sleeping forever would be a nice way to die.

[shailey90]

even though ive started watching where i step,
i dont trip anymore while walking
but lately all i seem to do in life is trip
over people, over their feelings
when i think i have a clear way.

these emotional rollercoasters,
im not really into them as much
as i would normally.
the days where im happy, or i seem to be
after i decide to think and analyze what
really happend is that i was just entertaining
people and they just liked what they heard.
but when im sad. i think thats when reality
shows me what i truly should feel and
how the people i call friends (who knows if they
really consider me a friend- i need to relook it up)
really feel about me.

my emotional ties are being stretched so far
i cant really grasp them anymore
what self-esteem i have seems to be
falling away and whatever confidence i seem
to have dwindles in the fire, being burnt.

im just fucking myself over as i always do
because im naiive, and i like to be fair
see life and people for the good in them,
but when they show their dark ambitions,
their secret agendas in a pleasant speech
why do i always believe them, why do i let
myself be lead on ?
why?
i just dont understand.

i feel so alone with a crowd of pople
i call friends, im not sure what is what
who is who.
i just feel lonely, no one has empathy.
all i ever do when listening to people is
"mhmm" 'mmmm" 'oh wow" "oh i see"
i just want to sleep forever.