The Great Cell Phone Caper

[sinecure]

Title: The Great Cell Phone Caper (2/5)
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Jeff/Annie, Chang (misc. characters make small appearances)
Rating: PG-13-ish. Later chapters are rated R (adult)
Word Count: 4,227
Genre: Humor, romance, smut, slight angst
Spoilers: Early season 3, before the hiatus.
Summary: Annie's cell phone gets locked away and she plans a break-in to retrieve it. Jeff catches on to her plans and goes to stop her, but gets roped into helping instead.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community and I make no money off of it.
A/N: So, the Community Big Bang is here! This is my entry, through much blood, sweat, tears, and whinging.
A/N 2: Big, huge thanks to na_thalia for the beta--all mistakes are mine, don't blame her--and teruel_a_witch for the support and shoulder to whinge on.


CHAPTER 2

Jeff rolled his eyes as Annie ran the last few feet to the admin building, ponytail swinging behind her. She kept darting glances around, checking for observers, though she missed him every single time. He'd driven to the school just before dark, parked at the corner of the street, almost out of view of the school, and waited.

Just after the sun let go its last gasp of light, Annie's car pulled into the lot, as he'd known it would.

She hadn't seen his car, which just made him shake his head.

Observant.

Another ridiculous mistake was parking in the lot, though he had to give her points for parking at the back, deep in the shadows, and not beneath one of the streetlights. Although, that would've been safer.

A minute passed before she got out and quietly shut her car door.

She was dressed head to toe in black, including gloves. He was pretty sure she was wearing a twin of the black body suit she'd worn for her Dia de los Muertos party, minus the glaringly white bones. As she turned to the side, staring at the admin building, he was able to see just how very tightly it clung to her skin and had a moment in which he needed to take a breath.

To just breathe naturally, not shallowly and harshly like his lungs tried to make him do.

After a few seconds, he got a handle on the lust. Controlled it like usual. Just like he always did.

He drew in a deep breath as Annie suddenly crouched down beside her car, then darted across the lot, heading straight toward the admin building. Once there, she dove into the bushes, legs and feet disappearing last.

A short bark of laughter left him when her head popped up a second later, darting this way and that, like a Whack-A-Mole gone rogue, though they rarely had ponytails that slapped them in the face.

She was stealthy, too.

Getting out of his car with a sigh, he headed across the lot, sticking to the shadows as much as he could, but not snaking around like Annie had. He felt ridiculous enough having to come here to stop her from breaking into the school. Although, really, his perception of what was ridiculous in relation to what was sane was much more warped than it used to be since starting Greendale.

He made it to the administration building just as Annie started fiddling with the window. It looked like she had her student ID out and was trying to slide it under the bottom of the window, which was just above a height that was within comfortable range.

A smirk lifted his lips as he approached.

He stopped a few yards away, amusement washing over him. The sight of Annie trying to pick a window lock with an outdated tool given the newer windows, and the fact that she was sliding it in the wrong spot, was enough to make him snicker.

She spun around at the sound, arm out, ready to hit him. He'd learned his lesson not to startle her last year. They all had, but he was safely out of her reach, so she only ended up ineffectually punching air.

"Jeff!" She slapped a black-clad, gloved hand to her chest--as tight and formfitting as her clothing--breathing heavily, looking reproachful enough to make him feel the teensiest bit guilty for scaring her. "What are you doing here?" she whispered harshly, leaning toward him so she could keep her voice low. Glancing quickly around, she moved closer. "You need to go. You're going to get caught."

"Me? You're not exactly Thomas Crown out here, Annie."

"What? I so am, too!" She began fiddling with the window again. "I know Chang's schedule. I know he's going to be coming by here again in--" she glanced at her arm, shoving her stretchy black sleeve up and her glove down, "oh, no." She shoved the window up--how the hell had she gotten it open? Though he suspected it hadn't actually been locked in the first place--half-turning away, half crouched, unable to decide what to do.

Her fears were starting to assert themselves, which was good, because--

She grabbed him by his t-shirt. "Chang's going to be by here any second!"

"I seriously doubt--"

She slapped her hand over his mouth, startling him. Eyes wide above her hand, he started to pull it away when he heard distant, crunching footsteps and saw a bobbing flashlight beam play across the parking lot. Chang was around the corner--the beam was long enough that Jeff knew he was only a few yards away--and heading toward them. Jeff lowered Annie's hand slowly, fighting her tightening grip. Shaking his head at her, he rolled his eyes, held his finger to his lips and then pointed to the window.

Shaking her own head in confusion, she started to hunker down, but Jeff grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up with a pointed look at the window. Annie twitched and moved around making him nearly drop her before she curled her fingers around the sill and pulled herself up. Splitting his attention between Annie and Chang, Jeff struggled to keep his hold on her.

They were in an awkward position, one that got worse once she managed to pull herself up halfway through the window then stopped, hanging there, feet swinging free.

The flashlight's beam was closing in on them.

Crap.

Darting a glance at her, then at Chang's approaching light, then back to her, Jeff used his shoulder to press her gently to the wall while he reached up and cupped her ass, propelling her up. A squeak of a noise left her, making him grin.

She glanced at him over her shoulder, eyes wide, urging him to push harder while chastising him for grabbing her so intimately. It only got worse. She began to slip backward because she wasn't paying attention and he had to scrabble for purchase against her seamless and smooth bodysuit. His hand slipped, sliding between her legs, pressing against parts of her that he'd fiercely kept himself from thinking about for three years.

Sort of.

Almost.

Okay, he'd thought about them, and dreamed about them, and fantasized about them, but he'd never let it go further than that and now he'd touched those parts.

His fantasies were going to be even more intense, which meant his feelings--

"Jeff!" she hissed, urging him to push her up again. She was still hanging partially in the window, partially out. "Help?"

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her ass with his other hand and, ignoring the feel of her soft, firm thighs--probably milky white under all that material--he shoved hard.

She flew up, flopping through the window with a loud, 'oomph!' as she landed.

Chang appeared around the corner just as Jeff ducked down. Chang's eyes searched suspiciously around the lot and the surrounding beds of bushes and flowers. "Hey! Who's there?"

Jeff settled on the chilled ground, waiting.

Chang would give up, walk right by, and then Jeff would wait patiently for Annie to get her phone. Then, he would forcefully put her back into her car and send her home, hopefully with no one the wiser. All of this for a stupid phone call. It'd better be one damn important call.

And not from Danny.

Ugh, he was sitting on damp soil. She owed him a pair of jeans, or at least a washing.

The window above him slid shut, making a noise that sounded loud in the empty night air. Jeff stayed hunkered down behind his bush, which was just tall enough to cover him as long as he stayed hunched over. There was a row of them, lined up neatly along the small bed under the windows, which ran along the entire side of the building.

If Chang bothered to check against the wall, he'd see Jeff, but Jeff was banking on Chang being an idiot, a bet he'd win every time.

"I heard you!" Chang yelled, voice echoing in the darkness. "I know you're there. Better come out now before I-- vrrrm-vrrrrm."

Jeff nearly laughed aloud at the sound, which, to his somewhat nerdy ears, sounded a lot like a grown man making Light Saber noises. Seeing the flashlight beam dart this way and that, Jeff knew Chang was moving it like a Light Ssaber.

Slapping a hand over his mouth, he waited out the laughter and Chang's dares to any Sith who might be lurking.

"Yeah. That's right." Chang sniffed self-importantly. "You don't wanna mess with this Jedi... master!" There were a few grunts and groans as Chang passed Jeff and he could see Chang making strongman poses.

Wishing like hell he had a camera, Jeff desperately tried to dig his phone out of his pocket, but by the time he managed it, Chang was gone, which was probably for the best since the flash and the noise would've alerted Chang to his position. Besides, once the pictures got back to Chang--and they would've since Jeff would've shown them to every person he'd ever known--it'd have been obvious Jeff had been here and he'd get expelled.

Best not to take any chances. Shutting his phone off, he held his hand over the speaker until it shut down, then shoved it back into his pocket.

The window opened a second later.

He stood up as Annie stuck her head out, a wide grin and laughter spilling from her lips.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Jeff beat her to it. "Yeah, but he's our moron."

"Can you imagine life without Greendale?"

"I do every day," he said dreamily, keeping one eye out for a returning Chang.

She rolled her eyes and hung out the window. "You should probably come inside before he comes back around."

"Just grab your phone and let's go. I don't wanna be caught here if he comes back with the sword from the stone."

Frowning, apparently forgetting they were in the middle of a B&E adventure, she said, "You mean Excalibur?"

He just couldn't leave it at that. "No. Excalibur was given to Arthur by The Lady of the Lake-- never mind. Just get your phone!"

She pointed at him with a smirk before disappearing back inside. "Nerd."

She was right. As much as he denied it, he was a big nerd. He collected comic books. He knew the names of all the characters in the first three Star Wars movies--the other three didn't exist in his mind--and he was crushing on a hot schoolgirl. Couldn't get much nerdier than that.

"Keep an eye out for him." The words were whispered harshly from somewhere inside, but Jeff was already turning and facing the back lot, watching out for a Taser-happy Chang headed their way.

60 seconds later, he heard footsteps running their way. "Shit." Returning to the window, he called harshly to Annie, keeping his voice low. "Annie! Chang's--"

She popped out again, eyes wide. "He's early!" Peering one way, then the other, she stared at the bobbing beam of light headed in their direction. Reaching her hand out, she waved at him to take it. "You need to get in here."

Jeff didn't want to. He wanted to hunker down and wait, or leave the school behind entirely because all of this was causing a headache that, to his own dismay, he recognized as a stress headache mixed with a sense of panic-slash-urgency.

A feeling he hated.

"There's no time to get out of sight!"

"Damn it." Grabbing her arm, he jumped up as the footsteps grew closer--it would only be a few seconds before Chang rounded the corner again--feet scraping on the brick. He should've jumped up without her help, because now he was stuck as she'd been. Her body half-fell out the window under his weight, but she gamely held on, leaning back inside, struggling to move backward as far as she could.

"Jeff!" Her voice was so high it nearly pierced his eardrums, but quiet enough that maybe Chang hadn't heard it.

"Hey! Who's there?!"

"Damn it!"

Releasing his arm, she grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him in while he used the wall under his feet and the frame of the window for leverage.

Just before Chang came around the corner, Jeff flew through the window, legs kicking out behind him. He and Annie landed in a heap on the floor, but she had the presence of mind to roll them over and reach up from above him to lower the window most of the way, though not completely.

Her hand dropped just as Chang stopped under the window. She lay above Jeff, arms bracing her on his chest as she tensely waited.

"Hey, get out here! I know you're in there. I saw--" He grunted, and Jeff turned his head to see Chang's shoulders and head rise to the lower pane, then disappear. A second later, he appeared again. Then again. Preceded by a grunt each time.

Annie squirmed above Jeff, drawing his attention to her and only her.

His eyes landed on her face and he tried desperately to stay focused on her eyes, or the way her ponytail was draped over her left shoulder, but she was busily biting her lip, looking worried.

His attention dropped down to her mouth.

This wasn't the most ideal position for them to be in at the best of times. Times when he was able to control his lust, which, around Annie, were beginning to dwindle. The last time they'd ended up like this, Annie and the dean had been trying to teach him a lesson, but the dean was nowhere in sight tonight.

Annie had been under him then, and he'd been in control of the situation, able to move away from her at any time. He'd climbed off of her so fast then that he'd left her gaping at him.

This time, he was underneath her and she was firm and soft above him. Plastered against his lower body.

It made him think about each and every individual part of his body that she was in direct contact with. Like a teenager making the rounds of all the porn sites, Jeff felt his body begin to respond to her.

He was alarmed, though, to realize that it wasn't just her body that was arousing him, it was Annie herself.

Unexpected physical stimuli was easy enough to control most days.

But she smelled fresh and flowery, like vanilla and roses, with a hint of spice.

Her hair, caught on her shoulder, hung around her ear, like an artful drape of dark cloth, reminding him of what she was wearing; dark and stretchy and a feast for his eyes. Like black licorice; one of his guilty pleasures.

Thinking of guilty pleasures and black licorice made Jeff remember the taste of Annie's kisses, the feel of her lips as they moved under his, the play of her tongue. He was experienced; he'd been with enough women to know that his feelings for Annie were fueling his arousal in ways he was unfamiliar with. Memories and scents, flashes of laughter and sparks of flavor.

"...Jeff?"

She didn't say his name so much as breathe it, which drew his attention right back to square one.

Blinking back the haze of lust, he shifted beneath her, hoping she hadn't noticed him hardening. It was difficult enough keeping his distance from her. This had the potential to become very awkward and would drop even more barriers between them and she'd push it. He knew she would.

Chang continued hopping up, trying to get a look inside, keeping up a running commentary the whole time.

"Come out."

Hop.

"I know you're in there."

Hop. Hop.

"You're not fooling anyone, idiot!"

Hop.

Jeff wanted to laugh and squirm at the same time. The urge to shove Annie off of him was strong, but with the window partially open and Chang acting like a maniacal acrobat, they had to stay where they were.

"Come out of there!"

Hop. Hop. Hop.

"I know it's you, Jeff!"

Jeff frowned, staring at the window. How the hell did Chang know it was him? "Lucky guess?" he mouthed to Annie.

She shrugged with a wince.

Holy crap. No more asking her questions, because that movement had been too delicious and he wanted to feel it again.

"Oh, come on! Like you could actually stop yourself from helping Annie in her quest for her phone. You're like her knight in shining Armani."

Chang didn't hop this time.

Annie smiled a soft little smile at Chang's words, and Jeff didn't bother to deny it. It was a well-known fact that he had a soft spot for Annie and a penchant for running to her side when she needed him. Or when he thought she might.

He folded his hands under his head with a small shrug of modest acknowledgement. Usually, the heroism was thrust upon him, but sometimes he took the bull by the horns on his own.

"Everyone knows you've got the hots for her, Jeff. That you're the..."

Jeff tensed under Annie.

Hop.

"...white knight to her damsel in distress..."

He wanted to sit up.

Hop.

"...and you've got some weird sense of chivalry going on..."

He wanted to dislodge her from him.

Hop.

"...because you wanna jump her bones..."

He wanted to dislodge her from him while Chang told the absolute, unvarnished truth.

Hop.

"...but you're too chicken shit to date her."

She went almost as still as he had.

Hop.

"Ugh! Why don't you give the rest of us a chance?"

So much so that she could've been a statue lying atop him.

Hop.

"Not that I'd want to!"

Hop. Hop.

Jeff forced himself to settle back on the floor of the dean's stupid office, forced himself to release the tension in his frame, because Annie could feel every move he made and he didn't need to confirm anything for her. This was not the time or the place. He tried to play it off by rolling his eyes and sneering in Chang's direction, but it came off more as a half-heartedly embarrassed look.

Annie's cheeks were turning pink along with what he could see of her neck in the high-cut body suit she was currently poured into.

"Even Star-Burns knows it, Jeff. And Leonard!"

The truth was hard to take, but coming from Chang it was downright painful.

Shaking his head at Chang's words, he scoffed quietly. Then rolled his eyes. He wanted to do more, but he figured he was already overdoing it as it was, so he settled for staring at the ceiling.

"And Annie! You follow Jeff around like a puppy dog."

Hop. Hop. Hop.

"It was cute at first, but now it's just pathetic!"

Annie's lips turned down in a thunderous frown and she tried to sit up, but Jeff quickly grabbed her hands. She jerked hers free and slapped at him, so he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her down on him. Not ideal but better than the alternative.

"Stop it," he whispered in her ear, and felt her shudder. From anger, or from his breath in her ear? His voice softened a little. "He's just trying to get a rise out of you."

"I know what he's doing," she whispered back harshly but she stayed still, only moving to breathe. "But that doesn't make it any easier not to want to go out there and deck him."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed, feeling the urge to do so as well. The disgusting thing about it was that he wanted to do it on Annie's behalf more than his own.

But Chang wasn't finished.

"I mean, come on! That display you put on during the mock U.N. thing? I didn't actually see it, but I heard things."

Jeff held tight to Annie with one hand as she, once again, struggled desperately to get up. Luckily, she was too angry to realize that she could verbally respond, since he was only restraining her physically from jumping out the window and attacking Chang.

He solved the problem by pressing a hand lightly to her lips, feeling the warm dampness of her breath on his palm. He immediately regretted the move. But he had to make sure she stayed quiet. Getting caught at this juncture was out of the question, especially by Chang of all people.

Annie glared furiously at him, but finally sighed and relaxed after a few seconds.

Of silence.

Crap. Where was Chang?

"Chang?" he whispered to Annie, nodding his head questioningly toward the window. Crap. What if Chang had wised up and remembered that he had keys to the school and all the offices?

Annie's eyes widened as she came to the same conclusion.

"Get your phone." Jeff kept his voice low still, just in case Chang was only pretending to have left, and began to roll out from under her.

She fell forward, catching herself with her hands on either side of him.

And feeling what he'd tried, at first, to keep from happening. Then, when that'd failed, what he'd tried to keep her off of. Now, she was in full contact with his growing hard-on.

Yeah, still growing.

Fuck.

Their eyes met and he felt the pull of her. The draw of Annie. It was always there, but tonight, something else was present as well, he just didn't know what it was.

She leaned down, as if she couldn't stop herself. All he wanted in the world just then was being freely offered. Lust rose higher in him.

Snaking a hand around the back of her neck, he pulled her down for a deep, soul-searching--if he believed in all that romantic bullshit, which he didn't--kiss. Until he remembered Chang. Sitting up, he grabbed her arms, halting what promised to be an epic kiss.

If he believed in all that bullshit.

Which he didn't.

"Phone. Chang's circling around."

She sat staring at him for a few precious seconds.

"Annie!"

Snapping to attention, she got to her feet, pulling her phone from a pocket he hadn't known she had. "Already got it."

He stared at her, wondering what else was hidden in the stretchy, black cloth. Aside from every creamy inch of her skin... and judging by how perfectly the material molded to her perfect body, he'd say, nothing else.

"Jeff!"

Crap.

He got to his feet, standing in the middle of the office, staring from the door to the window. "Why didn't you just leave with me when we had the chance?"

She stared at him as if he were two. "Because Chang was coming and the parking lot is nothing but open space?" Her voice was just filled with 'duh'.

"There are bushes," he whispered back, voice full of just as much 'duh'.

"I--" She shrugged and he saw her eyes slide to the closet in the corner. "Okay, fine, I thought I had time to look through the dean's stuff. I mean, have you seen his costumes?"

Jeff stared at her.

She gave a little annoyed shake, halfway to stomping her foot before she halted herself. "Chang wasn't supposed to show up again for another ten minutes! And," she stressed, obviously wanting to deflect attention off of herself, "he's on his way now. We have to get out of here." She crossed to the door and peeked into the outer office.

Letting it go for now, he shook his head and rubbed his forehead. Welcome, familiar headache, welcome. "All right. The window," he started to say, heading in that direction, but then he realized that, as she'd said, they'd be in full view of anyone and everyone who wanted to look out any of the windows in the school and since Chang now knew someone was here--or at least suspected--then they should probably keep a lower profile than they had coming in.

Joining her by the door, he groaned silently. They'd have to go out the door and slip quietly out of the school.

With him sporting a hard-on.

Perfect.

Avoiding her gaze, he slipped through the door, wanting to be ahead of her rather than behind, though it really made no difference at this point; she'd felt what he was trying to hide. He gestured to her to follow him just as a door slammed shut a few halls away. Feeling a sense of urgency rush through him, fueling him, he left the offices and headed into the hall, looking around for the best way to go, but what if all the exits were locked?

"Jeff!"

Turning to Annie, he saw her opening a door down the hall and slipping inside.

He could either stand there and get caught or slip into the supply closet she'd gone into. The cramped, dark, perfect-for-sex closet. He'd used enough of the closets on campus by now to know that this one would be perfect for getting them into more trouble.

Loud footsteps clomped on the floor, heading their way. He could see Chang's bobbing flashlight beam.

There really was no choice.

-
Chapter 3