IM BACK BITCHEZ
well well well
we meet again.
i suppose i am doing this mostly for myself. to get out of my head
fuck it im using all caps, not because im angery, just because thats the way i really write.
SO ANYWHO.
I AM IN MY HEAD WAY TO MUCH. ITS PARTLY ME NOT HAVING MUCH OF A SOCIAL LIFE FOR ABOUT THE PAST YEAR, AND PARTLY BECAUSE OF SOME MEDICAL ISSUES, THAT I AM COMMING TO TERMS WITH.
YES, THATS RIGHT, IM DIEING
NO NOT REALLY.
BUT I JUST FELT LIKE CHECKING OUT MY GOOD OL' LJ AND IT BEGGED ME TO POST A NEW ENTRY.
IM REALLY SUPRIZED I REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD. IT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE THIS BUT THIS ISNT IT: m78vfe
SO LIFE, WELL LIFE IS A PIECE OF WORK, LEMME TELL YA.
BUT NEVER THE LESS NOT TO BRAG, OR JYNKS MYSELF BUT I ALWAYS MAKE GOOD OF BAD SITUATIONS.
UPDATE ON ME:
I HAVE A JOB AS A MANAGER OF A "CELEBRATY" DOCTORS OFFICE, WHICH I HIGHLY UNDER APRRECIATE. HONESTLY, I DONT KNOW HOW GOOD I HAVE IT. I DO THAT WITH ALOT OF THINGS IN LIFE...
SCHOOL IS LIKE ALL OVER THE PLACE, WENT TO PAUL MITCHELL FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE, HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND THEN DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS, THEN WENT TO AVEDA, BUT I WASNT HAVING THAT. SO MY NEW PLAN IS TO GO BACK TO PAUL MITCHELL OR JUST HALF ASS IT AND FINISH COSMETOLOGY AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE. WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT.
MY FUTURE, UP IN THE AIR. I LIKE COSMETOLOGY, BUT I REALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING IN THE FIELD WITH ANIMALS, BUT IM TOO LAZY TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR 4 YEARS, AND I HAVE ALREADY PUT SO MUCH MONEY IN TO COSMETOLOGY THAT IT HURTS. PLUS WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF INCOME I WOULD HAVE WORKING WITH ANIMALS, I COULD LOSE A LEG! BUT THERE IS NO DOUBT I ENJOY THE COMPANY OF ANIMALS MORE THAN MOST HUMANS.
LIVING ARRANGMENTS, WELL I HAVE BEEN PLAYING HOUSE SINCE I GOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, WHICH HASNT WORKED OUT TOO WELL FOR ME LET ME TELL YA. SO MY NEW PLAN IS TO NEVER MOVE IN WITH A GUY UNTILL THE WHOLE "ENGAGEMENT" PROCESS BEGINS. LUCKILY FOR ME, I HAVE THE MOST AWSOME BEST FRIEND, NO NOT A BEST FRIEND, MORE LIKE A SISTER, NO MORE LIKE A TWIN, NO MORE LIKE A SIAMESE TWIN. WE ARE SOLE MATES THAT IS FOR SURE (NOT IN A LEZBO WAY). WELL ANY WAY OF COURSE I AM TALKING ABOUT AUTUMN. WE WILL BE LIVING TOGETHER, I BELIEVE OUR PLACE IS GOING TO BE A BIT LIKE A CIRCUS, A STRIP CLUB, AND AN ART GALLERY.
MUSICALLY, I HAVE NOTHING. WHICH SADDENS ME AND MAKES MY LIFE NOT WORTH LIVING. AFTER THE KKC, THERE WAS HUG PARADE, AND A SHORT RUN WITH YOGHURT, BUT NO SHOWS IN TOO LONG OF A TIME. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY WANT TO PLAY THE DRUMS, WHICH I BOUGHT, BUT THEN I HAD TO RETURN BECAUSE SOMEONE THREW ME TO THE WOLVES (NOTE TO YOU: KARMA) SO YEA I REALLY MISS MUSIC.
ARTISTICALLY, I HAVE DONE ALOT, ONLY ABOUT 4 PAINTINGS THIS YEAR, WHICH MAKES ME SAD. BUT ATLEAST I HAVNT STOPPED COMPLETELY. I JUST HAVNT FELT INSPIRED IN A WHILE
SO SINCE MY LOVE FOR ANIMALS IS SO EXTREME, I HAD TAKEN ON THE RESPONCIBILITY OF 4 DOGS, WHICH I REALISE NOW, I CAN NOT HANDLE ON MY OWN. SO I HAVE TO FIND NEW HOMES FOR 2. GOOD HOMES. BETTER THAN MINE. BUT THERE IS STILL GOOD OL' MINI, MY BEST BITCH, AND CHICHI, MY NEW WHORE OF A DOG. HE REMINDS ME OF ELLE, MY OLD DOGGIE.
OK NOW TO RANT!
I HATE THE FUCKING BUS! ESPECIALLY IN LA. WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY DONT PEOPLE TAKE SHOWERS? WTF!? WHY DO PEOPLE WHO JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT GET A SEAT FEEL THE NEED TO PRESS THEIR CROTCH OR SPARE TIRE AGAINST YOUR SHOULDER, DO THEY THING IM GONNA GET UP IF THEY DO THAT!?
AND I HATE LA TRAFFIC! I DONT GET IT, EVEN THOUGHT THERE ARE ALOT OF CARS, SHOULDNT THEY ALL BE MOVING? I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND TRAFIC.
HOWEVER I DO LOVE LA.
OK NOW FOR THE SENTAMENTS!
DEAR BABY,
I AM GOING TO MISS YOU SO INCREDABLY MUCH, IM GOING TO MISS TAKING BATHS WITH YOU, CUDDLING WITH YOU. GOING TO THE PARK. SHARING A PIZZA. EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES WE FAUGHT, AND YOU WOULD TRY TO GET BACK AT ME WHEN I WOULD GET ANGERY, I STILL LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. AND EVERYONE ELSE LOVED YOU TOO, YOU ARE SO CARISMATIC, AND ENTERTAINING, ALWAYS THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. I KNOW YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND FORGET ABOUT ME BUT ILL NEVER FORGET YOU MY LOVE. OF COURSE IM TALKING ABOUT MR BEANS!!!! :(((((
ITS FUNNY HOW ATTACHED I GET TO MY PETS, THEY TURN INTO MY CHILDREN, SERIOUSLY.
NOW ON TO JUST CHATTING!!!
WELL, TODAY I FOUND OUT MY BOSS ISNT AS MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE AS I THOUGH. HE IS ACTUALLY HELPING ME FIND A CAR WITH HIS "HOOK UPS", DOCTORS ALWAYS HAVE HOOK UPS YOU KNOW... I WANT NACHOS SO FREAKIN BAD BUT I BY THE TIME I GET HOMEIT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR ME TO WALK THROUGH MY GHETTO NEIGHBORHOOD ALONE. ALSO I HAVE THIS NAGGING THOUGHT, THAT JUST WONT GO AWAY. WELL I SUPPOSE THIS THOUGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN MY HEAD, IT JUST WASNT AS PREVELANT AS IT NOW, SINCE ABOUT DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR. I WONT SPEAK OF THIS THOUGHT, I CANT REVEAL MY WHOLE CRAZY! THAT WOULDNT BE ANY FUN... BUT THIS THOUGHT, FOR NOW IS ONLY A THOUGHT, WHO KNOWS IF IT CAN TURN INTO SOMETHING REAL. IT WAS REAL ONCE. BUT IT'S NOT UP TO ME TO THINGS REAL I SUPPOSE. I CAN ONLY TRY TO NUDGE THINGS ALONG. ALONG WITH THIS THOUGHT COMES REGRET. WHICH IS NEW TO ME, BECAUSE I RARELY REGRET CHOICES I MAKE EVEN IF THEY HAVN'T LEAD ME DOWN THE PATH I PLANNED. FOR INSTANCE
I DONT REGRET
STOPPING COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH BY NOW I COULD HAVE BEEN DONE, AND NOT WORKING THIS SHITTY JOB(WHICH LIKE I SAID REALLY ISNT THAT SHITTY, BUT I TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED)
GETTING MY FIRST TATTOO IN VENICE BY SOME CRAZY ASIAN LADY WHO DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO TATTOO,
MOVING OUT ON MY OWN, EVEN THOUGH IM NOT LIVING THE RICHEST LIFE I COULD BE, BUT FOR MY SITUATION I THINK IM DOING PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
LIVING LIFE HOW EVER THE FUCK I WANT, BECAUSE IF I DIE TOMORROW AND THE DAY I DIED I WAS DOING SOMETHING I DIDNT WANT TO DO, ID BE SO PISSED!
THINGS I DO REGRET
JUST THAT ONE THING.
WHICH ACTUALLY BOILS DOWN TO ABOUT 10 THINGS, BUT I AM COUNTING IT AS ONE GIANT REGRET.
CHEERS!
we meet again.
i suppose i am doing this mostly for myself. to get out of my head
fuck it im using all caps, not because im angery, just because thats the way i really write.
SO ANYWHO.
I AM IN MY HEAD WAY TO MUCH. ITS PARTLY ME NOT HAVING MUCH OF A SOCIAL LIFE FOR ABOUT THE PAST YEAR, AND PARTLY BECAUSE OF SOME MEDICAL ISSUES, THAT I AM COMMING TO TERMS WITH.
YES, THATS RIGHT, IM DIEING
NO NOT REALLY.
BUT I JUST FELT LIKE CHECKING OUT MY GOOD OL' LJ AND IT BEGGED ME TO POST A NEW ENTRY.
IM REALLY SUPRIZED I REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD. IT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE THIS BUT THIS ISNT IT: m78vfe
SO LIFE, WELL LIFE IS A PIECE OF WORK, LEMME TELL YA.
BUT NEVER THE LESS NOT TO BRAG, OR JYNKS MYSELF BUT I ALWAYS MAKE GOOD OF BAD SITUATIONS.
UPDATE ON ME:
I HAVE A JOB AS A MANAGER OF A "CELEBRATY" DOCTORS OFFICE, WHICH I HIGHLY UNDER APRRECIATE. HONESTLY, I DONT KNOW HOW GOOD I HAVE IT. I DO THAT WITH ALOT OF THINGS IN LIFE...
SCHOOL IS LIKE ALL OVER THE PLACE, WENT TO PAUL MITCHELL FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE, HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND THEN DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS, THEN WENT TO AVEDA, BUT I WASNT HAVING THAT. SO MY NEW PLAN IS TO GO BACK TO PAUL MITCHELL OR JUST HALF ASS IT AND FINISH COSMETOLOGY AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE. WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT.
MY FUTURE, UP IN THE AIR. I LIKE COSMETOLOGY, BUT I REALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING IN THE FIELD WITH ANIMALS, BUT IM TOO LAZY TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR 4 YEARS, AND I HAVE ALREADY PUT SO MUCH MONEY IN TO COSMETOLOGY THAT IT HURTS. PLUS WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF INCOME I WOULD HAVE WORKING WITH ANIMALS, I COULD LOSE A LEG! BUT THERE IS NO DOUBT I ENJOY THE COMPANY OF ANIMALS MORE THAN MOST HUMANS.
LIVING ARRANGMENTS, WELL I HAVE BEEN PLAYING HOUSE SINCE I GOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, WHICH HASNT WORKED OUT TOO WELL FOR ME LET ME TELL YA. SO MY NEW PLAN IS TO NEVER MOVE IN WITH A GUY UNTILL THE WHOLE "ENGAGEMENT" PROCESS BEGINS. LUCKILY FOR ME, I HAVE THE MOST AWSOME BEST FRIEND, NO NOT A BEST FRIEND, MORE LIKE A SISTER, NO MORE LIKE A TWIN, NO MORE LIKE A SIAMESE TWIN. WE ARE SOLE MATES THAT IS FOR SURE (NOT IN A LEZBO WAY). WELL ANY WAY OF COURSE I AM TALKING ABOUT AUTUMN. WE WILL BE LIVING TOGETHER, I BELIEVE OUR PLACE IS GOING TO BE A BIT LIKE A CIRCUS, A STRIP CLUB, AND AN ART GALLERY.
MUSICALLY, I HAVE NOTHING. WHICH SADDENS ME AND MAKES MY LIFE NOT WORTH LIVING. AFTER THE KKC, THERE WAS HUG PARADE, AND A SHORT RUN WITH YOGHURT, BUT NO SHOWS IN TOO LONG OF A TIME. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY WANT TO PLAY THE DRUMS, WHICH I BOUGHT, BUT THEN I HAD TO RETURN BECAUSE SOMEONE THREW ME TO THE WOLVES (NOTE TO YOU: KARMA) SO YEA I REALLY MISS MUSIC.
ARTISTICALLY, I HAVE DONE ALOT, ONLY ABOUT 4 PAINTINGS THIS YEAR, WHICH MAKES ME SAD. BUT ATLEAST I HAVNT STOPPED COMPLETELY. I JUST HAVNT FELT INSPIRED IN A WHILE
SO SINCE MY LOVE FOR ANIMALS IS SO EXTREME, I HAD TAKEN ON THE RESPONCIBILITY OF 4 DOGS, WHICH I REALISE NOW, I CAN NOT HANDLE ON MY OWN. SO I HAVE TO FIND NEW HOMES FOR 2. GOOD HOMES. BETTER THAN MINE. BUT THERE IS STILL GOOD OL' MINI, MY BEST BITCH, AND CHICHI, MY NEW WHORE OF A DOG. HE REMINDS ME OF ELLE, MY OLD DOGGIE.
OK NOW TO RANT!
I HATE THE FUCKING BUS! ESPECIALLY IN LA. WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY DONT PEOPLE TAKE SHOWERS? WTF!? WHY DO PEOPLE WHO JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT GET A SEAT FEEL THE NEED TO PRESS THEIR CROTCH OR SPARE TIRE AGAINST YOUR SHOULDER, DO THEY THING IM GONNA GET UP IF THEY DO THAT!?
AND I HATE LA TRAFFIC! I DONT GET IT, EVEN THOUGHT THERE ARE ALOT OF CARS, SHOULDNT THEY ALL BE MOVING? I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND TRAFIC.
HOWEVER I DO LOVE LA.
OK NOW FOR THE SENTAMENTS!
DEAR BABY,
I AM GOING TO MISS YOU SO INCREDABLY MUCH, IM GOING TO MISS TAKING BATHS WITH YOU, CUDDLING WITH YOU. GOING TO THE PARK. SHARING A PIZZA. EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES WE FAUGHT, AND YOU WOULD TRY TO GET BACK AT ME WHEN I WOULD GET ANGERY, I STILL LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. AND EVERYONE ELSE LOVED YOU TOO, YOU ARE SO CARISMATIC, AND ENTERTAINING, ALWAYS THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. I KNOW YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND FORGET ABOUT ME BUT ILL NEVER FORGET YOU MY LOVE. OF COURSE IM TALKING ABOUT MR BEANS!!!! :(((((
ITS FUNNY HOW ATTACHED I GET TO MY PETS, THEY TURN INTO MY CHILDREN, SERIOUSLY.
NOW ON TO JUST CHATTING!!!
WELL, TODAY I FOUND OUT MY BOSS ISNT AS MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE AS I THOUGH. HE IS ACTUALLY HELPING ME FIND A CAR WITH HIS "HOOK UPS", DOCTORS ALWAYS HAVE HOOK UPS YOU KNOW... I WANT NACHOS SO FREAKIN BAD BUT I BY THE TIME I GET HOMEIT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR ME TO WALK THROUGH MY GHETTO NEIGHBORHOOD ALONE. ALSO I HAVE THIS NAGGING THOUGHT, THAT JUST WONT GO AWAY. WELL I SUPPOSE THIS THOUGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN MY HEAD, IT JUST WASNT AS PREVELANT AS IT NOW, SINCE ABOUT DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR. I WONT SPEAK OF THIS THOUGHT, I CANT REVEAL MY WHOLE CRAZY! THAT WOULDNT BE ANY FUN... BUT THIS THOUGHT, FOR NOW IS ONLY A THOUGHT, WHO KNOWS IF IT CAN TURN INTO SOMETHING REAL. IT WAS REAL ONCE. BUT IT'S NOT UP TO ME TO THINGS REAL I SUPPOSE. I CAN ONLY TRY TO NUDGE THINGS ALONG. ALONG WITH THIS THOUGHT COMES REGRET. WHICH IS NEW TO ME, BECAUSE I RARELY REGRET CHOICES I MAKE EVEN IF THEY HAVN'T LEAD ME DOWN THE PATH I PLANNED. FOR INSTANCE
I DONT REGRET
STOPPING COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH BY NOW I COULD HAVE BEEN DONE, AND NOT WORKING THIS SHITTY JOB(WHICH LIKE I SAID REALLY ISNT THAT SHITTY, BUT I TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED)
GETTING MY FIRST TATTOO IN VENICE BY SOME CRAZY ASIAN LADY WHO DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO TATTOO,
MOVING OUT ON MY OWN, EVEN THOUGH IM NOT LIVING THE RICHEST LIFE I COULD BE, BUT FOR MY SITUATION I THINK IM DOING PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
LIVING LIFE HOW EVER THE FUCK I WANT, BECAUSE IF I DIE TOMORROW AND THE DAY I DIED I WAS DOING SOMETHING I DIDNT WANT TO DO, ID BE SO PISSED!
THINGS I DO REGRET
JUST THAT ONE THING.
WHICH ACTUALLY BOILS DOWN TO ABOUT 10 THINGS, BUT I AM COUNTING IT AS ONE GIANT REGRET.
CHEERS!