(no subject)
So I do my worst thinking at night. You know, the kind of thinking that gets you in trouble the next day or you wake up thinking about what you thought and then you think, 'Wow, what would have happened if I had actually gone through with that when it seemed like a great idea last night?' I mean, really. Phone in hand, 1AM calling the ex seemed like a great idea. You just want him to know you still care. Next morning, oh yea! He cheated on me and does cocaine. REALLY! (btw that was just an example and has nothing to do with my actual life)
So here I am writing in my livejournal account which I have been abruptly reminded on my homepage here that I have not updated in 157 weeks. That is a. long. time. If I were livejournal, I would have broken up with me a long time ago. Alas, here I am doing my worst thinking in text on the internet. Well, it all seemed like a good idea at the time...
So, LJ, since I've been gone, I've graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Television Production with the title of Outstanding Graduate in the School of Communication and Media. Big whoop. I was practically engaged to a man I loved and that failed. So now I have a pretty cool job and I'm facing all of life's for real issues that require me to actually think for myself. And I gotta say, I don't think I'm doing so hot. Sitting here wondering when my conscience is going to kick it doesn't seem like a healthy way to go. I'm wondering if it works anymore on one hand, and on the other I feel like I would be in a lot more trouble if it didn't.
I feel as though humans try and relate all their feelings and emotions to the music they listen to. If an emotion has been felt with enough intensity, a brave soul has written a song about it. So why is it so necessary to find a song you can relate to? And worse yet, what happens if a song is not to be found about what you're feeling? Does that mean it's wrong??? Does that mean that what you're feeling has never been felt by anyone before or that it hasn't been felt strongly enough for a song? I know at least I have gone madly digging through my ipod looking for that perfect song to put on repeat for 8 days straight. Or, even better, sitting there rummaging through emotion when a song on the radio gently taps on the trap door of the brain. and BAM. there it is, just like that. if you don't have that track already, you're on itunes within the hour downloading that biznitch. Then repeat, repeat, repeat until you've waded your way through the motions of your phase. And you always don't think it's a phase. It's always REAL, whatever you're going through. "Not this time, no no, this time is REAL." wtf does that mean anyway? ....is everything a phase?
To take that thought to the next level... is the brain convinced to go with whatever direction the author of said repeat song has gone? and then to think of that....what if what you thought the song was EXACTLY about was actually about EXACTLY the opposite of what you're feeling?
People say to 'go with your gut instinct'. So what I'm proposing is that we check out where our instinct is coming from. I guess. I do enjoy finding that one perfect song. However, it scares me to think how easily swayed I am. I've also been told that I listen to what people say to me too much. (a tad ironic, that statement)I don't really know what else to say. Except for the fact that most days I think something thoughtful and feel like I should write about it. Finally it happened at a moment when I was at my computer actually being contemplative.
Oh well. Happy reading. Sorry it's so long.
So here I am writing in my livejournal account which I have been abruptly reminded on my homepage here that I have not updated in 157 weeks. That is a. long. time. If I were livejournal, I would have broken up with me a long time ago. Alas, here I am doing my worst thinking in text on the internet. Well, it all seemed like a good idea at the time...
So, LJ, since I've been gone, I've graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Television Production with the title of Outstanding Graduate in the School of Communication and Media. Big whoop. I was practically engaged to a man I loved and that failed. So now I have a pretty cool job and I'm facing all of life's for real issues that require me to actually think for myself. And I gotta say, I don't think I'm doing so hot. Sitting here wondering when my conscience is going to kick it doesn't seem like a healthy way to go. I'm wondering if it works anymore on one hand, and on the other I feel like I would be in a lot more trouble if it didn't.
I feel as though humans try and relate all their feelings and emotions to the music they listen to. If an emotion has been felt with enough intensity, a brave soul has written a song about it. So why is it so necessary to find a song you can relate to? And worse yet, what happens if a song is not to be found about what you're feeling? Does that mean it's wrong??? Does that mean that what you're feeling has never been felt by anyone before or that it hasn't been felt strongly enough for a song? I know at least I have gone madly digging through my ipod looking for that perfect song to put on repeat for 8 days straight. Or, even better, sitting there rummaging through emotion when a song on the radio gently taps on the trap door of the brain. and BAM. there it is, just like that. if you don't have that track already, you're on itunes within the hour downloading that biznitch. Then repeat, repeat, repeat until you've waded your way through the motions of your phase. And you always don't think it's a phase. It's always REAL, whatever you're going through. "Not this time, no no, this time is REAL." wtf does that mean anyway? ....is everything a phase?
To take that thought to the next level... is the brain convinced to go with whatever direction the author of said repeat song has gone? and then to think of that....what if what you thought the song was EXACTLY about was actually about EXACTLY the opposite of what you're feeling?
People say to 'go with your gut instinct'. So what I'm proposing is that we check out where our instinct is coming from. I guess. I do enjoy finding that one perfect song. However, it scares me to think how easily swayed I am. I've also been told that I listen to what people say to me too much. (a tad ironic, that statement)I don't really know what else to say. Except for the fact that most days I think something thoughtful and feel like I should write about it. Finally it happened at a moment when I was at my computer actually being contemplative.
Oh well. Happy reading. Sorry it's so long.