying and i called him two more timesn crying and asking him why he left without calling
i don't have an idea what purpose they serve and he wont be able to get them for 2 days anyway
i just don't know why nothing works out for me and why i'm such a fuck up
everything is my fault isn't it
honestly i'd rather have the fucked gabe than no gabe
but that's because i still almost think it's possible he loves me i need someone to tell he doesn't so i can let go
i don't want to stop typing so i don't have to think about this
he's the only person i've ever talked to completely openly and he just left me not knowing what's happening with no one to talk to why would he do that