Lo, The Appraiser Cometh
Srry gaiz for the bait and switch. I know I promised some other stuff (for the three of you who care about the makeup I bought and the hilarious letter I got from the county Republican headquarters), but this is what I have right now so you're stuck with it. Also I just looked at the pictures I took for the makeup post and they're horrible. This has nothing to do with my lack of attractiveness; they're objectively horrible by any standard, as in the quality is poor and you can't see what the hell I'm talking about in half of them. BAHLEET TRY AGAIN. So yeah, that's going to be further delayed. Again, I'm sure this is only of interest to two or three people.
The lolmom has applied to refinance the house in order to take advantage of a lower mortgage rate and save about $200 a month. As part of the process, a real estate appraiser has to come out to the house. We are deeply concerned about the porch roof (status: leaky, will cave in and kill the next person who steps out there if not replaced) and the lolmom's bathroom (status of shower liner: leaky, will eventually cause kitchen ceiling to cave in amidst huge gouts of water if not replaced). The last time the lolmom refinanced, the appraiser just walked around the outside of the house, then came in and asked her about the living room fireplace.
Not this time. This time, the appraiser has to come inside and take pictures. The lolmom works third shift and is usually asleep until at least noon, which precludes the appraiser's appearance in the morning. Her initial Clever Ruse involved putting the appraiser off until Monday; he kept making noises about coming today, but was detained in Newburgh, and since I had to be at work by 3:30 and the lolmom had to leave for work at 4, she decided if he called after 2 p.m. he would be denied. We have yet to hear from him but suspect he may show up on Monday, and are trying to get the house to look like we occasionally clean. I picked up in the den and took out the trash, and the kitchen and downstairs bathroom look really nice thanks to the lolmom's efforts. (Of course, we both used the shower and I just made a pumpkin tart in the kitchen, so God knows how long that'll last.)
Which provides a nice segue into our next feature, actually.
The lolmom loves pumpkin and basically turns into a hyperactive three-year-old at the very mention of pumpkin anything, since it is in season and she can now buy mass quantities as opposed to one or two cans at a time. I made pumpkin chocolate chip bread a couple of weeks ago, and threatened to unleash an unstoppable barrage of pumpkin crap to such an extent that she will never crave pumpkin again. The lolmom claims that this is not possible. To test this hypothesis, I am sifting through our huge collection of cooking magazines and cookbooks, with the goal of churning out as much pumpkin crap as I possibly can. Tonight, I made a hazelnut pecan-ginger pumpkin tart, and also in the process lrnd2use the food portrait setting on my camera. :D
As ever, this isn't a walkthrough of the recipe, though if you want it let me know and I'll put it up.
So you start with premade pie crust and bake it for 10 minutes. I am the ur-klutz, so managed to break it when I was getting it out of its wrapper. On the other hand, it's just going to go on the bottom of the tart and be eaten anyway. Really, the crust is the least important bit.
Then you dump some pumpkin and some ricotta cheese and some milk and an egg and some vanilla and sugar and spices in the food processor and hit Pulse until you're happy with how smooth it is. The recipe calls for pumpkin pie spice, which we don't keep on hand, so I raided the spice closet and shook cloves, nutmeg, ginger, and cinnamon into it, and the end result when I sampled it was pretty good. I recommend caution if you're new to this, though, because it's much easier to put spices in than to take them out.
Here's the filled pie crust. But wait! We're not done yet!
This is where I was playing with camera settings and discovered the food portraiture feature. :D Lolmom went to St. Louis last weekend to visit a friend, and they went to World Market and picked up the best candied ginger ever-moist, sticky with sugar, and bitingly gingery. Seriously, I would eat that shit like candy if I could get away with it. I used a couple of pieces for the topping and cannibalized an older stock for the remainder. The other topping ingredients consist of brown sugar and pecans. (The original recipe calls for hazelnuts, but we have none and I couldn't find any.)
Sprinkle the topping over the tart and bake that shit for 45 minutes.
PROFIT!!!!
This concludes yet another tedious episode of Blurry l33 Theatre. :D
The lolmom has applied to refinance the house in order to take advantage of a lower mortgage rate and save about $200 a month. As part of the process, a real estate appraiser has to come out to the house. We are deeply concerned about the porch roof (status: leaky, will cave in and kill the next person who steps out there if not replaced) and the lolmom's bathroom (status of shower liner: leaky, will eventually cause kitchen ceiling to cave in amidst huge gouts of water if not replaced). The last time the lolmom refinanced, the appraiser just walked around the outside of the house, then came in and asked her about the living room fireplace.
Not this time. This time, the appraiser has to come inside and take pictures. The lolmom works third shift and is usually asleep until at least noon, which precludes the appraiser's appearance in the morning. Her initial Clever Ruse involved putting the appraiser off until Monday; he kept making noises about coming today, but was detained in Newburgh, and since I had to be at work by 3:30 and the lolmom had to leave for work at 4, she decided if he called after 2 p.m. he would be denied. We have yet to hear from him but suspect he may show up on Monday, and are trying to get the house to look like we occasionally clean. I picked up in the den and took out the trash, and the kitchen and downstairs bathroom look really nice thanks to the lolmom's efforts. (Of course, we both used the shower and I just made a pumpkin tart in the kitchen, so God knows how long that'll last.)
Which provides a nice segue into our next feature, actually.
The lolmom loves pumpkin and basically turns into a hyperactive three-year-old at the very mention of pumpkin anything, since it is in season and she can now buy mass quantities as opposed to one or two cans at a time. I made pumpkin chocolate chip bread a couple of weeks ago, and threatened to unleash an unstoppable barrage of pumpkin crap to such an extent that she will never crave pumpkin again. The lolmom claims that this is not possible. To test this hypothesis, I am sifting through our huge collection of cooking magazines and cookbooks, with the goal of churning out as much pumpkin crap as I possibly can. Tonight, I made a hazelnut pecan-ginger pumpkin tart, and also in the process lrnd2use the food portrait setting on my camera. :D
As ever, this isn't a walkthrough of the recipe, though if you want it let me know and I'll put it up.
So you start with premade pie crust and bake it for 10 minutes. I am the ur-klutz, so managed to break it when I was getting it out of its wrapper. On the other hand, it's just going to go on the bottom of the tart and be eaten anyway. Really, the crust is the least important bit.
Then you dump some pumpkin and some ricotta cheese and some milk and an egg and some vanilla and sugar and spices in the food processor and hit Pulse until you're happy with how smooth it is. The recipe calls for pumpkin pie spice, which we don't keep on hand, so I raided the spice closet and shook cloves, nutmeg, ginger, and cinnamon into it, and the end result when I sampled it was pretty good. I recommend caution if you're new to this, though, because it's much easier to put spices in than to take them out.
Here's the filled pie crust. But wait! We're not done yet!
This is where I was playing with camera settings and discovered the food portraiture feature. :D Lolmom went to St. Louis last weekend to visit a friend, and they went to World Market and picked up the best candied ginger ever-moist, sticky with sugar, and bitingly gingery. Seriously, I would eat that shit like candy if I could get away with it. I used a couple of pieces for the topping and cannibalized an older stock for the remainder. The other topping ingredients consist of brown sugar and pecans. (The original recipe calls for hazelnuts, but we have none and I couldn't find any.)
Sprinkle the topping over the tart and bake that shit for 45 minutes.
PROFIT!!!!
This concludes yet another tedious episode of Blurry l33 Theatre. :D