The Latter Days Of The Law

Jul 03, 2011 21:38

TEETH update:
I had the Panorex on Friday morning. Thankfully, I didn't fudge it and the surgeon was able to take a look at it, from which I learned the following:
+ I have all four of my wisdom teeth. (REALLY??? I THOUGHT I JUST HAD A LOT OF TEETH. What planet are these people living on where it is considered normal for adults to not have all their wisdom teeth?)
+ The teeth on my right side are impacted. (This was news to me, as the top one has erupted and I assumed it would be unable to do so if it were impacted, but apparently it is not fully erupted. The bottom one has not erupted and it may never, I don't know. Either way, they're not bothering me.)
+ The surgeon would like to have a consultation to discuss our options. In the real world, this is going to be a lot of hurf blurf blurf about impaction lerp derp derp YOU WILL BE IN HORRIBLE PAAAYYYYYNE hurr blurr a blu a blu GIVE ME MONEY AND I WILL CUT OUT YOUR TEETH AND LIBERATE YOU FROM HORRIBLE PAAAAYYYYYYYYYNE gabble gabble gabble rhubarb rhubarb. In my imagination, this scene would be played much better like this:

Oral Surgeon: l33, I must be straight with you. I have purchased a Ferrari. If I remove all of your wisdom teeth, thus driving up the price, I will be able to make this month's payment. If I only remove two of them, my Ferrari may be repossessed. I do not want to lose my Ferrari.
l33: Why'd you buy a car you can't afford, son?
Oral Surgeon: ...Um, also some stuff about impaction and pain and misalignment. Yes.
l33: I guess the repo man is going to have to pay you a visit, then.
Oral Surgeon: YOU TREAT ME BAD YOU UPPITY BITCH AND IT DON'T MATTER TO YOU D: D: DDDDD:

Also: "Pain", for me, is usually analogous to HELP I AM BEING CUT IN HALF BY A BUZZ SAW. Things that happen in my mouth, unless they interfere with my normal routine as did the Rotting of January '11, generally qualify as "discomfort", and I deal with discomfort by either working through it or going to sleep. It does not however merit such things as painkillers. Even the Possibly Fractured Leg of June '06, while an unpleasant experience that I do not wish to relive, was not something I would have called painful. This is my personal scale only and it is not meant to apply to you, by the way.
+ I will need to wait another month before coming in for a consultation, because that is as soon as the oral surgeon can see me. They might call me if they have a cancellation before then, but I'm not holding my breath.

I hope this is not going to be a shitawful experience, but I'm afraid it will be, because the world of teeth seems to attract an awful lot of assholes. (Yes, I am referring to the orthodontist I saw briefly in high school.) I like my dentist and I trust he wouldn't steer me wrong, but my experience with teeth is generally that you can expect people to judge you if your wishes are unconventional and as I am abnormal there is quite a lot about me to judge. Also, it shits me that, despite the fact that I am shelling out huge amounts of MY MONEY, as in NOT THE SURGEON'S, to allow him to drill into MY SKULL, as in, again, NOT HIS, it is seldom thought necessary to accommodate my wishes.

Well, unbeknownst to Dr Oral Surgeon, this is how we're going to play this, because if you are going to violate my bodily integrity and then expect to be paid for it, I will slit you stem to stern if you so much as fart in a direction not specifically authorized by me for farting. Sorry. She who has the gold makes the rules. This is what happens when we treat medicine as a consumer service.
1.) I will listen to what Dr Oral Surgeon has to say about my impacted right-side wisdom teeth, as a courtesy because noblesse oblige, but will not authorize them to be removed or otherwise interfered with. The left-side wisdom teeth are the problematic ones and must go, little as I like this. If the right teeth bother me at a later date, I will make the appropriate arrangements when that happens, but as the erupted upper molar is healthy and the lower molar has not erupted and gives me no cause to believe that it is trying to do so, it is not necessary to remove them at this time.
2.) Stock yap about how the only acceptable anaesthesia is local, because my insurance company will not pay for anything else absent medical necessity, and I will not pay for a service that I consider to be without value.
3.) Stock yap about painkillers and how there's no actual question of my having that prescription filled.
4.) Stock yap about money. Also, I expect to be provided with an estimate prior to making any arrangements for surgery. If this estimate is not to my liking, this is not the only Dr Oral Surgeon in Evansville.

X-chan is here! She came up yesterday and we went out to Iwataya for dinner last night, where I had the sushi and sashimi platter. Omg raw fish so goooooooood. :9 (Lolmom does not care for raw fish, which I love, and I don't like to go to decent restaurants by myself. IHOP or Denny's is one thing, as are lunch spots and fast food, but if it's the kind of place where I'm actually going for the food, I like to have someone with me. I'm just odd that way.)

Watched Samurai Assassin. The ending, where my manic boyfriend is holding the severed head of Ii Naosuke (who, unbeknownst to him, is his biological father) on the end of his sword and shouting I WON'T GIVE IT UP FOR LESS THAN 200 KOKU, ACTUALLY THAT'S KIND OF LOW LET'S MAKE IT AT LEAST 300 KOKU is, like, one of the greatest and also most chilling things of all time. OF ALL TIME.

duokinneas, I heard there might be pr0n this weekend!

om nom nom toshiro mifune, stupid teeth, culinary adventures, writing, x-chan, omg talyn, movies, lolmom, madame lee don't play that

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