(no subject)
i had a very upsetting experience this evening. i was window shopping in the nyuish area and saw a vintage on broadway that looked cool. i need a present for my friend so i thought i would hop in. i went in and looked through their t-shirts, a woman who worked there said hello, i said hi back etc. then i went to the back of the store and was looking up at all the dresses on the wall. i was in my own world and sort of heard a man say hi. a little startled, i said hi back and kept looking, here's the conversation that followed
salesman: are you alright?:
me: oh, yeah, i'm fine. (continue to look around)
man: are you sure you're alright? you don't have to get defensive.
me: yeah... (smile, laugh, keep browsing)
man: why are you laughing?
me: i'm just looking around.
man: yeah well you don't don't have to get defensive.
(i look at him)
man: are you offended by that? maybe this isn't the store for you.
and i walked right out. i couldn't believe it. the way he spoke to me was SO RUDE. and i'm a sensitive person, so episodes like this really upset me. and i don't want to jump to any conclusions, but i think it was a racial thing. which shocks me. i just wouldn't expect that in the middle of manhattan in a vintage clothing store. thankfully i've only been a victim of racsim a few times in my life. and people want to know why it's not cool to joke about it. because! it still exists and is very painful. maybe that wasn't it. but that's what my gut told me the minute i looked him in the eye. projection is a huge thing. he thought i was being rude to him when really i was just cold, and tired, and thinking about my own problems. i wanted to do the whole "may i speak to your manager" thing, but i needed to get out of there. it was fucking upsetting.
salesman: are you alright?:
me: oh, yeah, i'm fine. (continue to look around)
man: are you sure you're alright? you don't have to get defensive.
me: yeah... (smile, laugh, keep browsing)
man: why are you laughing?
me: i'm just looking around.
man: yeah well you don't don't have to get defensive.
(i look at him)
man: are you offended by that? maybe this isn't the store for you.
and i walked right out. i couldn't believe it. the way he spoke to me was SO RUDE. and i'm a sensitive person, so episodes like this really upset me. and i don't want to jump to any conclusions, but i think it was a racial thing. which shocks me. i just wouldn't expect that in the middle of manhattan in a vintage clothing store. thankfully i've only been a victim of racsim a few times in my life. and people want to know why it's not cool to joke about it. because! it still exists and is very painful. maybe that wasn't it. but that's what my gut told me the minute i looked him in the eye. projection is a huge thing. he thought i was being rude to him when really i was just cold, and tired, and thinking about my own problems. i wanted to do the whole "may i speak to your manager" thing, but i needed to get out of there. it was fucking upsetting.