(no subject)
I sometimes secretly dream I stumble upon my brother somewhere, someday. I still can not come to terms with his death 10 years later. I dream that I will run into him at Dunkin Donuts, or the mall or just walking down the street. He will say I had to run for reasons I can never explain, but I want to be back in your life. We will cry and hug and everything will be all better. But it is not true. It will never happen. And it hurts. Will it always hurt? Will I ever come to terms with this?
Everything in my life is changing. I am scared. But I think I love where I am going. I feel so strong lately. I am taking charge of what I want and what I need. I am putting myself first for once.
