foiled again...
"are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
right now i feel invisible to you like i'm not real
didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
why'd you turn away? here's what i have to say..
i was left to cry there, waiting outside there
grinning with a lost stare...
that's when i decided why should i care?"
so yea, that's what i'm feeling right now. never thought i'd be on the receiving end of getting led on, but hey, life goes on, right?
so i know what you're thinking. wtf happened? okay, fine, i'll tell you.
Homecoming Night, 2004. "Enchantment Under the Sea Dance"
let me just start off by saying that i looked hott that night:) i went by myself, cause no one asked me, and none of my guy friends wanted to go with me. jerks. so i had an okay time, but it would have been so much better with a date. finally, the last slow song of the night, i got freakin tired of sitting on the sidelines watching the helium reaction fade away in the rediculous amount of balloons surrounding me. so, i finally caught eyes with this very cute surfer man who just happens to be my friends' RA. i went up to him and i said, "very cute surfer man (*aka Chuck*), i think that we should dance." i used his aka just in case you were wondering. so anyways, chuck pulls me in real close, my forehead to his pork chop sideburns, yes i said pork chop sideburns, and talked to me about anything. so we hung out and it was cool.
2 days later, i find myself spending the evening with him, started by him who asked me to play pool. i ended up beating the crap out of him, i know you're dying to know, and then he suggested that we all go to starbucks. so we went, everything was cool, then we came back and his guy friends like disappeared. we had all talked about going to the beach before that but then they left, so chuck looks at me and says "wanna go to the beach?" well hell yea i wanna go to the beach with you, alone, with the stars shining brightly in the sky. so we go. its amazing. couldnt have been more perfect. he put his arm around me and told me that his favorite dance at homecoming was his dance with me. we go back to school, he opens my door for me and takes me back to my dorm, gives me a hug and leaves me floating on cloud nine.
the next few days he acts a little differently towards me, like maybe the night before that was a dream. if i hung out with him, it felt like it was only because i was following him around or that it was completely one sided. so i backed off a little. then one night i told him that i wanted to get to know him better because i think he's a really cool guy, then he says that he thinks i'm awesome too... BUT. the big but. i hate buts. so something about this girl that he got to know and had feelings for, then she stopped talking to him. so poor guy's crushed over some stupid girl, okay fine, just friends, i can deal with that, its perfectly okay. so thats how the night ended. i ended up backing off like crazy so he wouldnt get any vibes like i was following him around because thats how he was making me feel, even though he acted soooo interested that night at homecoming and then at the beach.
which brings me to the events of last night. i went to this play and saw him there, and then afterwards me and my guy buddies were gonna go to the beach to chill and me and corey and katie were supposed to meet them at their room. Chuck lives with my guy buddies. but seriously, i had no intentions of seeing him last night. so we go up to their room and chill in the living room, trying to turn on a movie while our buddies finish their game of Halo (*aka life-sucking devil spawn game*) and chuck walks in. he starts setting up a movie with a dvd player announcing that his friends were coming up to watch some jim carey movie. we told him that we were going to the beach, but we'd stay until their halo game was over. i heard the door open, look over to see that its chuck's good friend maria, who didnt see me there. maria announces, "It's Julie!! hehehe, just playing, chuck." i look over at her, and she gives me this look like, "oh shit, i didnt know you were here!!" i'm perfectly friendly to her, even though she might as well have said, 'hey julie, me and chuck have been talking trash about you behind your back!' so then, i walk out of the room to go see my buddy JP's room, and when i come back, it hits me just what maria said when she walked in. i couldnt even sit in the same room with her and chuck. i walked out and into the halo room, where i noticed katie sitting in there, as she had moved from the main room to there. the she tells me that as soon as i left the main room, maria says, "she hates me, you can tell."
WTF? i've never given her any reason to think that i hate her. never! i've never been anything but perfectly nice to her. girls are insane.
so my guy friends are great, they tried their best to make me feel so much better. we all had a great time at the beach, which we left for right away when they found out something happened with chuck, and they ended their game prematurely. sweethearts.
"and i wanna believe you
when you tell me that it'll be okay
and i try to believe you
but i don't.
tomorrow it may change."
so, so much for chuck. only lasted long enough for one entry. kinda sad if you ask me. leave me love. things like this make me feel so alone in west palm.
right now i feel invisible to you like i'm not real
didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
why'd you turn away? here's what i have to say..
i was left to cry there, waiting outside there
grinning with a lost stare...
that's when i decided why should i care?"
so yea, that's what i'm feeling right now. never thought i'd be on the receiving end of getting led on, but hey, life goes on, right?
so i know what you're thinking. wtf happened? okay, fine, i'll tell you.
Homecoming Night, 2004. "Enchantment Under the Sea Dance"
let me just start off by saying that i looked hott that night:) i went by myself, cause no one asked me, and none of my guy friends wanted to go with me. jerks. so i had an okay time, but it would have been so much better with a date. finally, the last slow song of the night, i got freakin tired of sitting on the sidelines watching the helium reaction fade away in the rediculous amount of balloons surrounding me. so, i finally caught eyes with this very cute surfer man who just happens to be my friends' RA. i went up to him and i said, "very cute surfer man (*aka Chuck*), i think that we should dance." i used his aka just in case you were wondering. so anyways, chuck pulls me in real close, my forehead to his pork chop sideburns, yes i said pork chop sideburns, and talked to me about anything. so we hung out and it was cool.
2 days later, i find myself spending the evening with him, started by him who asked me to play pool. i ended up beating the crap out of him, i know you're dying to know, and then he suggested that we all go to starbucks. so we went, everything was cool, then we came back and his guy friends like disappeared. we had all talked about going to the beach before that but then they left, so chuck looks at me and says "wanna go to the beach?" well hell yea i wanna go to the beach with you, alone, with the stars shining brightly in the sky. so we go. its amazing. couldnt have been more perfect. he put his arm around me and told me that his favorite dance at homecoming was his dance with me. we go back to school, he opens my door for me and takes me back to my dorm, gives me a hug and leaves me floating on cloud nine.
the next few days he acts a little differently towards me, like maybe the night before that was a dream. if i hung out with him, it felt like it was only because i was following him around or that it was completely one sided. so i backed off a little. then one night i told him that i wanted to get to know him better because i think he's a really cool guy, then he says that he thinks i'm awesome too... BUT. the big but. i hate buts. so something about this girl that he got to know and had feelings for, then she stopped talking to him. so poor guy's crushed over some stupid girl, okay fine, just friends, i can deal with that, its perfectly okay. so thats how the night ended. i ended up backing off like crazy so he wouldnt get any vibes like i was following him around because thats how he was making me feel, even though he acted soooo interested that night at homecoming and then at the beach.
which brings me to the events of last night. i went to this play and saw him there, and then afterwards me and my guy buddies were gonna go to the beach to chill and me and corey and katie were supposed to meet them at their room. Chuck lives with my guy buddies. but seriously, i had no intentions of seeing him last night. so we go up to their room and chill in the living room, trying to turn on a movie while our buddies finish their game of Halo (*aka life-sucking devil spawn game*) and chuck walks in. he starts setting up a movie with a dvd player announcing that his friends were coming up to watch some jim carey movie. we told him that we were going to the beach, but we'd stay until their halo game was over. i heard the door open, look over to see that its chuck's good friend maria, who didnt see me there. maria announces, "It's Julie!! hehehe, just playing, chuck." i look over at her, and she gives me this look like, "oh shit, i didnt know you were here!!" i'm perfectly friendly to her, even though she might as well have said, 'hey julie, me and chuck have been talking trash about you behind your back!' so then, i walk out of the room to go see my buddy JP's room, and when i come back, it hits me just what maria said when she walked in. i couldnt even sit in the same room with her and chuck. i walked out and into the halo room, where i noticed katie sitting in there, as she had moved from the main room to there. the she tells me that as soon as i left the main room, maria says, "she hates me, you can tell."
WTF? i've never given her any reason to think that i hate her. never! i've never been anything but perfectly nice to her. girls are insane.
so my guy friends are great, they tried their best to make me feel so much better. we all had a great time at the beach, which we left for right away when they found out something happened with chuck, and they ended their game prematurely. sweethearts.
"and i wanna believe you
when you tell me that it'll be okay
and i try to believe you
but i don't.
tomorrow it may change."
so, so much for chuck. only lasted long enough for one entry. kinda sad if you ask me. leave me love. things like this make me feel so alone in west palm.