...and i'd like to see you undone...
i've been really depressed lately and i'm not quite sure why. its nothing anyone has said or done, or anything i've done, so far as i know. i just am. if i hadn't been on the phone with alex i would have taken that entire bottle of asprin that i was holding. i'm sorry, i know you don't like hearing that, but its true. i'm not sure whats wrong, just that something is.
"these cuts are leaving creases
trace the scars, fit the peices
tell your story, you don't need to say a word.
call off the calvary, can't save a wretch like me.
clean this with kerosene.
if you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed."
that song is so me...
"man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has
lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all"
well, if you don't sleep you can't dream now can you?
i'm like, exahsted, but i can't fall asleep. and i don't want to do anything stupid, so i'll just sit here and try to keep myself occupied. wow, chatting with victor in the middle of the night is interesting. he gets all serious. mmm, my feet are falling asleep...i don't like that.
korn. i want some korn. hmmm.
"why do you treat me this way?
made the hate stay (made the hurt stay)
i sound like i can never seem to escape
all the laughing, all the pain
if you were me, what would you do?
nothing, probaly. you'd just throw me away."
do you know what is truly terrifying? being in a situation that you don't know if you'll come out of dead or alive. that is one of the scariest things in the world. held next to that, not a whole lot else is truly frightening. touching your neck and having your fingers come away with blood on them...*shivers*
not something you ever want to experience.
"you try so hard to be wanted
false emotions tells you fronted
i feel being a person relies on one thing:
be yourself, let you come through
you're too afraid to really be
someone who isn't false, who dosen't care to be
be yourself, let you come through!"
we can all try, can't we? but alot of us end up comforming, lying so that we're "just like every one, could be anyone". and as much as i try not to, i find myself doing that sometimes, and i hate it. another one of the many things i hate about myself. god, that list is getting long. so is the one of things i've been called lately. and they're not nice things...anyway...i really should go to bed, its like, 1 am. hmm...no, i don't think i will yet. i'm still talking to victor, so i actaully have something to do...wow. i'm sorta bored though...
i would like to search inside
for all of the things that you will hide
what's the problem?
can't you seem to
search through these problems that haunt and taunt you
i smile, while you're afraid
your run, while you're so in pain
do you ever see it [out from] outside your fears
thinking about your life
thinking about your inner fears
i would like to search inside
for all of the things that you will hide
what's the problem?
Can't you seem to open your body and let me touch you
i want to see the life you have disguised
the world of things that hurt you
kept all these useless lies
i want you to fear, fill you on up inside
once i took you in, i'll throw you out next time
i tried, you win
my life is ripping your heart out and destroying my pain!
go!
"these cuts are leaving creases
trace the scars, fit the peices
tell your story, you don't need to say a word.
call off the calvary, can't save a wretch like me.
clean this with kerosene.
if you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed."
that song is so me...
"man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has
lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all"
well, if you don't sleep you can't dream now can you?
i'm like, exahsted, but i can't fall asleep. and i don't want to do anything stupid, so i'll just sit here and try to keep myself occupied. wow, chatting with victor in the middle of the night is interesting. he gets all serious. mmm, my feet are falling asleep...i don't like that.
korn. i want some korn. hmmm.
"why do you treat me this way?
made the hate stay (made the hurt stay)
i sound like i can never seem to escape
all the laughing, all the pain
if you were me, what would you do?
nothing, probaly. you'd just throw me away."
do you know what is truly terrifying? being in a situation that you don't know if you'll come out of dead or alive. that is one of the scariest things in the world. held next to that, not a whole lot else is truly frightening. touching your neck and having your fingers come away with blood on them...*shivers*
not something you ever want to experience.
"you try so hard to be wanted
false emotions tells you fronted
i feel being a person relies on one thing:
be yourself, let you come through
you're too afraid to really be
someone who isn't false, who dosen't care to be
be yourself, let you come through!"
we can all try, can't we? but alot of us end up comforming, lying so that we're "just like every one, could be anyone". and as much as i try not to, i find myself doing that sometimes, and i hate it. another one of the many things i hate about myself. god, that list is getting long. so is the one of things i've been called lately. and they're not nice things...anyway...i really should go to bed, its like, 1 am. hmm...no, i don't think i will yet. i'm still talking to victor, so i actaully have something to do...wow. i'm sorta bored though...
i would like to search inside
for all of the things that you will hide
what's the problem?
can't you seem to
search through these problems that haunt and taunt you
i smile, while you're afraid
your run, while you're so in pain
do you ever see it [out from] outside your fears
thinking about your life
thinking about your inner fears
i would like to search inside
for all of the things that you will hide
what's the problem?
Can't you seem to open your body and let me touch you
i want to see the life you have disguised
the world of things that hurt you
kept all these useless lies
i want you to fear, fill you on up inside
once i took you in, i'll throw you out next time
i tried, you win
my life is ripping your heart out and destroying my pain!
go!