Christ.
It would be game day, which for those of you who don't know means that All Cars Must Be Moved Out Of Athletic Department Parking Lots Right This Instant Or Else. And you don't get to call the parking attendant a moron, either, or you get disciplinary action. Even so, I think "moron" is rather polite of me, given that my preferred phrase is "fucking moron".
Oh, yes, and a list of things that completely shit me.
--Ladies: when the tampon people say "do not flush" on the package, they really mean DO NOT FLUSH. Oh, yeah, and would it kill you to pick up your used menstrual products and put them in the wastebasket? Yes, I wish all the bathroom stalls had handy wastebaskets, too, but come on, we're all in college. All you have to do is wrap the fucking thing up and toss it. It takes all of 15 seconds. It's goddamn nasty to leave it lying around on the toilet seat. I hope nobody thinks the rest of us want to see that.
--Oh yeah, and would you please flush the toilet, too? Contrary to what you might think, this is not solely a male problem. Being forced to look at your shit is almost as unappealing as being forced to look at your discarded uterine lining.
--Dear troglodytic Midwesterners, please stop driving at night with your fucking brights on. There are situations when it is acceptable to use brights. On a clear night with no precipitation is not one of them. Particularly, please stop TAILGATING ME at night with your fucking brights on, because 1.) it blinds me, 2.) I'm probably going the speed limit, or not much slower, anyway, and 3.) it doesn't make me go faster, and it might make me go slower, depending on how annoyed I am with your persistence in tailgating me.
--Also, if you are an asshole tailgater, and you want to speed up and pass me, honking at me when you do so is NOT NECESSARY, particularly when the speed limit is 55 and I'm doing 50.
Okay, I'm off to Move My Car Right Now Or Else.
Oh, yes, and a list of things that completely shit me.
--Ladies: when the tampon people say "do not flush" on the package, they really mean DO NOT FLUSH. Oh, yeah, and would it kill you to pick up your used menstrual products and put them in the wastebasket? Yes, I wish all the bathroom stalls had handy wastebaskets, too, but come on, we're all in college. All you have to do is wrap the fucking thing up and toss it. It takes all of 15 seconds. It's goddamn nasty to leave it lying around on the toilet seat. I hope nobody thinks the rest of us want to see that.
--Oh yeah, and would you please flush the toilet, too? Contrary to what you might think, this is not solely a male problem. Being forced to look at your shit is almost as unappealing as being forced to look at your discarded uterine lining.
--Dear troglodytic Midwesterners, please stop driving at night with your fucking brights on. There are situations when it is acceptable to use brights. On a clear night with no precipitation is not one of them. Particularly, please stop TAILGATING ME at night with your fucking brights on, because 1.) it blinds me, 2.) I'm probably going the speed limit, or not much slower, anyway, and 3.) it doesn't make me go faster, and it might make me go slower, depending on how annoyed I am with your persistence in tailgating me.
--Also, if you are an asshole tailgater, and you want to speed up and pass me, honking at me when you do so is NOT NECESSARY, particularly when the speed limit is 55 and I'm doing 50.
Okay, I'm off to Move My Car Right Now Or Else.