I'm pretty blessed.
For as much as I complain, I'm pretty well off. I'm kind of convicted about a lot of stuff lately and I need to make some changes. I'm tired of making bad decisions and hurting myself and others in the process. I'm upset at myself for the way I handled the situation with my now ex-girlfriend - it had to end, but I wish it would have ended better - I didn't mean to hurt her like I did - and I'm so very sorry that I did. I hung out with Tony today and we talked - it was the first time I've been completely and totally honest with someone in a long time. With everyone else I feel like I have to dumb it down and just scratch the surface, but Tony and I - we kind of get eachother. I'm gonna miss him 'til he gets back home again.
About the show last night. I'm really happy for Tony - he followed his heart and it looked bleak for a while, but he ended up in a great place.
I'm not sure what I think about hardcore in general right now. Everyone's trying to run everyone else off. All this "we don't need you" and "get the fuck out" has me wondering what its all about. Becuase I thought it was about being open to other ideas, but a rift has opened up. There are two sides in a lot of cases and the Christians and the nonChristians are just taking pot shots at eachother. Its sad really. Granted, there are a some exceptions, but I can't remember the last time I've been to a show and I didn't hear something that made me sad - people are so hateful.
Personally, my belief is that Jesus is my savior - I love him for what I believe he did for me. But I'm not going to start a fight or a shouting match with you if you don't believe what I do. I realize that from a million people's viewpoints - I'm insane for believeing what I do, but there's something about my life that makes me beileve in spite of the fact that it seems crazy.
I don't know if anyone will read this - its really long and it doesn't have any bold text or pictures on it, but I would just honestly like to challenge everyone that reads this... to come together whether or not you believe in God or not. Punk/Hardcore is a place for all ideas - lets not kick eachother out of harcore - lets kick hate out of hardcore. I'm guilty of it just as much as anyone else. The other day at underoath I got in a fight with some kid and at the time I justified it, but now I feel stupid and immature for it. So what - he tried to get in a shoving match with my back and tried to trip me - i should have given the dude a hug and told him that whatever insecurities he was taking out on me weren't so bad, but unfortunately I guess I had my own insecurities and I turned swinging. We've got bigger enemies than that dude in the pit that can't dance, or the kid in the pit thats just there to hurt someone - or the kids that hate god, or the kids that love god. Its so rediculous. We have bigger issues.
The streets are teeming with crooked cops and backwards politicians. George Bush is sending Americans to their death and sending the middle east to hell in our name and in the name of a God he obviously has no grasp on. My God is a God of love - not of hate, facism, death, lies, and war.
About the show last night. I'm really happy for Tony - he followed his heart and it looked bleak for a while, but he ended up in a great place.
I'm not sure what I think about hardcore in general right now. Everyone's trying to run everyone else off. All this "we don't need you" and "get the fuck out" has me wondering what its all about. Becuase I thought it was about being open to other ideas, but a rift has opened up. There are two sides in a lot of cases and the Christians and the nonChristians are just taking pot shots at eachother. Its sad really. Granted, there are a some exceptions, but I can't remember the last time I've been to a show and I didn't hear something that made me sad - people are so hateful.
Personally, my belief is that Jesus is my savior - I love him for what I believe he did for me. But I'm not going to start a fight or a shouting match with you if you don't believe what I do. I realize that from a million people's viewpoints - I'm insane for believeing what I do, but there's something about my life that makes me beileve in spite of the fact that it seems crazy.
I don't know if anyone will read this - its really long and it doesn't have any bold text or pictures on it, but I would just honestly like to challenge everyone that reads this... to come together whether or not you believe in God or not. Punk/Hardcore is a place for all ideas - lets not kick eachother out of harcore - lets kick hate out of hardcore. I'm guilty of it just as much as anyone else. The other day at underoath I got in a fight with some kid and at the time I justified it, but now I feel stupid and immature for it. So what - he tried to get in a shoving match with my back and tried to trip me - i should have given the dude a hug and told him that whatever insecurities he was taking out on me weren't so bad, but unfortunately I guess I had my own insecurities and I turned swinging. We've got bigger enemies than that dude in the pit that can't dance, or the kid in the pit thats just there to hurt someone - or the kids that hate god, or the kids that love god. Its so rediculous. We have bigger issues.
The streets are teeming with crooked cops and backwards politicians. George Bush is sending Americans to their death and sending the middle east to hell in our name and in the name of a God he obviously has no grasp on. My God is a God of love - not of hate, facism, death, lies, and war.