A great solution to auxiliary results of security measures

[shahrzad]

“Like a hardy strain of the avian flu, the random search of passenger bags has spread to New York City’s subway system, and the group that will be the most unconvinced is women. A man might carry a bag for his workout cloths, his schoolbooks, or his laptop, but businessmen carrying only their wallets and keys in pockets can ride the subway secure in the knowledge that prying fingers won’t be rifling through their property. Many women on their way to work - even the ones who don’t work out, aren’t going to school, and can’t afford laptops - are obligated by pocketless dress pants and skirts to carry a bag, if only to keep from having to stash tampons, money and Metrocards in their bras. So, to all the women who take public transportation to their jobs in New York and elsewhere, I say, “Let’s make a deal.” Lets keep constitutionally questionable bag searches at bay by making ever day Bring a Dildo to Work Day.

Only the biggest and most realistic models will do (no dolphins or ballerina legs, please) When asked to remove items form you bag, point the head at you interrogator and shake the dildo slightly for emphasis as you put on your most innocent face to ask, “You mean ... this?” Watch and enjoy!”

-Ren Jender, “Search Me: A Modest Proposal”