Hey, It's Almost Midnight
I am trying not to feel too much self-loathing in this entry, even though this is an emotion that comes very easily to me, because it's even less interesting than my regular commentary and who wants to read people beating up on themselves all the time.
I accomplished absolutely nothing today, aside from
a.) clean pants
b.) a fuckton of veggie burgers, which took forever to make and have served as a reminder of why I hate forming patties (they never stick together or fall apart when I'm trying to cook them or both), but which will hopefully be delicious
c.) scheduling a physical, which I guess is an accomplishment since I haven't been to the doctor in a couple-three years since I haven't had insurance in a couple-three years. I am feeling trepidated about this, less because of my doctor (whom I like) than because I'm scared shitless of finding out that I have something horribly wrong.
Apropos of the above, some TMI:
I know I need to have some form of estrogen, probably in the form of the Pill, because of the PCOS which fucks with the old hormone levels. (A couple of you ladies know what I'm talking about AMIRITE.) I also want some form of long-term birth control, not that I'm getting all that much action right now, but I don't want children and therefore it is my responsibility (and any male partner's, obviously) to avoid conceiving them as much as is within my power. (Look, the fact that I'm not against abortion doesn't translate to my wanting to have one.) Ideally, the long-term birth control in question would be Essure, which is a permanent and irreversible sterilization procedure, but that costs between $1500 and $3K which I don't have right now. I don't want a ligation because a.) it is, in theory, reversible, b.) it has a slightly higher failure rate than Essure, and c.) I am scared shitless of dying under anaesthesia. (For the three people who don't know, I've never had any kind of surgery, even something relatively minor and routine, and have never been under general anaesthesia.)
On the other hand, I'm crap at remembering to take a pill (the metformin is one thing because it has to be taken with food) on a daily basis, especially because I don't have a consistent schedule right now. And the estrogen gives me BAD mood swings. Like, "I-want-to-pitch-myself-off-a-bridge" bad. I'm self-aware enough that I realize it's due to the estrogen (when I'm off the estrogen, I have plain old regular depression), but it still doesn't feel good and I don't know what to do about it other than stop the meds. I hate what it turns me into; I don't feel much sympathy towards weepy, sensitive people, and I damn sure don't want to be one of them, even if it's only for a couple of days each month. (Yeah, around That Time Of The Month.) Also, if I'm off the estrogen, my risk for breast cancer may be reduced (it's in the family, and it's an estrogen-sensitive disease). Of course, there are no guarantees ever, and I'm at risk for breast cancer by virtue of having breasts, so I may be fucked anyway.
TL;DR: I need the estrogen and like the physical effects, menstruation aside, but hate the psychological effects. I wonder if Norplant or Depo will get the job done.
I had been planning to go to PSG tonight, finally, but there was a shitton of fog and it was dark, which is not a good combination. It wasn't the worst fog I've ever driven in, but it was enough to make me say SHIT I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA and turn around once I hit Chandler (next town over).
Oh, and I'm re-reading Mythology (Edith Hamilton), which was one of my favorites as a kid (and now). As an adult, revisiting the introduction is interesting; it's a little dated, since theories of what myths are for have changed over time, and there's been a lot more in the way of anthropological treatments of Greek religion. Still, this book on the whole has aged really well for me.
Finally (last but not least): Happy birthday, bardsong!
I accomplished absolutely nothing today, aside from
a.) clean pants
b.) a fuckton of veggie burgers, which took forever to make and have served as a reminder of why I hate forming patties (they never stick together or fall apart when I'm trying to cook them or both), but which will hopefully be delicious
c.) scheduling a physical, which I guess is an accomplishment since I haven't been to the doctor in a couple-three years since I haven't had insurance in a couple-three years. I am feeling trepidated about this, less because of my doctor (whom I like) than because I'm scared shitless of finding out that I have something horribly wrong.
Apropos of the above, some TMI:
I know I need to have some form of estrogen, probably in the form of the Pill, because of the PCOS which fucks with the old hormone levels. (A couple of you ladies know what I'm talking about AMIRITE.) I also want some form of long-term birth control, not that I'm getting all that much action right now, but I don't want children and therefore it is my responsibility (and any male partner's, obviously) to avoid conceiving them as much as is within my power. (Look, the fact that I'm not against abortion doesn't translate to my wanting to have one.) Ideally, the long-term birth control in question would be Essure, which is a permanent and irreversible sterilization procedure, but that costs between $1500 and $3K which I don't have right now. I don't want a ligation because a.) it is, in theory, reversible, b.) it has a slightly higher failure rate than Essure, and c.) I am scared shitless of dying under anaesthesia. (For the three people who don't know, I've never had any kind of surgery, even something relatively minor and routine, and have never been under general anaesthesia.)
On the other hand, I'm crap at remembering to take a pill (the metformin is one thing because it has to be taken with food) on a daily basis, especially because I don't have a consistent schedule right now. And the estrogen gives me BAD mood swings. Like, "I-want-to-pitch-myself-off-a-bridge" bad. I'm self-aware enough that I realize it's due to the estrogen (when I'm off the estrogen, I have plain old regular depression), but it still doesn't feel good and I don't know what to do about it other than stop the meds. I hate what it turns me into; I don't feel much sympathy towards weepy, sensitive people, and I damn sure don't want to be one of them, even if it's only for a couple of days each month. (Yeah, around That Time Of The Month.) Also, if I'm off the estrogen, my risk for breast cancer may be reduced (it's in the family, and it's an estrogen-sensitive disease). Of course, there are no guarantees ever, and I'm at risk for breast cancer by virtue of having breasts, so I may be fucked anyway.
TL;DR: I need the estrogen and like the physical effects, menstruation aside, but hate the psychological effects. I wonder if Norplant or Depo will get the job done.
I had been planning to go to PSG tonight, finally, but there was a shitton of fog and it was dark, which is not a good combination. It wasn't the worst fog I've ever driven in, but it was enough to make me say SHIT I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA and turn around once I hit Chandler (next town over).
Oh, and I'm re-reading Mythology (Edith Hamilton), which was one of my favorites as a kid (and now). As an adult, revisiting the introduction is interesting; it's a little dated, since theories of what myths are for have changed over time, and there's been a lot more in the way of anthropological treatments of Greek religion. Still, this book on the whole has aged really well for me.
Finally (last but not least): Happy birthday, bardsong!