Fannish Friday
Ooh, I like this one:
Five reasons a character you have a crush on/find attractive would be a bad boyfriend or girlfriend in real life.
So much, I'll have to do it more than once. Once for each fandom, in fact.
HP: Sirius Black
1. Is dead.
2. Prone to lapses in hygiene. I suspect the teeth never recovered.
3. Unlikely that Azkaban allowed conjugal visits, leading to much frustration.
4. Would probably turn into a dog during sex, at least once. Not even for any kinky reasons either, he'd just think it was funny. I would be unlikely to agree.
5. Worst in-laws ever.
Torchwood: Toshiko Sato
1. Not dead herself, but you probably will be if you kiss her.
2. Works excessive hours and is likely to take work home with her. This is especially worrying when you consider that her job sometimes involves things like rigging up a corpse to use as a remote-control dummy.
3. Bit too fond of maths. Would only refrain from mocking my inability to remember my times tables out of kindness.
4. Secretive. Likely to retcon me.
5. Likely to attract evil aliens/disaster/weird things with time/death.
Doctor Who: The Master
1. Also dead. Sorta.
2. And evil.
3. Would probably kill you. For fun.
4. Is probably crap in bed. I expect he just hypnotises you into thinking you've had an orgasm and the lies back demanding blow-jobs.
5. Listening to him whining on about his ex-boyfriend and how he's going to take over the universe would get old after a while.
Supernatural: Ruby
1. Again, dead.
2. Also a demon.
3. Might be evil.
4. Steals food off your plate. Not so bad at first, but it's the kind of thing that makes you want to stab a person after a while.
5. Could really beat the shit out of you quite badly if she felt like it.
Good Omens: Crowley
1. Not dead, hurrah! But not strictly speaking alive in the human sense.
2. Another demon. OK, possibly I find this attractive, but is probably a downside from an objective point of view.
3. A bit evil.
4. Your mobile phone would almost never work.
5. Would never let you drive.
Five reasons a character you have a crush on/find attractive would be a bad boyfriend or girlfriend in real life.
So much, I'll have to do it more than once. Once for each fandom, in fact.
HP: Sirius Black
1. Is dead.
2. Prone to lapses in hygiene. I suspect the teeth never recovered.
3. Unlikely that Azkaban allowed conjugal visits, leading to much frustration.
4. Would probably turn into a dog during sex, at least once. Not even for any kinky reasons either, he'd just think it was funny. I would be unlikely to agree.
5. Worst in-laws ever.
Torchwood: Toshiko Sato
1. Not dead herself, but you probably will be if you kiss her.
2. Works excessive hours and is likely to take work home with her. This is especially worrying when you consider that her job sometimes involves things like rigging up a corpse to use as a remote-control dummy.
3. Bit too fond of maths. Would only refrain from mocking my inability to remember my times tables out of kindness.
4. Secretive. Likely to retcon me.
5. Likely to attract evil aliens/disaster/weird things with time/death.
Doctor Who: The Master
1. Also dead. Sorta.
2. And evil.
3. Would probably kill you. For fun.
4. Is probably crap in bed. I expect he just hypnotises you into thinking you've had an orgasm and the lies back demanding blow-jobs.
5. Listening to him whining on about his ex-boyfriend and how he's going to take over the universe would get old after a while.
Supernatural: Ruby
1. Again, dead.
2. Also a demon.
3. Might be evil.
4. Steals food off your plate. Not so bad at first, but it's the kind of thing that makes you want to stab a person after a while.
5. Could really beat the shit out of you quite badly if she felt like it.
Good Omens: Crowley
1. Not dead, hurrah! But not strictly speaking alive in the human sense.
2. Another demon. OK, possibly I find this attractive, but is probably a downside from an objective point of view.
3. A bit evil.
4. Your mobile phone would almost never work.
5. Would never let you drive.