FANFIC - Fall to Pieces [Ryo/Erika]
TITLE: Fall to Pieces
PAIRING: Ryo/Erika
GENRE: angst and pinch of fluff
DISCLAMER: Don’t own anything but the plot.
RATING: PG (language?)
DESCRIPTION: Out of all the people she'd ever run into, it had to be him
A/N: Another fic? Er, yes ^_^; One-shot though! Got distracted from writing chapter 2 of Look After You. The title is from Avril Lavigne’s song. I was just listening to it, then Ryo/Erika came to mind, and the need to write. Feedback appreciated~
It was a peaceful mildly cloudy afternoon in London.
All Sawajiri Erika wanted to do today was enjoy the quiet afternoon, sitting by a window in her favorite comfortable coffee shop and relax.
The young woman shed her long black coat, tossing it over to the empty chair across from her. She flipped her long almond hair to one side of her shoulder, and stretched out her slender arms. The waiter placed the cup of coffee she ordered and along with a bottle of cream upon her table. Erika glanced up at the waiter, smiling politely as she thanked him. She began to pour a little bit of cream into the cup, and then placed her spoon inside it. With one hand, she began to stir her coffee and rested her chin on the other.
“Is this seat taken?”
Someone had asked her in English, only colored with a Japanese accent. She briefly stopped herself from stirring, blinking in surprise. She regrettably recognized that voice. Her brown eyes slowly drifted up to the figure who stood in front of her and regrettably enough her guess was correct.
“Sawajiri?” the figure returned back to his Japanese dialect, and gaped at her. He pulled off his aviators, smiling down at her “What a coincidence”
“…What the hell are you doing here?” retorted Erika, disdainfully narrowing her eyes at him. Out of all the people she’d run to in this country, it just had to be the confident Johnny boy, Ryo Nishikido. Wonderful.
“Good to see you too” he replied, with a small chuckle. “You haven’t answered my question”
“Yes, I’m afraid it’s taken” she replied casually, as she continued to swirl her coffee.
“Takashiro-san is coming by here soon”
“Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind much” stated Ryo as he circled around the chair infront of her. “A little chat won’t hurt, I haven’t seen you in awhile ”
“Right now I prefer to drink my coffee alone” she replied, the indifferent tone still present. She stared back down at the cup of coffee. Erika kept her nonchalant expression, though his presence was bothering her. She didn’t even understand why Ryo Nishikido was here in London in the first place, especially in a small coffee place like this. The young woman liked this particular cafe since it wasn’t so popular or crowded. The location of the café was also far away from any tourists or big groups of people. The only ones who spent their time in this place were locals. She was sure lurking paparazzi weren’t around, crowding her with questions about Takashiro-san or confirmation on rumors. So how would someone like Nishikido drop by a small café like this?
“Nice jacket” Erika heard him comment. She glanced up at Ryo, watching as he draped her coat around the chair and took himself a seat. Could the Johnny be anymore of a nuisance?
“I’m sure you heard me, Nishikido” she commented, preventing herself from sneering. He stared at her curiously.
“Go ahead drink your coffee,” responded Ryo calmly, as he opened the small menu infront of him. “I’m not much a coffee person anyway”
She honestly wanted to yank him out of that seat herself, but causing a scene like that in public wouldn’t be good. Even though there was hardly anyone inside the café, it was still a risky movement. Erika didn’t want to face her manager calling her, and demanding to explain why there was a story of her ‘strangling’ the oh-so-popular Nishikido Ryo. …Well, she wouldn’t honestly strangle him, but paparazzi and gossip columns simply adored to exaggerate things like that.
So without making any further comment, she unwillingly let him stay seated where he was. Sipping her coffee, Erika watched as Ryo was pointing out something from the menu to the waiter, who seemed slightly confused. She assumed that he had struggled to find the right words to say on ordering in English, or that he was just lazy to try. English wasn’t one of his greatest strengths. After the waiter understood Ryo’s order, he nodded his head and walked off. Ryo set the menu down, and met her eyes.
“Nani?”
Realizing she was just staring, Erika shook her head briefly. “Nothing, I was…” Her eyes drifted to the top of his head. “…looking at your hair. I was staring at your hair.”
He began to stretch out a few strands of his bangs, glancing at each one pensively. “Do you like it?” he asked.
“Of course not” she replied curtly, crinkling her nose as she set her cup down. “I was wondering why in the world you even styled your hair like that”
“I felt like it” he stated defensively crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the chair. “At least some of my friends thought differently”
“Like who?” she questioned in disbelief as she dipped another spoon into a container filled with sugar.
“Matsumoto-san”
“Well that’s the perfect person to seek hair advice to” commented Erika, as she dropped a spoonful of sugar into her cup, then began stirring it with the spoon already inside. Erika glanced down at her cup, imagining Nishikido sitting in a hair salon chair, and Jun Matsumoto picking out hairstyles for him from magazines. Then, getting their nails down right after. “So what, are you two dating now?”
“Dating?” Erika heard him reply curiously. From her corner of her eyes, she saw the figure lean over the table between them. “Ano…you can say that” he stated in almost a serious manner. “We’ve had our dates”
Erika momentarily ceased herself from stiring her coffee and shot him an odd look
He was staring right back at her, an indifferent gaze was now in his eyes. She was close to spitting out a scornful comment, but he stopped her with that infamous smirk of his.
“I’m lying” he commented with the familiar Asou Haruto tone in his voice.
”I knew that,” replied Erika, as she continued to stir her coffee. “but denial is not good for you, Nishikido”
“Were you jealous?” he suddenly asked, teasingly tilting his head to the side. She peculiarly raised an eyebrow towards him, giving him a ‘you got to be kidding me’ look. “Far from it” scoffed the young woman taking another sip of her coffee. “There’s nothing to be jealous of”
“You looked like you were” he commented, neatly folding his hands on the table, his gaze still locked on her face. “Denial is not good for you, Sawajiri” That smirk still lingered on his lips. She stared coldly right back at him, trying to make him withdraw from this staring contest. Unfortunately, Erika was the one who broke her eyes away from him.
“Stop staring at me like that” she replied bitterly. “It’s creeping me out”
He chuckled softly to himself, and leaned back against the chair once again. “Gomen” he apologized with a calm smile. She brought the cup to her lips, taking another sip. Why would she ever be jealous for him? Arrogant bastard. Plus, his composure was inwardly bugging the hell out of her. Sure, he always seemed to act that way as far as she knew him, but it was noticeably much more than usual.
The waiter came by the table, setting down a plate in front of Ryo. There was a small piece of cake on top of it. Ryo thanked him briefly, and quietly dug his fork into the cake.
“…Cake?”
“Of course” he replied, placing a piece inside his mouth. After finishing off the first piece (followed by many ‘umai’ comments) he dug for another piece only holding the fork towards her. “Try it. The calories wont hurt you, honestly I think you need them.”
“You know you haven’t answered my question earlier” she stated, immediately changing the subject as she set her cup down.
“I already told you my hairs ju-“
“Why are you here, Nishikido?” Erika sharply asked. She had a feeling he would try to evade her question, so might as well ask him directly. And yet, he still managed to keep a collected look on his face after her question, or more like a demand for an explanation.
“You know, I thought it was going to be sunny…” he imperturbably commented, looking up at the murky sky from the window. “It’s really cloudy” Erika’s hands clenched into a fist. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“If you’re planning something here, or setting me up,” she snapped, her voice rising slightly. “Or if those…those…rowdy Kanjani…Kansai friends of yours come busting in here, I’m going to-”
“Why’re you here?” Ryo abruptly asked her, still staring out of the window. The glare in her eyes evolved into a confused stare. Was that a rhetorical question? His eyes slowly drifted away from the window, and reached her own eyes. There were no hints of playfulness, composure or even sarcasm in his eyes, but instead a serious gaze replaced all of that. “I mean I felt like coming here alone, that’s all. But I don’t understand why you’re here”
“What’re you talking about?” she replied crossly, sending off a look of disbelief. “You saw the damn news, I’m on apparently hiatus with Takashiro-san. And as you can see I’m doing just fine”
Ryo stared back down at his cake, stabbing it softly with his fork, separating it into small pieces. “Vacation you say?”
“What else?” Erika replied, pouring more cream into her cup. She stared back down at her cup, realizing it was more than she needed, and began stirring. A heavy silence hung above them, like the darkening clouds above the sky. The only sound that seemed to fill the air was the soft music playing, the tinkling of her spoon, and a faraway rumbling outside. And despite the fact she hated the fact he purposely avoided subjects at times, Erika hoped he would this time.
“I think your ‘vacation’ as an excuse” he commented offhandedly. Her eyes widen slightly, swiftly looking right back at him. Nishikido continued to poke at his cake with his fork, not meeting her eyes this time.
“An excuse?” she repeated skeptically. “What the hell are you talking about?” Another moment of silence, the sounds remained the same, except the rumbling became more perceptible.
“Well, apparently you’re getting away from it all, right? All the crap you went through last year” he commented solemnly, the cake was now separated into a many pieces. She was about to interrupt him, but he continued to talk firmly. “And yes I know that’s what vacations are for…but staying here for almost the whole year?” Finally, his eyes met hers, with a look that made her loss any belief that he was even joking on the current topic. “I thought you were stronger than that”
Erika Sawajiri would’ve threw something at his face by now, yelled, stood up, stomped away, forget what he said, forget everything, and return back to where she was currently living at. And tell herself everything was better here and the asshole was completely wrong.
And yet, she didn’t do any of those gestures. Erika stayed seated at the table, barely turning the spoon in her cup; hell, her coffee was probably barely warm by now. A constant tapping noise erupted from the outside. Rain began pouring down the streets of London and a distant sound of thunder rumbled from afar. She swiftly turned her head towards the window, watching as the rain poured against it, and many droplets began to slide slowly descend from the glass. The silence stretched on, much longer than the previous times silence crept in between them.
“…You could’ve talked to me at least” he finally said outloud. She continued to stare out the window, pensively watching the rain.
“Like you would’ve gave a damn” she mumbled bitterly.
“I do right now”
“You have no reason to” replied Erika, the tone of her voice was suddenly faint. “So you think a little preaching would convince me to go back?” Rain continued to pour heavily.
“No, but I’ve could’ve prevented you from flying away. Unlike that…”
“Well, he’s supporting me now” a sharp reply escaped from her lips, releasing her hand from the spoon’s handle. “Unlike someone else”
Silence continued to creep on. It was not just an invisible cloud hanging above their heads, but also a wall in-between them. A wall filled with awkwardness, and things they never said to each other or had to nerve to.
“Do you want to know why I really came here?”
Finally, they both reached each other’s eyes. The look she gave granted him permission to go on. His eyes maneuvered to the rainy scenery outside.
“Worry. Tossing and turning every night in regret. Pretending to be okay, even though when something triggers my memory, I realize I’m not” he muttered quietly, as if speaking too loudly would break something. He leaned his head against the window; a sharp sigh escaped his lips. “And having some crazy idea to see you after many months since the last time we spoke to each other…though you still seem to hate me” A brief amused smile flickered on his face. “And tell you what I said earlier…in person. I’m still surprised I’m alive right now”
He paused, glancing at her once more. The ashamed look in his eyes was saddening.
“I miss you, Sawajiri”
She stared at him, not sure what was in her eyes. Shock, awe, disbelief, a mix of that? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t even sure how to react to that statement. It would’ve been a harsh response, or even malicious. But she continued to stay seated, without a response in mind. Instead she unsteadily breaks away from his eyes.
She wanted to deny everything he had said, she wanted to accuse him for lying right in her face, tell him that he had no right meddling into her life, and she didn’t want to see him ever again. That he was wrong, had no clue about her or her life, completely wrong.
But to be honest, he was right. He was absolutely right.
Was this why she hated him? That he’d tell her the things that were things she avoided to hear. Yet, he didn’t have to grab her by the shoulders to make her listen. Somehow, someway, he just got to her. And even after how many months of the two cutting any connection with each other, over some stupid argument, that’d he’d still was able to read her like a book. As much as she hated to admit it, no matter how much she placed her feelings under her sleeves, he somehow seemed to see right through her cover-ups.
And maybe that’s why she doesn’t actually hate him. Maybe that’s why during the times where she was going the thunderstorm of negative labels and paparazzi crowding her, she found herself lying awake at night, staring at his name lit up on her cellphone, her finger lingering over the call button. Having the need to call him, to talk to him, vent to him, or even just to hear his voice. And occasionally now she found herself at night wandering in the crowded streets of London, feeling lonely. Feeling that even though she got away from all the crap, something wasn’t right.
Yes, Takashiro-san was always there for her. She had turned to the man for support and comfort. But that’s all he seemed to just give her. Ryo…gave her an opinion. Told her right from wrong, was her reality check, and as much as she despised it…it was something she really needed most of all.
He was someone she probably needed most of all.
Warm tears began to surface under her eyes, and Erika immediately cursed herself under her breath, quickly wiping the drops off her face, though some seemed to managed running down her cheeks. She despised crying, especially in front of people…especially in front of him. Unsurprisingly, he detected her tears. He was leaning over the table, a hand was reaching out to touch her cheek.
Her eyes averted once again to the outside of the window, only not focusing at the sky but at the sidewalk across the sidewalk as a black sports car rolled by from a distance.
Immediately, Ryo knew what she was looking at and recoiled back into his seat. She glanced back at him, watching as he pulled out his wallet, taking out some money and placed it on top of the table. He slowly stood up from his seat, and walked towards her. Before Erika made any comment, Nishikido stooped down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, a hand ran down the back of her head, as his fingers were tangled in the long strands of her hair. He pulled away carefully, staring back at her, disappointment set in his eyes.
“Ja ne” he whispered, his lips formed a sad smile. Erika sat there speechless; her eyes followed him walking out the door and into the rain, crossing paths with Takashiro.
She stood up from her seat, but immediately caught the eye of someone else. From outside, the man waved at her with a grin. She too waved back with a forced smile and slumped back into her seat, knowing it was too late to start over.
PAIRING: Ryo/Erika
GENRE: angst and pinch of fluff
DISCLAMER: Don’t own anything but the plot.
RATING: PG (language?)
DESCRIPTION: Out of all the people she'd ever run into, it had to be him
A/N: Another fic? Er, yes ^_^; One-shot though! Got distracted from writing chapter 2 of Look After You. The title is from Avril Lavigne’s song. I was just listening to it, then Ryo/Erika came to mind, and the need to write. Feedback appreciated~
It was a peaceful mildly cloudy afternoon in London.
All Sawajiri Erika wanted to do today was enjoy the quiet afternoon, sitting by a window in her favorite comfortable coffee shop and relax.
The young woman shed her long black coat, tossing it over to the empty chair across from her. She flipped her long almond hair to one side of her shoulder, and stretched out her slender arms. The waiter placed the cup of coffee she ordered and along with a bottle of cream upon her table. Erika glanced up at the waiter, smiling politely as she thanked him. She began to pour a little bit of cream into the cup, and then placed her spoon inside it. With one hand, she began to stir her coffee and rested her chin on the other.
“Is this seat taken?”
Someone had asked her in English, only colored with a Japanese accent. She briefly stopped herself from stirring, blinking in surprise. She regrettably recognized that voice. Her brown eyes slowly drifted up to the figure who stood in front of her and regrettably enough her guess was correct.
“Sawajiri?” the figure returned back to his Japanese dialect, and gaped at her. He pulled off his aviators, smiling down at her “What a coincidence”
“…What the hell are you doing here?” retorted Erika, disdainfully narrowing her eyes at him. Out of all the people she’d run to in this country, it just had to be the confident Johnny boy, Ryo Nishikido. Wonderful.
“Good to see you too” he replied, with a small chuckle. “You haven’t answered my question”
“Yes, I’m afraid it’s taken” she replied casually, as she continued to swirl her coffee.
“Takashiro-san is coming by here soon”
“Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind much” stated Ryo as he circled around the chair infront of her. “A little chat won’t hurt, I haven’t seen you in awhile ”
“Right now I prefer to drink my coffee alone” she replied, the indifferent tone still present. She stared back down at the cup of coffee. Erika kept her nonchalant expression, though his presence was bothering her. She didn’t even understand why Ryo Nishikido was here in London in the first place, especially in a small coffee place like this. The young woman liked this particular cafe since it wasn’t so popular or crowded. The location of the café was also far away from any tourists or big groups of people. The only ones who spent their time in this place were locals. She was sure lurking paparazzi weren’t around, crowding her with questions about Takashiro-san or confirmation on rumors. So how would someone like Nishikido drop by a small café like this?
“Nice jacket” Erika heard him comment. She glanced up at Ryo, watching as he draped her coat around the chair and took himself a seat. Could the Johnny be anymore of a nuisance?
“I’m sure you heard me, Nishikido” she commented, preventing herself from sneering. He stared at her curiously.
“Go ahead drink your coffee,” responded Ryo calmly, as he opened the small menu infront of him. “I’m not much a coffee person anyway”
She honestly wanted to yank him out of that seat herself, but causing a scene like that in public wouldn’t be good. Even though there was hardly anyone inside the café, it was still a risky movement. Erika didn’t want to face her manager calling her, and demanding to explain why there was a story of her ‘strangling’ the oh-so-popular Nishikido Ryo. …Well, she wouldn’t honestly strangle him, but paparazzi and gossip columns simply adored to exaggerate things like that.
So without making any further comment, she unwillingly let him stay seated where he was. Sipping her coffee, Erika watched as Ryo was pointing out something from the menu to the waiter, who seemed slightly confused. She assumed that he had struggled to find the right words to say on ordering in English, or that he was just lazy to try. English wasn’t one of his greatest strengths. After the waiter understood Ryo’s order, he nodded his head and walked off. Ryo set the menu down, and met her eyes.
“Nani?”
Realizing she was just staring, Erika shook her head briefly. “Nothing, I was…” Her eyes drifted to the top of his head. “…looking at your hair. I was staring at your hair.”
He began to stretch out a few strands of his bangs, glancing at each one pensively. “Do you like it?” he asked.
“Of course not” she replied curtly, crinkling her nose as she set her cup down. “I was wondering why in the world you even styled your hair like that”
“I felt like it” he stated defensively crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the chair. “At least some of my friends thought differently”
“Like who?” she questioned in disbelief as she dipped another spoon into a container filled with sugar.
“Matsumoto-san”
“Well that’s the perfect person to seek hair advice to” commented Erika, as she dropped a spoonful of sugar into her cup, then began stirring it with the spoon already inside. Erika glanced down at her cup, imagining Nishikido sitting in a hair salon chair, and Jun Matsumoto picking out hairstyles for him from magazines. Then, getting their nails down right after. “So what, are you two dating now?”
“Dating?” Erika heard him reply curiously. From her corner of her eyes, she saw the figure lean over the table between them. “Ano…you can say that” he stated in almost a serious manner. “We’ve had our dates”
Erika momentarily ceased herself from stiring her coffee and shot him an odd look
He was staring right back at her, an indifferent gaze was now in his eyes. She was close to spitting out a scornful comment, but he stopped her with that infamous smirk of his.
“I’m lying” he commented with the familiar Asou Haruto tone in his voice.
”I knew that,” replied Erika, as she continued to stir her coffee. “but denial is not good for you, Nishikido”
“Were you jealous?” he suddenly asked, teasingly tilting his head to the side. She peculiarly raised an eyebrow towards him, giving him a ‘you got to be kidding me’ look. “Far from it” scoffed the young woman taking another sip of her coffee. “There’s nothing to be jealous of”
“You looked like you were” he commented, neatly folding his hands on the table, his gaze still locked on her face. “Denial is not good for you, Sawajiri” That smirk still lingered on his lips. She stared coldly right back at him, trying to make him withdraw from this staring contest. Unfortunately, Erika was the one who broke her eyes away from him.
“Stop staring at me like that” she replied bitterly. “It’s creeping me out”
He chuckled softly to himself, and leaned back against the chair once again. “Gomen” he apologized with a calm smile. She brought the cup to her lips, taking another sip. Why would she ever be jealous for him? Arrogant bastard. Plus, his composure was inwardly bugging the hell out of her. Sure, he always seemed to act that way as far as she knew him, but it was noticeably much more than usual.
The waiter came by the table, setting down a plate in front of Ryo. There was a small piece of cake on top of it. Ryo thanked him briefly, and quietly dug his fork into the cake.
“…Cake?”
“Of course” he replied, placing a piece inside his mouth. After finishing off the first piece (followed by many ‘umai’ comments) he dug for another piece only holding the fork towards her. “Try it. The calories wont hurt you, honestly I think you need them.”
“You know you haven’t answered my question earlier” she stated, immediately changing the subject as she set her cup down.
“I already told you my hairs ju-“
“Why are you here, Nishikido?” Erika sharply asked. She had a feeling he would try to evade her question, so might as well ask him directly. And yet, he still managed to keep a collected look on his face after her question, or more like a demand for an explanation.
“You know, I thought it was going to be sunny…” he imperturbably commented, looking up at the murky sky from the window. “It’s really cloudy” Erika’s hands clenched into a fist. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“If you’re planning something here, or setting me up,” she snapped, her voice rising slightly. “Or if those…those…rowdy Kanjani…Kansai friends of yours come busting in here, I’m going to-”
“Why’re you here?” Ryo abruptly asked her, still staring out of the window. The glare in her eyes evolved into a confused stare. Was that a rhetorical question? His eyes slowly drifted away from the window, and reached her own eyes. There were no hints of playfulness, composure or even sarcasm in his eyes, but instead a serious gaze replaced all of that. “I mean I felt like coming here alone, that’s all. But I don’t understand why you’re here”
“What’re you talking about?” she replied crossly, sending off a look of disbelief. “You saw the damn news, I’m on apparently hiatus with Takashiro-san. And as you can see I’m doing just fine”
Ryo stared back down at his cake, stabbing it softly with his fork, separating it into small pieces. “Vacation you say?”
“What else?” Erika replied, pouring more cream into her cup. She stared back down at her cup, realizing it was more than she needed, and began stirring. A heavy silence hung above them, like the darkening clouds above the sky. The only sound that seemed to fill the air was the soft music playing, the tinkling of her spoon, and a faraway rumbling outside. And despite the fact she hated the fact he purposely avoided subjects at times, Erika hoped he would this time.
“I think your ‘vacation’ as an excuse” he commented offhandedly. Her eyes widen slightly, swiftly looking right back at him. Nishikido continued to poke at his cake with his fork, not meeting her eyes this time.
“An excuse?” she repeated skeptically. “What the hell are you talking about?” Another moment of silence, the sounds remained the same, except the rumbling became more perceptible.
“Well, apparently you’re getting away from it all, right? All the crap you went through last year” he commented solemnly, the cake was now separated into a many pieces. She was about to interrupt him, but he continued to talk firmly. “And yes I know that’s what vacations are for…but staying here for almost the whole year?” Finally, his eyes met hers, with a look that made her loss any belief that he was even joking on the current topic. “I thought you were stronger than that”
Erika Sawajiri would’ve threw something at his face by now, yelled, stood up, stomped away, forget what he said, forget everything, and return back to where she was currently living at. And tell herself everything was better here and the asshole was completely wrong.
And yet, she didn’t do any of those gestures. Erika stayed seated at the table, barely turning the spoon in her cup; hell, her coffee was probably barely warm by now. A constant tapping noise erupted from the outside. Rain began pouring down the streets of London and a distant sound of thunder rumbled from afar. She swiftly turned her head towards the window, watching as the rain poured against it, and many droplets began to slide slowly descend from the glass. The silence stretched on, much longer than the previous times silence crept in between them.
“…You could’ve talked to me at least” he finally said outloud. She continued to stare out the window, pensively watching the rain.
“Like you would’ve gave a damn” she mumbled bitterly.
“I do right now”
“You have no reason to” replied Erika, the tone of her voice was suddenly faint. “So you think a little preaching would convince me to go back?” Rain continued to pour heavily.
“No, but I’ve could’ve prevented you from flying away. Unlike that…”
“Well, he’s supporting me now” a sharp reply escaped from her lips, releasing her hand from the spoon’s handle. “Unlike someone else”
Silence continued to creep on. It was not just an invisible cloud hanging above their heads, but also a wall in-between them. A wall filled with awkwardness, and things they never said to each other or had to nerve to.
“Do you want to know why I really came here?”
Finally, they both reached each other’s eyes. The look she gave granted him permission to go on. His eyes maneuvered to the rainy scenery outside.
“Worry. Tossing and turning every night in regret. Pretending to be okay, even though when something triggers my memory, I realize I’m not” he muttered quietly, as if speaking too loudly would break something. He leaned his head against the window; a sharp sigh escaped his lips. “And having some crazy idea to see you after many months since the last time we spoke to each other…though you still seem to hate me” A brief amused smile flickered on his face. “And tell you what I said earlier…in person. I’m still surprised I’m alive right now”
He paused, glancing at her once more. The ashamed look in his eyes was saddening.
“I miss you, Sawajiri”
She stared at him, not sure what was in her eyes. Shock, awe, disbelief, a mix of that? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t even sure how to react to that statement. It would’ve been a harsh response, or even malicious. But she continued to stay seated, without a response in mind. Instead she unsteadily breaks away from his eyes.
She wanted to deny everything he had said, she wanted to accuse him for lying right in her face, tell him that he had no right meddling into her life, and she didn’t want to see him ever again. That he was wrong, had no clue about her or her life, completely wrong.
But to be honest, he was right. He was absolutely right.
Was this why she hated him? That he’d tell her the things that were things she avoided to hear. Yet, he didn’t have to grab her by the shoulders to make her listen. Somehow, someway, he just got to her. And even after how many months of the two cutting any connection with each other, over some stupid argument, that’d he’d still was able to read her like a book. As much as she hated to admit it, no matter how much she placed her feelings under her sleeves, he somehow seemed to see right through her cover-ups.
And maybe that’s why she doesn’t actually hate him. Maybe that’s why during the times where she was going the thunderstorm of negative labels and paparazzi crowding her, she found herself lying awake at night, staring at his name lit up on her cellphone, her finger lingering over the call button. Having the need to call him, to talk to him, vent to him, or even just to hear his voice. And occasionally now she found herself at night wandering in the crowded streets of London, feeling lonely. Feeling that even though she got away from all the crap, something wasn’t right.
Yes, Takashiro-san was always there for her. She had turned to the man for support and comfort. But that’s all he seemed to just give her. Ryo…gave her an opinion. Told her right from wrong, was her reality check, and as much as she despised it…it was something she really needed most of all.
He was someone she probably needed most of all.
Warm tears began to surface under her eyes, and Erika immediately cursed herself under her breath, quickly wiping the drops off her face, though some seemed to managed running down her cheeks. She despised crying, especially in front of people…especially in front of him. Unsurprisingly, he detected her tears. He was leaning over the table, a hand was reaching out to touch her cheek.
Her eyes averted once again to the outside of the window, only not focusing at the sky but at the sidewalk across the sidewalk as a black sports car rolled by from a distance.
Immediately, Ryo knew what she was looking at and recoiled back into his seat. She glanced back at him, watching as he pulled out his wallet, taking out some money and placed it on top of the table. He slowly stood up from his seat, and walked towards her. Before Erika made any comment, Nishikido stooped down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, a hand ran down the back of her head, as his fingers were tangled in the long strands of her hair. He pulled away carefully, staring back at her, disappointment set in his eyes.
“Ja ne” he whispered, his lips formed a sad smile. Erika sat there speechless; her eyes followed him walking out the door and into the rain, crossing paths with Takashiro.
She stood up from her seat, but immediately caught the eye of someone else. From outside, the man waved at her with a grin. She too waved back with a forced smile and slumped back into her seat, knowing it was too late to start over.