(no subject)
So... here I am. Still wishing there was a better way. Still trying to resist those two or three girls that I should absolutely, positively stay away from; no matter how much fun it might be to go party a little bit and have some much deserved fun. I'm still hanging in there though!! Still working the Bar, and loving it; no longer working the day job, sucks. Of course I need more money and I will be finding another day-time occupation soon (one that pays more). I'm doing pretty well but I'm constantly more and more sick of the same old Bullshit that seems to be obligatory in the average, normal, every day run of things. IT BLOWS!! Still living single in the graceland of Valdosta. I have absolutley & once again, POSITIVELY sworn off messing around with ANY girl I meet in the Bar. I know that all women are crazy but it seems that the craziest of them all frequent the hot spot that is Rascal's Bar and Grill on the weekends. At least the one's I meet... But anyway the three I have seen since being here have shocked me back into alignment.
I'm tired of fucking around with work and with girls. It doesn't bring any satisfaction anymore, but it does seem to bring the occasional regret and regret and regret and heartache over past occurances. It's not worth it anymore. I just wish I could meet somebody that's worth actually taking an interest in, someone that's worth putting some effort into knowing. The last one I was with that was worth knowing I fucked over; and it kills me to no end that I could do to someone what I've complained about to no end. I guess I'm a hypocrite and I deserve the pain. But I'll never be that person again; I experimented with that person for over a year and I only killed the things I loved and didn't even realize it until later. And now I'm far away from those things and can't seem to make things right.
Of course I'm still on the journey. You know, realizing who I am, what's going on, and what the fuck I think about that. Coming along good though. Kind of. Making lot's of new acquaintences and a few more new friends here in Val, Ga. Hopefully it will turn into a life if I ever accept it long enough to live like I should. I'm getting there though; and having a few good times along the way.
I miss my friends. I need to go back to Okeechobee for a visit and see people. Make some apologies and beg for forgiveness of one or a billion people. God willing it will be sometime soon. I hope so...
Well I just got home from work not to long ago and need to go to sleep and get ready for tonight so I'm out. More soon from your continuous source of rock n roll (yeah). Shahin out
I'm tired of fucking around with work and with girls. It doesn't bring any satisfaction anymore, but it does seem to bring the occasional regret and regret and regret and heartache over past occurances. It's not worth it anymore. I just wish I could meet somebody that's worth actually taking an interest in, someone that's worth putting some effort into knowing. The last one I was with that was worth knowing I fucked over; and it kills me to no end that I could do to someone what I've complained about to no end. I guess I'm a hypocrite and I deserve the pain. But I'll never be that person again; I experimented with that person for over a year and I only killed the things I loved and didn't even realize it until later. And now I'm far away from those things and can't seem to make things right.
Of course I'm still on the journey. You know, realizing who I am, what's going on, and what the fuck I think about that. Coming along good though. Kind of. Making lot's of new acquaintences and a few more new friends here in Val, Ga. Hopefully it will turn into a life if I ever accept it long enough to live like I should. I'm getting there though; and having a few good times along the way.
I miss my friends. I need to go back to Okeechobee for a visit and see people. Make some apologies and beg for forgiveness of one or a billion people. God willing it will be sometime soon. I hope so...
Well I just got home from work not to long ago and need to go to sleep and get ready for tonight so I'm out. More soon from your continuous source of rock n roll (yeah). Shahin out