(no subject)
In this hole
That is me
The dead are rolling over
In this hole
Thickening
Dirt shoveled over shoulders
I feel it in me
So overwhelmed
Oh, this pressured center rising
My life overturned
Unfair the despare
All these scars keep ripping open
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear meat from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?
In this hole
That is me
A life that's growing feeble
In this hole
So limiting
The sun has set; all darkens
Buried underneath
Hands slip off the wheel
Internal path-way to contention
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear meat from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?
Are you
HAPPY
Are you
HAPPY
Are you feeling happy?
In this hole
That is me
Left with a heart exhausted
What's my release??
What sets me free?
Do you pull me up just to push me down again?
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear meat from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy?
Peel me from the skiiiiiiiiiin
Peel me from the skiiiiiiiiiin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear me from the boooooooooone
Tear me from the boooooooooone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy?
Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost left with nothing
Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost left with nothing?
yeah that song has been stuck my head for a few days now, pulling my first homework all nighter of the year, ive been flooded with homework when i thought it would be an easy year. my mood swings have gotten alot worse and unpridictable lately. well as for my life, i got on the front page of the Marietta Daily Journal and i was like wow my rents are gonna be proud cuz it was a huge pic of me with the governer of GA and what does my dad do? he yells at me for what i am wearing, nothing is good enough for them and they think i dont try at all when all i have ever done was live up to thier standerds. i know im not book smart but i try to make it up in other areas. i just wish they could understand what went on in my head. im quitting smoking i think. depends on how the next few days treat me. marshall is back and thats one thing im glad of, i like the relationship me and him have, its always a challenge for me cuz he is more of the person i wish i could be and im pretty sure he doesnt know that. him and me have been to the driving range or chipping in my backyard almost everyday since hes gotten back and its been nice. friday/saturday was one of those nights of the past that i thought would never come back cuz things had changed so much but it was everything it used to be.
im finally starting to let go of the worry and hatred and insecurities and just coming to accept who i am, its been haunting me for a long time. im sorry for all that i have chased away and im sorry for all that i have kept around. im going to do homework goodnight