Venus Rising
Title: Venus Rising
Author: shaggydogstail
Pairing/Characters: Anna/Ruby, Anna/Lucifer, Castiel, Sam and Dean, Crowley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, violence, character death
Summary: Fresh out of hell, Anna's got her own reasons for wanting to stop the apocalypse. AU.
Recipient/Prompt: For familiardevil at spn_women: When Anna fell, she didn't go to earth; she went to hell. After thousands of years of torture, she escapes from hell when the gates are opened by Sam and Dean. She isn't an angel and she isn't a demon, but somewhere in between, a fallen angel who is tortured by her years and hell and yet still fights for good. Bonus points for demon!Anna who still fights for the good side, complete with black eyes and everything. I want a happy ending, but it can be the sort of ending where it's sort of ambiguous too.
Spoilers: Through all aired episodes
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit
Author notes:: Thanks to violetisblue for the beta job.
She's been here over two thousand years, local time, and still Anna's not seen anything like it. Hell is in uproar; a twisted prison of flesh, bone, and fear makes a disarming setting for a celebration, yet here it is. Demons dance through the flames, and the Pit echoes with their victory calls, loud enough tonight to drown out the cries of despair from the newer, damned souls. It's a ghastly carnival, a festival of blood, and - to coin a phrase - one hell of a party.
Anna is in no mood for partying, doesn't feel like celebrating. She curls in on herself and sobs silently, hands over her head in a futile effort to drown out the chant:
LUCIFER RISES!
#
"Bring her back." Anna's wiped the tears off her face, brushed her hair and holds her head high. She's prepared to beg if she has to, but she hopes it won't come to that. She doubts it would work, anyway.
Lucifer smiles at her, self-satisfied and seductive. "Why would I want to do that?"
"She set you free," says Anna, imploring. "Only Ruby could've done it, only she knew what to do. The risks she took, the sacrifices she made, all for you. She deserves her reward."
"She was a demon," replies Lucifer coldly. "Lower even than a human. Trash from the bottom of the can."
"Without that 'trash' you'd still be stuck in the pit," says Anna.
"Ruby was... useful, I'll grant you," says Lucifer. "But to suggest that I, an angel, should feel obligated towards a demon? Really, Anna, you forget yourself."
Anna fought Lucifer once before, for Heaven, before either of them fell, but she never wanted to blast his face off quite as much as she would now. It won't do any good, though, however much he deserves it, so she swallows her pride and puts aside any trace of self-respect that hasn't already burned away in the fires of damnation. She falls to her knees before Lucifer, buries her head in his lap.
"Please," she says - begs, pleads, implores - "bring her back for me."
"Oh, my sweet, lost little sister," coos Lucifer. He slides the crook of his finger beneath Anna's chin and uses it to coax her gaze upwards, until she's looking into his eyes. He looks sad. "You have forgotten yourself, haven't you? Left all alone amidst the dregs of humanity for so long, little wonder you sought out what solace you could find."
"Bring her back." Anna gulps. "I just want her back."
Lucifer shakes his head. "No angel should be so in thrall to a mere demon. It is beneath you, Anna."
"She was all I had," says Anna. "The only one..."
"I know, I know," says Lucifer softly. He strokes Anna's hair as he speaks. "But you're not alone any more. You will stand by my side as I achieve paradise, and you can find love more worthy of your station."
He kisses her, and Anna acquiesces. She feigns comfort in Lucifer's caresses, and allows him to believe that it's desire, not desperation, that makes her cling to him as he fucks her.
If there's one thing Anna knows all about, it's picking her battles.
#
Lucifer returns from raising Death full of triumph and his own self-importance. Anna tells him how wonderful he is, of course, and though she feels bad for all those people who had to die she's smart enough to keep that to herself. Still, there is something a bit thrilling about the spectacle of it all, the raw drama, and the sheer breaking the rules defiance. She envies Lucifer that, the freedom to get out, to act, to make things happen more than anything.
Maybe Lucifer knows what she needs. He keeps telling her he does, after all.
"You see this," he says, showing her an old gun she's heard about before. Ruby told her all about the Colt. "It's a gift. For you."
Anna takes the gun, eyes wide in shock. "For me?" she says. "Why?"
"I want you to find out who gave that gun to Dean Winchester," Lucifer tells her. "Then, I want you to use it to kill them."
"How very... poetic," says Anna, smiling as she runs a finger down the barrel of the Colt.
Lucifer grabs her around the waist, pulling Anna towards him and kissing her forcefully. "You deserve a little fun."
"Yes," agrees Anna. "I do, don't I?"
#
Anna knows it'll take a while to track down the Winchester brothers directly, so she goes after the next best thing: their own little personal guardian angel. Who just happens to be her old friend Castiel - and, my oh my, haven't things changed for him? Anna would never have predicted his disobedience, faithful little puppy that he always was.
Of course, she'd never have predicted that she'd end up working for Lucifer herself, even when she made the decision to take her, ah, sabbatical from heaven, so it looks like Chuck Berry was right: You really never can tell.
She's sidestepped the whole messy, fraught issue of finding a vessel by convincing Lucifer to create an approximation of a human form for her - the ultimate in plastic surgery, but the cute little redhead seems able to contain her. Anna thinks the body suits her, and dresses it in an oh-so-pretty virgin-white dress, for irony's sake, and spike-heeled shiny red boots, just because. It's fun, the dressing up part; the sin of pride, Anna supposes, another for the collection. She covers sloth by omitting to wear any panties.
Finding Castiel is easy enough. There are demons supposed to be watching him, but Anna doubts many of them are up to keeping pace with an angel. Besides, she'd rather do things her own way. Rather than go searching for Castiel herself, she decides just to call him, and wait for him to come to her. Naturally she chooses to meet Castiel in a church - the Lady Chapel in the Church of St. Mary the Virgin, New York, to be precise. It's ever so pretty.
Castiel takes all of five seconds to appear, eager as ever apparently. Well, it's nice to know some things haven't changed.
"Hey, Cas."
"Anna."
Castiel looks suspicious, wary, as well he might. Anna's current address isn't exactly a secret, and she was always much stronger than him. It's kind of fun watching Castiel squirm as Anna strolls up to him. She leans in close, whispers in his ear when she speaks;
"I hear you've been a very naughty angel," she says.
Castiel flinches. "What do you want?"
"I want to show you something," Anna tells him, pulling the Colt out of her pocket. "Lucifer brought me back a souvenir from Carthage."
"You're going to kill me," says Castiel. He says it simply, without anger, like he's stating a simple fact.
"And why would I want to do that?" asks Anna, lifting the gun and using it to stroke the side of Castiel's face. "Revenge, hm? After you helped Michael cast me into the Pit?"
Surprisingly, Castiel has no answer. Shame, really, because Anna'd been looking forward to hearing how it was all her own fault, if only so she could tell Castiel to stick his sanctimonious bullshit where God's grace doesn't shine. She drops the gun to her side, and takes a step back.
"But no," she continues. "I'm not going to kill you. At least, not today. I just want you to tell me where the Winchesters got it from."
Castiel looks surprised, and more suspicious than ever. Anna sighs - she hopes he isn't going to be difficult about this.
"What does it matter?" he asks at last.
Anna smirks, and steps towards him again. She presses her body against Castiel's, her hand resting on his chest and the tip of the gun under his chin.
"Hell's internal disciplinary proceedings are no concern of yours," Anna says. "Just tell me who gave the Winchesters the Colt."
"And if I don't?" asks Castiel, who must still be pretty new at the whole defiance gig to ask a question like that with a gun pointing at his head.
Anna purses her lips, and makes a great show of fiddling with Castiel's tie, smoothing down the front of his shirt. Castiel's stock-still - whether with revulsion or fear, Anna doesn't much care. She leans back into him, the gun just touching his cheek as she whispers into his other ear, "Then maybe I'll have to phone a friend."
She steps back, holding up Castiel's cell phone. "Now, let's see - how quickly do you think your friend Dean will come running if I give him a quick call? If I'm really lucky, he'll bring Sam along too - Lucifer's ready for a dress fitting now."
Castiel's expression darkens. "Don't," he says.
"And if I do?" counters Anna. "You wouldn't stand a chance fighting me, and you can't run and tell tales to Michael anymore."
She's giving away more than she should, Anna knows, but it still rankles. She thought Castiel was her friend, the only one she trusted enough to share her plan with, but he'd chosen heaven's rules over Anna, and stood by as she was cast into perdition as punishment for her disobedience.
"I didn't know," says Castiel quietly.
"Didn't know what?"
"That Michael would... condemn you," says Castiel.
Anna lets out a hollow laugh. "What did you expect? I wanted to leave heaven, to become human. I wanted to be free. Heaven wouldn't stand for that."
Castiel's looking down at the ground. "I didn't want you to go. To fall. You wouldn't stay for me, and I didn't know how else to stop you."
"And why did it matter so much to you?" demands Anna.
Castiel looks up at her at last, his expression stricken. "You know why."
Anna stares at him for several moments and, yeah, she knows why. She might even feel sorry for Castiel, if two thousand years in hell hadn't burned up so much of her sympathy.
"Is it because you love me so much?" she asks, taunting. "You should've come with me then. We could've been human together, wouldn't that've been fun? I might even have fucked you."
"Don't be like that."
"Be like what? Like this." Anna glares at Castiel, her eyes jet-black. He flinches and tries to turn away, but Anna takes hold of his chin and forces him to look at her. "This is what your love did to me. So don't go looking for any consideration from me, and don't you dare tell me what to do."
She pushes him away, roughly, and turns away in disgust.
"The Winchesters were given the Colt by a demon," says Castiel. "His name is Crowley. They believed he wanted them to kill Lucifer because Lucifer hates humans, and thinks even less of demons."
Well, this Crowley sounds like he isn't a complete idiot, even if he did over-estimate the Colt's power. Shame she has to kill him. Anna beams at Castiel, and throws him his phone.
"Thank you," she says. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some smiting to do."
"Anna, wait!" calls Castiel. He makes an awkward movement, like he's trying to reach out to her and recoiling in horror at the same time. It's almost laughable. "Please, you don't... you don't have to do this."
"Do what, Castiel?" says Anna. She treats him to another show of demonic eyeball. "This?"
"Work for hell," says Castiel. "For Lucifer."
"You still don't get it, do you?" says Anna. "I don't work for anyone but myself."
#
There's no good reason for Anna to fuck Crowley, but she does it anyway. She likes the idea that next time she speaks to Lucifer, it'll be through a mouth that's sucked demon cock. Such petty, adolescent acts of rebellion should be beneath her, but, well, Anna's a creature of the underworld now. Nothing's beneath her.
Crowley's good-natured charm and idle patter can't hide the fact that he's scared, very scared, although maybe not of the right people. As a kindness, Anna lets him get dressed before she starts to interrogate him about his wish to kill Lucifer.
"And why would I want to do a thing like that?" asks Crowley as he pours them both a large drink.
"Oh, I've been hearing rumors that you're none too sure that Lucifer is the best thing for demons," Anna tells him. "That's why you gave the Winchesters the gun."
"Gun?" Crowley offers Anna a bemused smile as he sets her glass down in front of her. "I don't know what you're talking about, sweetheart."
"Oh, I think you do," retorts Anna, producing the Colt and aiming it squarely between Crowley's eyes. "And don't try to wriggle your way out of it - it's a terrible sin to lie to an angel, you know."
Crowley raises his hands in an "busted" gesture. "OK, you got me," he admits.
"Glad to see you're keeping up."
"Which just begs the question," says Crowley, "if you know all about how I helped the Winchesters, how come I'm still alive? Or do you angels always screw your victims before you kill them?"
"Nah, that's just me," says Anna. "And it's only the ones I like. Besides, I think you can help me."
"Don't tell me, if I co-operate like a good little fall guy, you might just spare my life." Crowley makes a face. "I wasn't born yesterday."
"Fine, you tell me who you've been working with, and I'll make it quick," says Anna. "That is, unless you'd rather I handed you over to Lucifer."
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that even when she's pointing a gun at his head, Anna represents the lesser of two evils.
"The grunts on the staff didn't know anything," says Crowley. "Look, there's no great conspiracy to overthrow Lucifer if that's what you're wondering. Most of the demons I've heard from are wetting themselves with excitement over the great Morning Star, and the ones that aren't so keen are keeping their heads down. Which is what I should be doing, instead of banging the first pretty angel that passes my way."
Unfortunately for Crowley, he is telling the truth. There's just one thing Anna's still curious about, though. "If you didn't have help, where did you get the gun from?"
"From the same con-artist who stole it from the Winchesters in the first place. Woman by the name of Bela Talbot," Crowley tells her. He's getting chatty now, and his tone is friendly, relaxed. Anna guesses he's hoping to develop some sort of rapport with her, because maybe that can help him. It won't.
"Well, I say woman," Crowley continues. "She was still human back then, anyway. Tried to use it as a bargaining chip to wriggle out of her deal. Not that it did her any good - some things can't be undone."
"Perhaps," says Anna thoughtfully. "Well, thank you for your assistance. You've been very helpful."
Crowley's smile gives away more nerves than he'd probably like. "So does that mean you're not going to kill me after all?" he says. "I can think of much better ways to spend the evening."
"Tempting, but no," says Anna. "I like you a lot, Crowley, just not enough to go up against Lucifer."
She doesn't hang around after she's killed him. Anna's got work to do.
#
Wrapped in Lucifer's arms, Anna makes the right moves and the right noises, but her mind is elsewhere. She thinks about Ruby, and about death. Today wasn't the first time she'd killed a demon, and she remembers the spark of excitement Ruby sometimes got from killing - the power to take a life could be quite a turn-on. Anna isn't aroused by Crowley's death, though, and doesn't feel righteous about it either. The death of another living being - even if it was only a demon - depresses her. She doesn't feel guilty, exactly, just a little bit colder, harder inside.
This isn't how it's going to be, Anna resolves, as Lucifer grunts and thrusts, and Anna gouges ridges into his shoulder blades. If Ruby taught her anything at all, it's the importance of doing things your own way, that no one will give you freedom, you just have to take it.
Anna's ready to fight, and she's not going to fight for Lucifer or for Michael, or even for Castiel's third way. No, the only battles that Anna's interested in are her own.
#
Having a plan makes things so much simpler. Honestly, Anna wonders why she didn't just think of this in the first place.
She tracks the Winchester brothers down with a bit of good old-fashioned sleuthing - check out the latest apocalypse hot spots, and cruise around the neighboring motel joints. It takes her less than a week to find Sam and Dean a few miles outside of Nowheresville, Minnesota, about to gatecrash a demon party and spoil all the fun. Killjoys.
"Woah!"
Dean seems understandably surprised when Anna shows up in his motel room. Sam's a little more on the ball, and has a gun trained on her in an instant. (To be fair, Dean might've taken aim himself, if he hadn't just that moment stepped out of the bathroom in a threadbare and less-than-generous towel. Anna does like to pick her moments.)
"Easy now, tiger, I come in peace," says Anna, raising her hands.
"Yeah?" says Dean. "Well, who the hell are you?"
"And how did you get in here?" adds Sam.
"When the room's so very well protected against demons?" says Anna. "That's because I'm not a demon. I'm an angel."
This revelation doesn't exactly diffuse the tension in the air. If anything, Dean looks more suspicious than ever.
"Angel, right," he says. "I suppose Zachariah sent you? Or Michael? Which of the dicks with wings do you work for?"
Anna rolls her eyes. Nominally at least she works for Lucifer, of course, but she's gonna keep that one to herself. "Oh, I don't work for anyone," she says. "Back in the day I had a whole garrison of those dicks with wings working for me - including your friend Castiel."
Sam and Dean share a look that - well, it could mean anything at all, actually. Anna's not exactly up to speed with the intricacies of human behavior. By some unspoken agreement Dean picks up a cell phone off the table and heads back into the bathroom, while Sam keeps the gun fixed firmly on Anna.
"You don't have to keep pointing that thing at me, you know," says Anna. "It's not a very nice way to treat a guest."
"Guests are people you invite over," says Sam. "You just barged in unannounced."
"I guess that's true," concedes Anna. "Plus, it's not like that thing could do me any harm even if you did fire it. Unlike, say, this."
She pulls the Colt out of her back pocket and twirls it around between her fingers.
Sam's still gaping as Dean re-emerges from the bathroom - fully dressed this time. Shame.
"Where did you get that?" they chorus, just as Castiel appears in the middle of the room.
"Anna!" he says, looking rather more pleased to see her than he did last time.
"Hiya, Cas!" Anna bounces across the room and hugs Castiel enthusiastically. He couldn't look more confused if it were an Olympic event. Anna carries on regardless, linking an arm with Castiel's (while still keeping a firm grip on the Colt in her other hand) and turning to grin at Sam and Dean.
"Cas, do you know this chick?" asks Dean.
Castiel carefully extricates himself from Anna's grip before answering. "Anna was the leader of my garrison in heaven," he says, "before she fell."
"Fell as in leaving heaven, like you did?" Sam asks.
"I fell a bit further," says Anna, her eyes black. "I'm a real Hell's Angel."
"What?" Dean steps forward, shielding Sam as if by instinct. Castiel grabs Anna's arm and pulls her back a couple of feet.
"Anna, why did you come here?" he asks. Poor Castiel, he looks so confused - equal parts concern and hope. "Are you going to help us?"
"Curiosity," says Anna. "You know how that always was my weakness. One of them anyway."
"Curiosity," repeats Castiel.
"Hm," agrees Anna. "I was wondering about this here gun. See, you know now it won't kill Lucifer, and my guess is it won't work on any archangel. But would it work on their hosts?"
"Anna..." says Castiel warningly.
"Or rather, would it work enough?" Anna continues. "Obviously Michael and Lucifer are both up to raising a vessel, but if the Colt can kill a demon, maybe it can obliterate a human soul beyond all hope of resurrection."
Castiel steps in front of her, standing squarely between Anna and the Winchesters. He looks furious, angrier than Anna's ever seen him, as he answers with a single word: "No."
"You sure about that?" asks Anna. "You don't even know which one I might kill."
"Hey, no-one is killing anyone, d'ya hear?" calls Dean, who might have a lot more to say on the matter if his brother weren't dragging him back.
"I'm sure you take the task of guarding the holy vessel of the great and mighty Michael terribly seriously," says Anna, "but surely guarding Lucifer's vessel was never part of your remit. There is only the one, after all. No Sam, no way for Lucifer to walk the Earth - once rent-a-vessel's worn out it'll be straight back to the pit for him. I'd practically be doing you a favor."
"Leave them be," says Castiel, his expression stony. "Both of them."
"You really have changed, haven't you?" says Anna thoughtfully. "For the better."
Castiel simply looks puzzled as Anna tucks the gun away again. "Oh, relax," she says. "If I really wanted to kill anyone, you'd all be dead by now."
"Yeah?" says Dean. "You mind telling us what you are here for, or did you just show up to mess with Cas' head?"
"Nah, the head messing was just a bonus," Anna tells him. "I just thought I'd pop by and let you know I've come up with a way to stop the apocalypse."
"Just like that?" asks Sam.
"Just like that," confirms Anna. "It's perfectly simple, really."
"So, you wanna share this plan with the group?" asks Dean.
"Of course." Anna beams at the three less-than-impressed faces before her. And then she tells them.
#
Saving the world - and saving Ruby - is a blink-and-miss-it-affair.
Anna arrives at St. Mary's Convent, Ilchester, at the very same moment as Castiel appears, both of them materializing in exactly the spots Sam described for them. Castiel presses his fingers to Sam's forehead as Anna takes hold of Ruby, before anyone has a chance to react. As a final touch, Castiel unlocks the door while Anna shouts, "Run!" to Lilith, before disappearing with Ruby in her arms, Castiel following on her heels.
When Dean Winchester pushes the door open and runs into the chapel he finds Sam alone, asleep on the floor.
All-in-all, it takes less than a second to preserve the final seal, prevent the apocalypse, and save Ruby's life. Not bad going, if Anna does say so herself.
#
Ruby's a little less sure of the genius of Anna's time-travelling antics, going from anger and frustration at having her plans thwarted, to resentful melancholy when Anna explains that Lucifer had no place for Ruby in his apocalyptic future.
"It was all for nothing," she says when she's shouted herself out, kicking the floor and looking away from Anna.
Anna moves towards Ruby, takes both of Ruby's hands in her own. At last Ruby raises her head to look at her, and Anna smiles. "Never trust an angel."
She leans in and kisses Ruby, softly at first, then harder, as Ruby presses their bodies together and tugs at Anna's hair. There's something desperate, almost feral, about the way Ruby tears Anna's clothes from her, pushes her to the ground, and holds her down. Anna fights back - co-operates, retorts - with more kisses, bites to Ruby's neck, and hands reaching wildly for every each of flesh.
This is what she wanted, what makes it all worthwhile Anna knows, as she ruts up against Ruby in the dirt of an old cemetery. The taste of Ruby's cunt, the heat of her body, and the scrape of Ruby's teeth over her breasts.
When they're worn out, messed-up and filthy with mud, spit, and sweat, Ruby pulls Anna close, strokes the grass from her hair.
"You could've had paradise," says Ruby.
"Yeah," agrees Anna absently, sliding one leg between Ruby's and wrapping her arm around Ruby's waist. "But I'd rather have this."
#
Anna and Ruby keep a low profile in the months following the "oops, nearly" apocalypse incident. Anna glosses over the details of Ruby's death at Sam and Dean's hands, knowing that there's no way she could dissuade Ruby from killing the pair of them in return. Not that Anna has much in the way of sympathy with the Winchesters - on the contrary, they're pretty much her least favorite people still alive - but she has no appetite for death or vengeance. Besides, cutting short the apocalypse sent Anna straight to the top of enough shit lists as it is, without adding a couple of dead vessels to her journal of how to win friends and influence people.
Life - or existence, whatever - is good though. Anna hasn't gotten over the kid in a candy store thrill of being on Earth yet, moving from state to state as the mood takes her, or simply to check out one of Ruby's favorite fast-food joints. There's no orders from heaven or hell to worry about, no grand plan to follow, and the odd skirmish with some demon or other (Ruby notched up a lot of enemies during Operation Apocalypse) just keeps things from getting dull.
They're in another diner in another town, making vague plans for overseas travel (Ruby wants to visit Mexico, to join in the Day of the Dead celebrations) and stealing each other's fries. Anna's feeling happier than she can remember being, well, ever really, and so relaxed she doesn't notice the sudden whirr of energy in the air, or the faint sound of wings.
"Jesus!" Ruby jumps in her seat, her hand flying to her chest in a melodramatic gesture as Castiel materializes beside her. "What is it with you angels?"
Castiel appears torn between embarrassment at his social faux-pas and an in-built urge to smite the mouthy demon. Anna gives him a swift kick under the table, to help his conscience along.
"My apologies," he says, rising to his feet. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"Thanks," says Ruby, mollified, and a little surprised.
Castiel gestures to the seat beside Anna on the other side of the booth. "May I?"
Anna nods and smiles as Castiel sits beside her.
"Isn't he precious?" she asks Ruby, reaching up to ruffle Castiel's hair. "Can we keep him?"
"What, like a pet?" Ruby blinks. "Sure, but if you get your own angel, I want a hellhound."
Castiel appears less than impressed with Anna and Ruby's teasing. He frowns, and says in a formal tone, "I wish to speak with Anna."
"OK, I can take a hint," says Ruby, rolling her eyes. "I'll just go, uh, powder my horns."
"I owe you an apology," says Castiel once Ruby's out of sight. "I caught a glimpse of hell when I rescued Dean, and from his nightmares."
"Dean got lucky," Anna scoffs. "He was barely there for a long weekend. I got the extended experience."
"I really had no idea," says Castiel sadly. "I didn't want you to suffer."
No, Anna doesn't suppose he did, but that doesn't make her suffering any less, does it? She can still remember the agonies of hell, the anguish and the humilation, feeling like she was slowly being ripped into a thousand pieces, and the fear that she might never put herself back together. And yet... Anna is whole now, complete and free, and she can remember well enough why she choose to leave heaven. Sex, freedom and chocolate cake are all well and good (Anna doubts she'll tire of them any time soon), but they weren't the only things Anna went looking for. Friendship counts too, and compassion, forgiveness. All of those are in her gift now.
"You meant well, that's got to count for something," says Anna, her tone softer now. She offers Castiel a weak half-smile. "I forgive you."
"Thank-you," says Castiel. His relief is palpable.
"So," says Anna, eager to move the conversation on from hellfire and damnation, "what are you doing with yourself these days?"
"Apart from dodging archangels?" Castiel almost manages a smile. "I help the Winchesters when I can. And I'm still looking for God."
"Yeah, good luck with that."
"I don't suppose," Castiel begins awkwardly, "you might consider... helping me?"
Anna nearly chokes on a mouthful of fries. "Seriously, no," she says. "Me and Him Upstairs don't exactly see eye-to-eye these days."
"No, I don't suppose you do," says Castiel. "Well, your friend will be back in a moment. I should leave."
He's on his feet, about to go (human-style, fortunately) when Anna catches his arm.
"Hey, Cas," she says. "It was good to see you. Don't be a stranger."
Castiel's smile is genuine this time, warm and bright. "And you," he says. "Take care, Anna."
Ruby returns just as Castiel leaves. "So," she says, "you and feathers done with the halo talk?"
"Yup," says Anna, grinning as she swipes the last fry from Ruby's plate.
"Awesome," says Ruby. "C'mon, there's a bar in Tijuana with a bottle of tequila that's got our name on it."
"Sounds good," agrees Anna. She leans across the table to kiss Ruby, slow and languorous. "After the past, ooh, couple of millennia, I deserve a vacation."
Ruby grins back at her. "Just so long as you're not planning on taking things too easy. You know what they say..."
"No rest for the wicked?"
"You betcha."
Author: shaggydogstail
Pairing/Characters: Anna/Ruby, Anna/Lucifer, Castiel, Sam and Dean, Crowley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, violence, character death
Summary: Fresh out of hell, Anna's got her own reasons for wanting to stop the apocalypse. AU.
Recipient/Prompt: For familiardevil at spn_women: When Anna fell, she didn't go to earth; she went to hell. After thousands of years of torture, she escapes from hell when the gates are opened by Sam and Dean. She isn't an angel and she isn't a demon, but somewhere in between, a fallen angel who is tortured by her years and hell and yet still fights for good. Bonus points for demon!Anna who still fights for the good side, complete with black eyes and everything. I want a happy ending, but it can be the sort of ending where it's sort of ambiguous too.
Spoilers: Through all aired episodes
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit
Author notes:: Thanks to violetisblue for the beta job.
She's been here over two thousand years, local time, and still Anna's not seen anything like it. Hell is in uproar; a twisted prison of flesh, bone, and fear makes a disarming setting for a celebration, yet here it is. Demons dance through the flames, and the Pit echoes with their victory calls, loud enough tonight to drown out the cries of despair from the newer, damned souls. It's a ghastly carnival, a festival of blood, and - to coin a phrase - one hell of a party.
Anna is in no mood for partying, doesn't feel like celebrating. She curls in on herself and sobs silently, hands over her head in a futile effort to drown out the chant:
LUCIFER RISES!
#
"Bring her back." Anna's wiped the tears off her face, brushed her hair and holds her head high. She's prepared to beg if she has to, but she hopes it won't come to that. She doubts it would work, anyway.
Lucifer smiles at her, self-satisfied and seductive. "Why would I want to do that?"
"She set you free," says Anna, imploring. "Only Ruby could've done it, only she knew what to do. The risks she took, the sacrifices she made, all for you. She deserves her reward."
"She was a demon," replies Lucifer coldly. "Lower even than a human. Trash from the bottom of the can."
"Without that 'trash' you'd still be stuck in the pit," says Anna.
"Ruby was... useful, I'll grant you," says Lucifer. "But to suggest that I, an angel, should feel obligated towards a demon? Really, Anna, you forget yourself."
Anna fought Lucifer once before, for Heaven, before either of them fell, but she never wanted to blast his face off quite as much as she would now. It won't do any good, though, however much he deserves it, so she swallows her pride and puts aside any trace of self-respect that hasn't already burned away in the fires of damnation. She falls to her knees before Lucifer, buries her head in his lap.
"Please," she says - begs, pleads, implores - "bring her back for me."
"Oh, my sweet, lost little sister," coos Lucifer. He slides the crook of his finger beneath Anna's chin and uses it to coax her gaze upwards, until she's looking into his eyes. He looks sad. "You have forgotten yourself, haven't you? Left all alone amidst the dregs of humanity for so long, little wonder you sought out what solace you could find."
"Bring her back." Anna gulps. "I just want her back."
Lucifer shakes his head. "No angel should be so in thrall to a mere demon. It is beneath you, Anna."
"She was all I had," says Anna. "The only one..."
"I know, I know," says Lucifer softly. He strokes Anna's hair as he speaks. "But you're not alone any more. You will stand by my side as I achieve paradise, and you can find love more worthy of your station."
He kisses her, and Anna acquiesces. She feigns comfort in Lucifer's caresses, and allows him to believe that it's desire, not desperation, that makes her cling to him as he fucks her.
If there's one thing Anna knows all about, it's picking her battles.
#
Lucifer returns from raising Death full of triumph and his own self-importance. Anna tells him how wonderful he is, of course, and though she feels bad for all those people who had to die she's smart enough to keep that to herself. Still, there is something a bit thrilling about the spectacle of it all, the raw drama, and the sheer breaking the rules defiance. She envies Lucifer that, the freedom to get out, to act, to make things happen more than anything.
Maybe Lucifer knows what she needs. He keeps telling her he does, after all.
"You see this," he says, showing her an old gun she's heard about before. Ruby told her all about the Colt. "It's a gift. For you."
Anna takes the gun, eyes wide in shock. "For me?" she says. "Why?"
"I want you to find out who gave that gun to Dean Winchester," Lucifer tells her. "Then, I want you to use it to kill them."
"How very... poetic," says Anna, smiling as she runs a finger down the barrel of the Colt.
Lucifer grabs her around the waist, pulling Anna towards him and kissing her forcefully. "You deserve a little fun."
"Yes," agrees Anna. "I do, don't I?"
#
Anna knows it'll take a while to track down the Winchester brothers directly, so she goes after the next best thing: their own little personal guardian angel. Who just happens to be her old friend Castiel - and, my oh my, haven't things changed for him? Anna would never have predicted his disobedience, faithful little puppy that he always was.
Of course, she'd never have predicted that she'd end up working for Lucifer herself, even when she made the decision to take her, ah, sabbatical from heaven, so it looks like Chuck Berry was right: You really never can tell.
She's sidestepped the whole messy, fraught issue of finding a vessel by convincing Lucifer to create an approximation of a human form for her - the ultimate in plastic surgery, but the cute little redhead seems able to contain her. Anna thinks the body suits her, and dresses it in an oh-so-pretty virgin-white dress, for irony's sake, and spike-heeled shiny red boots, just because. It's fun, the dressing up part; the sin of pride, Anna supposes, another for the collection. She covers sloth by omitting to wear any panties.
Finding Castiel is easy enough. There are demons supposed to be watching him, but Anna doubts many of them are up to keeping pace with an angel. Besides, she'd rather do things her own way. Rather than go searching for Castiel herself, she decides just to call him, and wait for him to come to her. Naturally she chooses to meet Castiel in a church - the Lady Chapel in the Church of St. Mary the Virgin, New York, to be precise. It's ever so pretty.
Castiel takes all of five seconds to appear, eager as ever apparently. Well, it's nice to know some things haven't changed.
"Hey, Cas."
"Anna."
Castiel looks suspicious, wary, as well he might. Anna's current address isn't exactly a secret, and she was always much stronger than him. It's kind of fun watching Castiel squirm as Anna strolls up to him. She leans in close, whispers in his ear when she speaks;
"I hear you've been a very naughty angel," she says.
Castiel flinches. "What do you want?"
"I want to show you something," Anna tells him, pulling the Colt out of her pocket. "Lucifer brought me back a souvenir from Carthage."
"You're going to kill me," says Castiel. He says it simply, without anger, like he's stating a simple fact.
"And why would I want to do that?" asks Anna, lifting the gun and using it to stroke the side of Castiel's face. "Revenge, hm? After you helped Michael cast me into the Pit?"
Surprisingly, Castiel has no answer. Shame, really, because Anna'd been looking forward to hearing how it was all her own fault, if only so she could tell Castiel to stick his sanctimonious bullshit where God's grace doesn't shine. She drops the gun to her side, and takes a step back.
"But no," she continues. "I'm not going to kill you. At least, not today. I just want you to tell me where the Winchesters got it from."
Castiel looks surprised, and more suspicious than ever. Anna sighs - she hopes he isn't going to be difficult about this.
"What does it matter?" he asks at last.
Anna smirks, and steps towards him again. She presses her body against Castiel's, her hand resting on his chest and the tip of the gun under his chin.
"Hell's internal disciplinary proceedings are no concern of yours," Anna says. "Just tell me who gave the Winchesters the Colt."
"And if I don't?" asks Castiel, who must still be pretty new at the whole defiance gig to ask a question like that with a gun pointing at his head.
Anna purses her lips, and makes a great show of fiddling with Castiel's tie, smoothing down the front of his shirt. Castiel's stock-still - whether with revulsion or fear, Anna doesn't much care. She leans back into him, the gun just touching his cheek as she whispers into his other ear, "Then maybe I'll have to phone a friend."
She steps back, holding up Castiel's cell phone. "Now, let's see - how quickly do you think your friend Dean will come running if I give him a quick call? If I'm really lucky, he'll bring Sam along too - Lucifer's ready for a dress fitting now."
Castiel's expression darkens. "Don't," he says.
"And if I do?" counters Anna. "You wouldn't stand a chance fighting me, and you can't run and tell tales to Michael anymore."
She's giving away more than she should, Anna knows, but it still rankles. She thought Castiel was her friend, the only one she trusted enough to share her plan with, but he'd chosen heaven's rules over Anna, and stood by as she was cast into perdition as punishment for her disobedience.
"I didn't know," says Castiel quietly.
"Didn't know what?"
"That Michael would... condemn you," says Castiel.
Anna lets out a hollow laugh. "What did you expect? I wanted to leave heaven, to become human. I wanted to be free. Heaven wouldn't stand for that."
Castiel's looking down at the ground. "I didn't want you to go. To fall. You wouldn't stay for me, and I didn't know how else to stop you."
"And why did it matter so much to you?" demands Anna.
Castiel looks up at her at last, his expression stricken. "You know why."
Anna stares at him for several moments and, yeah, she knows why. She might even feel sorry for Castiel, if two thousand years in hell hadn't burned up so much of her sympathy.
"Is it because you love me so much?" she asks, taunting. "You should've come with me then. We could've been human together, wouldn't that've been fun? I might even have fucked you."
"Don't be like that."
"Be like what? Like this." Anna glares at Castiel, her eyes jet-black. He flinches and tries to turn away, but Anna takes hold of his chin and forces him to look at her. "This is what your love did to me. So don't go looking for any consideration from me, and don't you dare tell me what to do."
She pushes him away, roughly, and turns away in disgust.
"The Winchesters were given the Colt by a demon," says Castiel. "His name is Crowley. They believed he wanted them to kill Lucifer because Lucifer hates humans, and thinks even less of demons."
Well, this Crowley sounds like he isn't a complete idiot, even if he did over-estimate the Colt's power. Shame she has to kill him. Anna beams at Castiel, and throws him his phone.
"Thank you," she says. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some smiting to do."
"Anna, wait!" calls Castiel. He makes an awkward movement, like he's trying to reach out to her and recoiling in horror at the same time. It's almost laughable. "Please, you don't... you don't have to do this."
"Do what, Castiel?" says Anna. She treats him to another show of demonic eyeball. "This?"
"Work for hell," says Castiel. "For Lucifer."
"You still don't get it, do you?" says Anna. "I don't work for anyone but myself."
#
There's no good reason for Anna to fuck Crowley, but she does it anyway. She likes the idea that next time she speaks to Lucifer, it'll be through a mouth that's sucked demon cock. Such petty, adolescent acts of rebellion should be beneath her, but, well, Anna's a creature of the underworld now. Nothing's beneath her.
Crowley's good-natured charm and idle patter can't hide the fact that he's scared, very scared, although maybe not of the right people. As a kindness, Anna lets him get dressed before she starts to interrogate him about his wish to kill Lucifer.
"And why would I want to do a thing like that?" asks Crowley as he pours them both a large drink.
"Oh, I've been hearing rumors that you're none too sure that Lucifer is the best thing for demons," Anna tells him. "That's why you gave the Winchesters the gun."
"Gun?" Crowley offers Anna a bemused smile as he sets her glass down in front of her. "I don't know what you're talking about, sweetheart."
"Oh, I think you do," retorts Anna, producing the Colt and aiming it squarely between Crowley's eyes. "And don't try to wriggle your way out of it - it's a terrible sin to lie to an angel, you know."
Crowley raises his hands in an "busted" gesture. "OK, you got me," he admits.
"Glad to see you're keeping up."
"Which just begs the question," says Crowley, "if you know all about how I helped the Winchesters, how come I'm still alive? Or do you angels always screw your victims before you kill them?"
"Nah, that's just me," says Anna. "And it's only the ones I like. Besides, I think you can help me."
"Don't tell me, if I co-operate like a good little fall guy, you might just spare my life." Crowley makes a face. "I wasn't born yesterday."
"Fine, you tell me who you've been working with, and I'll make it quick," says Anna. "That is, unless you'd rather I handed you over to Lucifer."
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that even when she's pointing a gun at his head, Anna represents the lesser of two evils.
"The grunts on the staff didn't know anything," says Crowley. "Look, there's no great conspiracy to overthrow Lucifer if that's what you're wondering. Most of the demons I've heard from are wetting themselves with excitement over the great Morning Star, and the ones that aren't so keen are keeping their heads down. Which is what I should be doing, instead of banging the first pretty angel that passes my way."
Unfortunately for Crowley, he is telling the truth. There's just one thing Anna's still curious about, though. "If you didn't have help, where did you get the gun from?"
"From the same con-artist who stole it from the Winchesters in the first place. Woman by the name of Bela Talbot," Crowley tells her. He's getting chatty now, and his tone is friendly, relaxed. Anna guesses he's hoping to develop some sort of rapport with her, because maybe that can help him. It won't.
"Well, I say woman," Crowley continues. "She was still human back then, anyway. Tried to use it as a bargaining chip to wriggle out of her deal. Not that it did her any good - some things can't be undone."
"Perhaps," says Anna thoughtfully. "Well, thank you for your assistance. You've been very helpful."
Crowley's smile gives away more nerves than he'd probably like. "So does that mean you're not going to kill me after all?" he says. "I can think of much better ways to spend the evening."
"Tempting, but no," says Anna. "I like you a lot, Crowley, just not enough to go up against Lucifer."
She doesn't hang around after she's killed him. Anna's got work to do.
#
Wrapped in Lucifer's arms, Anna makes the right moves and the right noises, but her mind is elsewhere. She thinks about Ruby, and about death. Today wasn't the first time she'd killed a demon, and she remembers the spark of excitement Ruby sometimes got from killing - the power to take a life could be quite a turn-on. Anna isn't aroused by Crowley's death, though, and doesn't feel righteous about it either. The death of another living being - even if it was only a demon - depresses her. She doesn't feel guilty, exactly, just a little bit colder, harder inside.
This isn't how it's going to be, Anna resolves, as Lucifer grunts and thrusts, and Anna gouges ridges into his shoulder blades. If Ruby taught her anything at all, it's the importance of doing things your own way, that no one will give you freedom, you just have to take it.
Anna's ready to fight, and she's not going to fight for Lucifer or for Michael, or even for Castiel's third way. No, the only battles that Anna's interested in are her own.
#
Having a plan makes things so much simpler. Honestly, Anna wonders why she didn't just think of this in the first place.
She tracks the Winchester brothers down with a bit of good old-fashioned sleuthing - check out the latest apocalypse hot spots, and cruise around the neighboring motel joints. It takes her less than a week to find Sam and Dean a few miles outside of Nowheresville, Minnesota, about to gatecrash a demon party and spoil all the fun. Killjoys.
"Woah!"
Dean seems understandably surprised when Anna shows up in his motel room. Sam's a little more on the ball, and has a gun trained on her in an instant. (To be fair, Dean might've taken aim himself, if he hadn't just that moment stepped out of the bathroom in a threadbare and less-than-generous towel. Anna does like to pick her moments.)
"Easy now, tiger, I come in peace," says Anna, raising her hands.
"Yeah?" says Dean. "Well, who the hell are you?"
"And how did you get in here?" adds Sam.
"When the room's so very well protected against demons?" says Anna. "That's because I'm not a demon. I'm an angel."
This revelation doesn't exactly diffuse the tension in the air. If anything, Dean looks more suspicious than ever.
"Angel, right," he says. "I suppose Zachariah sent you? Or Michael? Which of the dicks with wings do you work for?"
Anna rolls her eyes. Nominally at least she works for Lucifer, of course, but she's gonna keep that one to herself. "Oh, I don't work for anyone," she says. "Back in the day I had a whole garrison of those dicks with wings working for me - including your friend Castiel."
Sam and Dean share a look that - well, it could mean anything at all, actually. Anna's not exactly up to speed with the intricacies of human behavior. By some unspoken agreement Dean picks up a cell phone off the table and heads back into the bathroom, while Sam keeps the gun fixed firmly on Anna.
"You don't have to keep pointing that thing at me, you know," says Anna. "It's not a very nice way to treat a guest."
"Guests are people you invite over," says Sam. "You just barged in unannounced."
"I guess that's true," concedes Anna. "Plus, it's not like that thing could do me any harm even if you did fire it. Unlike, say, this."
She pulls the Colt out of her back pocket and twirls it around between her fingers.
Sam's still gaping as Dean re-emerges from the bathroom - fully dressed this time. Shame.
"Where did you get that?" they chorus, just as Castiel appears in the middle of the room.
"Anna!" he says, looking rather more pleased to see her than he did last time.
"Hiya, Cas!" Anna bounces across the room and hugs Castiel enthusiastically. He couldn't look more confused if it were an Olympic event. Anna carries on regardless, linking an arm with Castiel's (while still keeping a firm grip on the Colt in her other hand) and turning to grin at Sam and Dean.
"Cas, do you know this chick?" asks Dean.
Castiel carefully extricates himself from Anna's grip before answering. "Anna was the leader of my garrison in heaven," he says, "before she fell."
"Fell as in leaving heaven, like you did?" Sam asks.
"I fell a bit further," says Anna, her eyes black. "I'm a real Hell's Angel."
"What?" Dean steps forward, shielding Sam as if by instinct. Castiel grabs Anna's arm and pulls her back a couple of feet.
"Anna, why did you come here?" he asks. Poor Castiel, he looks so confused - equal parts concern and hope. "Are you going to help us?"
"Curiosity," says Anna. "You know how that always was my weakness. One of them anyway."
"Curiosity," repeats Castiel.
"Hm," agrees Anna. "I was wondering about this here gun. See, you know now it won't kill Lucifer, and my guess is it won't work on any archangel. But would it work on their hosts?"
"Anna..." says Castiel warningly.
"Or rather, would it work enough?" Anna continues. "Obviously Michael and Lucifer are both up to raising a vessel, but if the Colt can kill a demon, maybe it can obliterate a human soul beyond all hope of resurrection."
Castiel steps in front of her, standing squarely between Anna and the Winchesters. He looks furious, angrier than Anna's ever seen him, as he answers with a single word: "No."
"You sure about that?" asks Anna. "You don't even know which one I might kill."
"Hey, no-one is killing anyone, d'ya hear?" calls Dean, who might have a lot more to say on the matter if his brother weren't dragging him back.
"I'm sure you take the task of guarding the holy vessel of the great and mighty Michael terribly seriously," says Anna, "but surely guarding Lucifer's vessel was never part of your remit. There is only the one, after all. No Sam, no way for Lucifer to walk the Earth - once rent-a-vessel's worn out it'll be straight back to the pit for him. I'd practically be doing you a favor."
"Leave them be," says Castiel, his expression stony. "Both of them."
"You really have changed, haven't you?" says Anna thoughtfully. "For the better."
Castiel simply looks puzzled as Anna tucks the gun away again. "Oh, relax," she says. "If I really wanted to kill anyone, you'd all be dead by now."
"Yeah?" says Dean. "You mind telling us what you are here for, or did you just show up to mess with Cas' head?"
"Nah, the head messing was just a bonus," Anna tells him. "I just thought I'd pop by and let you know I've come up with a way to stop the apocalypse."
"Just like that?" asks Sam.
"Just like that," confirms Anna. "It's perfectly simple, really."
"So, you wanna share this plan with the group?" asks Dean.
"Of course." Anna beams at the three less-than-impressed faces before her. And then she tells them.
#
Saving the world - and saving Ruby - is a blink-and-miss-it-affair.
Anna arrives at St. Mary's Convent, Ilchester, at the very same moment as Castiel appears, both of them materializing in exactly the spots Sam described for them. Castiel presses his fingers to Sam's forehead as Anna takes hold of Ruby, before anyone has a chance to react. As a final touch, Castiel unlocks the door while Anna shouts, "Run!" to Lilith, before disappearing with Ruby in her arms, Castiel following on her heels.
When Dean Winchester pushes the door open and runs into the chapel he finds Sam alone, asleep on the floor.
All-in-all, it takes less than a second to preserve the final seal, prevent the apocalypse, and save Ruby's life. Not bad going, if Anna does say so herself.
#
Ruby's a little less sure of the genius of Anna's time-travelling antics, going from anger and frustration at having her plans thwarted, to resentful melancholy when Anna explains that Lucifer had no place for Ruby in his apocalyptic future.
"It was all for nothing," she says when she's shouted herself out, kicking the floor and looking away from Anna.
Anna moves towards Ruby, takes both of Ruby's hands in her own. At last Ruby raises her head to look at her, and Anna smiles. "Never trust an angel."
She leans in and kisses Ruby, softly at first, then harder, as Ruby presses their bodies together and tugs at Anna's hair. There's something desperate, almost feral, about the way Ruby tears Anna's clothes from her, pushes her to the ground, and holds her down. Anna fights back - co-operates, retorts - with more kisses, bites to Ruby's neck, and hands reaching wildly for every each of flesh.
This is what she wanted, what makes it all worthwhile Anna knows, as she ruts up against Ruby in the dirt of an old cemetery. The taste of Ruby's cunt, the heat of her body, and the scrape of Ruby's teeth over her breasts.
When they're worn out, messed-up and filthy with mud, spit, and sweat, Ruby pulls Anna close, strokes the grass from her hair.
"You could've had paradise," says Ruby.
"Yeah," agrees Anna absently, sliding one leg between Ruby's and wrapping her arm around Ruby's waist. "But I'd rather have this."
#
Anna and Ruby keep a low profile in the months following the "oops, nearly" apocalypse incident. Anna glosses over the details of Ruby's death at Sam and Dean's hands, knowing that there's no way she could dissuade Ruby from killing the pair of them in return. Not that Anna has much in the way of sympathy with the Winchesters - on the contrary, they're pretty much her least favorite people still alive - but she has no appetite for death or vengeance. Besides, cutting short the apocalypse sent Anna straight to the top of enough shit lists as it is, without adding a couple of dead vessels to her journal of how to win friends and influence people.
Life - or existence, whatever - is good though. Anna hasn't gotten over the kid in a candy store thrill of being on Earth yet, moving from state to state as the mood takes her, or simply to check out one of Ruby's favorite fast-food joints. There's no orders from heaven or hell to worry about, no grand plan to follow, and the odd skirmish with some demon or other (Ruby notched up a lot of enemies during Operation Apocalypse) just keeps things from getting dull.
They're in another diner in another town, making vague plans for overseas travel (Ruby wants to visit Mexico, to join in the Day of the Dead celebrations) and stealing each other's fries. Anna's feeling happier than she can remember being, well, ever really, and so relaxed she doesn't notice the sudden whirr of energy in the air, or the faint sound of wings.
"Jesus!" Ruby jumps in her seat, her hand flying to her chest in a melodramatic gesture as Castiel materializes beside her. "What is it with you angels?"
Castiel appears torn between embarrassment at his social faux-pas and an in-built urge to smite the mouthy demon. Anna gives him a swift kick under the table, to help his conscience along.
"My apologies," he says, rising to his feet. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"Thanks," says Ruby, mollified, and a little surprised.
Castiel gestures to the seat beside Anna on the other side of the booth. "May I?"
Anna nods and smiles as Castiel sits beside her.
"Isn't he precious?" she asks Ruby, reaching up to ruffle Castiel's hair. "Can we keep him?"
"What, like a pet?" Ruby blinks. "Sure, but if you get your own angel, I want a hellhound."
Castiel appears less than impressed with Anna and Ruby's teasing. He frowns, and says in a formal tone, "I wish to speak with Anna."
"OK, I can take a hint," says Ruby, rolling her eyes. "I'll just go, uh, powder my horns."
"I owe you an apology," says Castiel once Ruby's out of sight. "I caught a glimpse of hell when I rescued Dean, and from his nightmares."
"Dean got lucky," Anna scoffs. "He was barely there for a long weekend. I got the extended experience."
"I really had no idea," says Castiel sadly. "I didn't want you to suffer."
No, Anna doesn't suppose he did, but that doesn't make her suffering any less, does it? She can still remember the agonies of hell, the anguish and the humilation, feeling like she was slowly being ripped into a thousand pieces, and the fear that she might never put herself back together. And yet... Anna is whole now, complete and free, and she can remember well enough why she choose to leave heaven. Sex, freedom and chocolate cake are all well and good (Anna doubts she'll tire of them any time soon), but they weren't the only things Anna went looking for. Friendship counts too, and compassion, forgiveness. All of those are in her gift now.
"You meant well, that's got to count for something," says Anna, her tone softer now. She offers Castiel a weak half-smile. "I forgive you."
"Thank-you," says Castiel. His relief is palpable.
"So," says Anna, eager to move the conversation on from hellfire and damnation, "what are you doing with yourself these days?"
"Apart from dodging archangels?" Castiel almost manages a smile. "I help the Winchesters when I can. And I'm still looking for God."
"Yeah, good luck with that."
"I don't suppose," Castiel begins awkwardly, "you might consider... helping me?"
Anna nearly chokes on a mouthful of fries. "Seriously, no," she says. "Me and Him Upstairs don't exactly see eye-to-eye these days."
"No, I don't suppose you do," says Castiel. "Well, your friend will be back in a moment. I should leave."
He's on his feet, about to go (human-style, fortunately) when Anna catches his arm.
"Hey, Cas," she says. "It was good to see you. Don't be a stranger."
Castiel's smile is genuine this time, warm and bright. "And you," he says. "Take care, Anna."
Ruby returns just as Castiel leaves. "So," she says, "you and feathers done with the halo talk?"
"Yup," says Anna, grinning as she swipes the last fry from Ruby's plate.
"Awesome," says Ruby. "C'mon, there's a bar in Tijuana with a bottle of tequila that's got our name on it."
"Sounds good," agrees Anna. She leans across the table to kiss Ruby, slow and languorous. "After the past, ooh, couple of millennia, I deserve a vacation."
Ruby grins back at her. "Just so long as you're not planning on taking things too easy. You know what they say..."
"No rest for the wicked?"
"You betcha."