Colon Blow
For the benefit of carlosoliveira: lolol my brain, it took a dump. I promise this post will explain the reference to huge bowel movements in my Twitter feed.
Job search update: Got a letter from Massive Health Plans people saying they received my resumé and will be in touch. Also got a call from Title Company The Size Of Finland, inquiring about my background; the position that they're hiring for is a Title Gibbon, which requires certain specialized experience that I don't have. I was tempted to say "well why didn't you put that in the goshfucked ad then Sparky", but forbore; they might call me about possibly interviewing for a Title Monkey, which I interviewed for last year and did not get. They also asked if I would be interested in temporary work; I said I would definitely not rule it out but was reluctant, which opinion I think I will redact, given that I think Lol-Mart would be willing to work with me about hours, and any experience is good experience. I make no guarantees as to things that might or might not happen if I have to stay at Lolly World for much longer, nor as to how much responsibility I might or might not take for them.
(It's not that I actually hate being at the 'Mart, though I really dislike a lot of Lol-Mart's culture and business practices; it's more that my job is basically meaningless, unfulfilling, and otherwise a Gateway to Nowhere. Most of the time, I am able to maintain a total lack of emotional investment.)
Writing and fic update, for the three people to whom this might be of interest: I should delete deliciouspastry and just start posting fic here, under a cut or on a special filter so you can skip my shitfic if you want. (I'd probably postdate entries to move all the old fic here, rather than bahleeting it altogether.) Y/N? (Several reasons for this: The Pastry doesn't get used very often. Also, when I'm updating in communities, it's a pain in the ass to log out of this account, log into the Pastry, and then log back in here.)
Miscellaneous crap update:
+ Callice hates cats, as the furry bastards are always getting in her yard and climbing her trees and coming up on her porch. Heat season seems to have begun for the local stray cats, judging by the amount of howling we occasionally hear at night. Callice was a signatory to the Cat Non-Proliferation Treaty of 2005, and spends much of her time patrolling the living room to make sure that cats cannot be seen. I wish she would also ratify the Cat Urine Non-Proliferation And Containment Treaty, but sometimes she still has to be chased to her box (she has done a lot better about using it, though).
+ I just finished The Proud Tower by Barbara Tuchman. I feel a little sad, because I suspect I found it at the wrong age; I enjoyed it, and I'd definitely read it again or buy a copy, but when I was 15 I would have been head over heels for it.
+ Not eating red meat has been really great in that a lot of junk food I used to go overboard with (pizza, frozen White Castles) is now off-limits. It has been less really great in that, when I want junk food, I overcompensate by going for all the other crap I shouldn't be eating.
+ I was stocking the cigarettes the other night, because hell, someone's gotta do it, and I'm damn sure not going to go out looking for customers at 9:30 at night, and was taking apart an empty carton of Liggett Full Flavor 100s when I happened to see the ingredient list. Apparently everything contains high-fructose corn syrup these days. I am not making this up, srsly. Why is the failed Obama administration doing nothing to break the power of the high-fructose corn syrup lobby?
+ Because it's one of those things where some explanation is required: I apparently clicked on an ad by accident, which brought me to this lovely screen. The testimonial is on your left-hand side and states proudly, "I am only 2 days in and I just had a huge bowel movement." What makes it extra-disturbing is that the Web designer chose a picture of a smiling man for this. Because having a huge bowel movement is, apparently, cause for glee. (On the off chance you believe this nonsense: While dietary fiber is your friend, it is not true that you have pounds and pounds of impacted fecal matter sitting around in your gut making you fat and sick. In fact, less than one pound of the aforementioned impacted fecal matter would bring itself to your attention because YOU WOULD BE IN PAIN and medical intervention would probably be necessary. Cleansing your colon is not the Golden Portal to Health and Weight Loss.)
+ H wrote. We are, eerily, on the same wavelength, which always surprises me and always makes me glad.
+ It snowed and then it sleeted and it now appears to be in the process of snowing more. The lolmom stayed home today because the roads in the county where she works (two counties over) typically suck ass, and she didn't want to spend two hours driving to work just to find that nobody had come in and she was trapped there overnight. Snow is really pretty when you don't have to be out in it, as I don't on account of I'm off today and tomorrow, and I'm not scheduled until 4:30 on Thurs.
+ Confidential to the_dark_snack: Sorry, I didn't get a chance to ask your question last week. D:
+ Uh, I think that's everything, then.
Job search update: Got a letter from Massive Health Plans people saying they received my resumé and will be in touch. Also got a call from Title Company The Size Of Finland, inquiring about my background; the position that they're hiring for is a Title Gibbon, which requires certain specialized experience that I don't have. I was tempted to say "well why didn't you put that in the goshfucked ad then Sparky", but forbore; they might call me about possibly interviewing for a Title Monkey, which I interviewed for last year and did not get. They also asked if I would be interested in temporary work; I said I would definitely not rule it out but was reluctant, which opinion I think I will redact, given that I think Lol-Mart would be willing to work with me about hours, and any experience is good experience. I make no guarantees as to things that might or might not happen if I have to stay at Lolly World for much longer, nor as to how much responsibility I might or might not take for them.
(It's not that I actually hate being at the 'Mart, though I really dislike a lot of Lol-Mart's culture and business practices; it's more that my job is basically meaningless, unfulfilling, and otherwise a Gateway to Nowhere. Most of the time, I am able to maintain a total lack of emotional investment.)
Writing and fic update, for the three people to whom this might be of interest: I should delete deliciouspastry and just start posting fic here, under a cut or on a special filter so you can skip my shitfic if you want. (I'd probably postdate entries to move all the old fic here, rather than bahleeting it altogether.) Y/N? (Several reasons for this: The Pastry doesn't get used very often. Also, when I'm updating in communities, it's a pain in the ass to log out of this account, log into the Pastry, and then log back in here.)
Miscellaneous crap update:
+ Callice hates cats, as the furry bastards are always getting in her yard and climbing her trees and coming up on her porch. Heat season seems to have begun for the local stray cats, judging by the amount of howling we occasionally hear at night. Callice was a signatory to the Cat Non-Proliferation Treaty of 2005, and spends much of her time patrolling the living room to make sure that cats cannot be seen. I wish she would also ratify the Cat Urine Non-Proliferation And Containment Treaty, but sometimes she still has to be chased to her box (she has done a lot better about using it, though).
+ I just finished The Proud Tower by Barbara Tuchman. I feel a little sad, because I suspect I found it at the wrong age; I enjoyed it, and I'd definitely read it again or buy a copy, but when I was 15 I would have been head over heels for it.
+ Not eating red meat has been really great in that a lot of junk food I used to go overboard with (pizza, frozen White Castles) is now off-limits. It has been less really great in that, when I want junk food, I overcompensate by going for all the other crap I shouldn't be eating.
+ I was stocking the cigarettes the other night, because hell, someone's gotta do it, and I'm damn sure not going to go out looking for customers at 9:30 at night, and was taking apart an empty carton of Liggett Full Flavor 100s when I happened to see the ingredient list. Apparently everything contains high-fructose corn syrup these days. I am not making this up, srsly. Why is the failed Obama administration doing nothing to break the power of the high-fructose corn syrup lobby?
+ Because it's one of those things where some explanation is required: I apparently clicked on an ad by accident, which brought me to this lovely screen. The testimonial is on your left-hand side and states proudly, "I am only 2 days in and I just had a huge bowel movement." What makes it extra-disturbing is that the Web designer chose a picture of a smiling man for this. Because having a huge bowel movement is, apparently, cause for glee. (On the off chance you believe this nonsense: While dietary fiber is your friend, it is not true that you have pounds and pounds of impacted fecal matter sitting around in your gut making you fat and sick. In fact, less than one pound of the aforementioned impacted fecal matter would bring itself to your attention because YOU WOULD BE IN PAIN and medical intervention would probably be necessary. Cleansing your colon is not the Golden Portal to Health and Weight Loss.)
+ H wrote. We are, eerily, on the same wavelength, which always surprises me and always makes me glad.
+ It snowed and then it sleeted and it now appears to be in the process of snowing more. The lolmom stayed home today because the roads in the county where she works (two counties over) typically suck ass, and she didn't want to spend two hours driving to work just to find that nobody had come in and she was trapped there overnight. Snow is really pretty when you don't have to be out in it, as I don't on account of I'm off today and tomorrow, and I'm not scheduled until 4:30 on Thurs.
+ Confidential to the_dark_snack: Sorry, I didn't get a chance to ask your question last week. D:
+ Uh, I think that's everything, then.