My 2012 "This I believe" essay
My neighbors in my cohousing community have a great tradition in which those who are moved to do so write essays on "this I believe" (an American public radio feature) and we read them to each other on NY day. I thought I'd post mine this year.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
You've got an impressive background :) I was very good at school but more on the only-okay side at the university (and didn't mind a lot). It sometimes made me wonder whether I could've been a lot better, had I invested more time, or whether I just hit my personal limits. 2011 was the first year in quite some time in which I felt like dipping into my real potential, leaving my comfort zone and doing new things or expanding old things.
I know that I do not use my time effectively. I spend a lot of time on relaxation reading...
:) There are many articles about how people could learn to slow down, so - do you think this "not effectively" is really your own judgment or more of an external "I should be more effective because everyone rates effectiveness and perfect time management so highly"?
But I am back to the serenity prayer -- is this something I can change, or should change, or should I accept where I am right now?
Change usually comes from feeling strongly unsatisfied or hitting a painful roadblock. To me, from this posting, it doesn't read as if you are in that position (yet?).
How about doing something new in a completely other field? Just to get that new perspective we talked about in my climbing post? Stretch your wings a little, leave that very comfortable spot and do something new and challenging (to you, no matter how silly it may look from the outside - with my fear of heights, being 2m above the ground is already an achievement!).
Thanks again for this interesting posting, and good luck in your soul-searching :)
Reply
I wonder sometimes too -- in some ways I "should" be at a better university than I am, based on my undergrad, PhD and postdoc background. Things that probably kept me back are my social phobia / desire to avoid the really high pressure environments, as well as the typical female academic concerns of accommodating my partner and wanting time to have children, and my desire to not live in any part of the US that is any further east or north of where I live now (i.e., almost the whole country :) ). Really, though, I am able to do pretty much everything I want at the university I am at now, and it has the advantage of being located in a amazing city to live in as well. Again, I am fortunate.
:) There are many articles about how people could learn to slow down, so - do you think this "not effectively" is really your own judgment or more of an external "I should be more effective because everyone rates effectiveness and perfect time management so highly"?
A good question.... I know that my low productivity is probably another person's high productivity, and that I certainly have been affected by the norms of the American subculture I was raised in that emphasizes achievement and productivity. Some of the motivation for working harder is that I think I might be able to significantly improve the research results I am getting, and that might be worth it.
Change usually comes from feeling strongly unsatisfied or hitting a painful roadblock. To me, from this posting, it doesn't read as if you are in that position (yet?).
Nope -- some mild to moderate dissatisfactions only, and no real roadblocks.
I like the idea of doing something completely new.... not sure what if anything is calling to me right now. There are a lot of hobbies that I used to have before I had kids that I could return to. Hmm. One problem is timing -- I am usually so tired in the evenings that that isn't a good time, yet lots of activities are mainly scheduled in the evenings. One reason that despite knowing that I would benefit from going to more local poly events, I don't often end up actually attending.
Reply
Leave a comment