Glimpse of Truth (Chapter 16) Sucker-Punched By Love
Title: Glimpse of Truth (16/?) Sucker-Punched By Love
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Doctor/Rose
Rating: All ages
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: The Doctor isn't thrilled with how things are between him and Rose.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 (all ages version). Chapter 4 (adult version),
Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11,
Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15
The Doctor saw Rose shake her head and then leave the room, leaving him behind with his misery.
He dropped his head to the tabletop, bumping his forehead against it. "Head. Slam. Desk. Common phrase on the Internet," he told the empty room, impressing the toaster with his knowledge and quick wit.
The shiny, metal masterpiece of technology didn't reply.
Well, he'd certainly blown that.
He'd had how many chances over the past few months to tell her? Had looked at her, opened his mouth, and attempted to say it how many times? Had clammed up and decided he was too big a coward to do so after all?
"Only a gazillion."
Closing his eyes, he let himself rest for the first time since finding Rose again. Let himself relax. It'd been a whirlwind of non-stop angst and drama since... well, actually since he'd first stolen the TARDIS. But recently, it was more in the range of finding Rose again and fighting off the Daleks. Again. And losing her. Again.
To... well, him, this time, at least, not just another universe as he'd attempted to do before.
And now the truth was out of the bag. He had only 201 other secrets he was currently keeping from Rose, and only 17 of those were ones he could actually share with her.
Alishta, that was one he could share.
It was a word his people had used in times of deep-- when other-- bloody hell, he couldn't really remember the true meaning, just the one it'd come to mean as part of the family whole.
A word that came to mean love, more than anything else.
Completeness. Unity. Wholeness. Deep feelings.
Love.
And he did love her. More than any one man could, or should, love another person. He had his own feelings, plus his double's. To say he'd been sucker-punched by love would be a massive understatement.
"Doctor."
But he couldn't tell her that. Not now. She'd think it was all the other him.
Snapping his head up, he wiped off a little drool from the corner of his mouth and turned to Rose, who was standing in the doorway, clutching the doorjamb with white knuckles.
"It's noisy again." She didn't move closer, didn't look like she wanted to. Ever. "My head... I hear voices. Are they you?"
Pushing to his feet, he placed his hands on her stomach and knocked the baby from his mind, reinforcing his barriers. "Yes. I'm sure it is." Instead of rearing back and running from her as he'd wanted to do the first time she whispered Alishta to him, he stood straight, watching her gather herself.
Rose bent over with a sigh, closing her eyes as her hand wrapped around her belly, ever protective.
Did she think she had to protect the baby from him?
"He had no right."
The Doctor remained silent, standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. Itching to reach out and touch her again. Just once while not performing a task of some kind. While not examining her or steadying her, or any number of other reasons he'd used to touch her in the past month. It was his own fault; he'd been avoiding her.
Avoiding touching her and being near her, as if that would help in any way.
Standing straight again, Rose fixed her eyes on him. "He had no right. You're not him," she said forcefully, eyes boring into his. "Just because you have his memories, that doesn't make you him."
He knew that.
But he also knew it was a lie. He was himself, and he was his other self. Two men in one body; something he was quite used to. "Isn't a man measured by his memories? By the sum of what he remembers?"
"No." She bent over, fingers gripping the jamb again, knuckles turning white. "He's measured by his experiences. By actually being there, not just having memories of being there."
He reached out to her, hands steadying her; another task. "Rose--"
Her head snapped up, eyes boring into his. "You're not him." The words were desperate, as if she needed him to agree before she could move on and let it go. Pleading with him to agree.
Begging him by statement.
She winced and bent over again, grabbing her belly, and he realized she wasn't just upset. It was too early... she was only 24 weeks. Of course, he didn't know what was normal in this pregnancy. They hadn't found any answers. Information about Gallifrey was scarce in the universe. Most of what was left was in the TARDIS, and he'd yet to find anything relevant.
With her only six months along, she could be right on time, or three months early.
"All right," he agreed, taking her arm and resting his other hand on her back, "I'll be the bloody Queen of Ahloongton'ish-nel if you'd like. Just let me help you to the med bay."
Rose groaned, panting heavily, breath leaving her in a rush before being sucked back in harshly. "But it's too soon."
Clenching his jaw tight, he remained silent, not wanting to scare her. His irritation and hurt at her insistence that he wasn't the man who's mind had been made up of his faded away.
Chapter 17 - Life Got Complicated
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Doctor/Rose
Rating: All ages
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: The Doctor isn't thrilled with how things are between him and Rose.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 (all ages version). Chapter 4 (adult version),
Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11,
Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15
The Doctor saw Rose shake her head and then leave the room, leaving him behind with his misery.
He dropped his head to the tabletop, bumping his forehead against it. "Head. Slam. Desk. Common phrase on the Internet," he told the empty room, impressing the toaster with his knowledge and quick wit.
The shiny, metal masterpiece of technology didn't reply.
Well, he'd certainly blown that.
He'd had how many chances over the past few months to tell her? Had looked at her, opened his mouth, and attempted to say it how many times? Had clammed up and decided he was too big a coward to do so after all?
"Only a gazillion."
Closing his eyes, he let himself rest for the first time since finding Rose again. Let himself relax. It'd been a whirlwind of non-stop angst and drama since... well, actually since he'd first stolen the TARDIS. But recently, it was more in the range of finding Rose again and fighting off the Daleks. Again. And losing her. Again.
To... well, him, this time, at least, not just another universe as he'd attempted to do before.
And now the truth was out of the bag. He had only 201 other secrets he was currently keeping from Rose, and only 17 of those were ones he could actually share with her.
Alishta, that was one he could share.
It was a word his people had used in times of deep-- when other-- bloody hell, he couldn't really remember the true meaning, just the one it'd come to mean as part of the family whole.
A word that came to mean love, more than anything else.
Completeness. Unity. Wholeness. Deep feelings.
Love.
And he did love her. More than any one man could, or should, love another person. He had his own feelings, plus his double's. To say he'd been sucker-punched by love would be a massive understatement.
"Doctor."
But he couldn't tell her that. Not now. She'd think it was all the other him.
Snapping his head up, he wiped off a little drool from the corner of his mouth and turned to Rose, who was standing in the doorway, clutching the doorjamb with white knuckles.
"It's noisy again." She didn't move closer, didn't look like she wanted to. Ever. "My head... I hear voices. Are they you?"
Pushing to his feet, he placed his hands on her stomach and knocked the baby from his mind, reinforcing his barriers. "Yes. I'm sure it is." Instead of rearing back and running from her as he'd wanted to do the first time she whispered Alishta to him, he stood straight, watching her gather herself.
Rose bent over with a sigh, closing her eyes as her hand wrapped around her belly, ever protective.
Did she think she had to protect the baby from him?
"He had no right."
The Doctor remained silent, standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. Itching to reach out and touch her again. Just once while not performing a task of some kind. While not examining her or steadying her, or any number of other reasons he'd used to touch her in the past month. It was his own fault; he'd been avoiding her.
Avoiding touching her and being near her, as if that would help in any way.
Standing straight again, Rose fixed her eyes on him. "He had no right. You're not him," she said forcefully, eyes boring into his. "Just because you have his memories, that doesn't make you him."
He knew that.
But he also knew it was a lie. He was himself, and he was his other self. Two men in one body; something he was quite used to. "Isn't a man measured by his memories? By the sum of what he remembers?"
"No." She bent over, fingers gripping the jamb again, knuckles turning white. "He's measured by his experiences. By actually being there, not just having memories of being there."
He reached out to her, hands steadying her; another task. "Rose--"
Her head snapped up, eyes boring into his. "You're not him." The words were desperate, as if she needed him to agree before she could move on and let it go. Pleading with him to agree.
Begging him by statement.
She winced and bent over again, grabbing her belly, and he realized she wasn't just upset. It was too early... she was only 24 weeks. Of course, he didn't know what was normal in this pregnancy. They hadn't found any answers. Information about Gallifrey was scarce in the universe. Most of what was left was in the TARDIS, and he'd yet to find anything relevant.
With her only six months along, she could be right on time, or three months early.
"All right," he agreed, taking her arm and resting his other hand on her back, "I'll be the bloody Queen of Ahloongton'ish-nel if you'd like. Just let me help you to the med bay."
Rose groaned, panting heavily, breath leaving her in a rush before being sucked back in harshly. "But it's too soon."
Clenching his jaw tight, he remained silent, not wanting to scare her. His irritation and hurt at her insistence that he wasn't the man who's mind had been made up of his faded away.
Chapter 17 - Life Got Complicated