now that i'm awake...
that boy will be the reason i never get any sleep. *shakes head* he woke me up from the nap i was taking because he woke me up last night. jeez, let a person sleep will ya? ...but, he woke me up to apologize.
he kissed her. and now...he promised he would try not to. and then the next day goes and kisses her. and this time, this time i am mad. i know that all of this started because alex kissed me while she and steven were together, but, hypocritical as it makes me seem, i am really not happy. steven, you should be glad i was still asleep. if i had been fully concious, i would have gone off on you. i would have felt really mean after i did, but i would have. i won't put what's running through my head down here. everything that i would be yelling at you if you were on the phone now, i'll keep all that to myself.
i'm mad, i don't know what to do, and honestly, compleatly honestly, i'm nervous. they LIVE together. and its things like this that make me nervous. this is the one relationship i DON'T want to loose.
i told her. i had to. it was bugging me that i lied to her about past relaionships. i was such a whore. its true that i haven't had a boy/girlfriend in about a year and a half, but it wasn't true that i hadn't had any. i would go with someone for 3-4 weeks, and then, when it began to mean to much to me, i would get the hell outta there. because i was scared. and then there was stephan. i was with him for a long time. or, a long time for me. maybe two months? i don't really remember, but he mattered. i began to love him, and so, eventually, i cut and ran. and then i like, shut myself off. so that i didn't have to go through that again.
and thats why, at first, all this scared me, because i COULDN'T cut and run. i couldn't make myself get out of this one. i was happy, which made it worse, because i wasn't used to being happy, i was used to using people. i don't remember the name of the guy who gave me my first kiss. i barley even remember what he looked like. and all of that is why i told you what i told you, because i wanted all of that to dissapear. i wanted to erase all of that, start over fresh. so i tried. but it didn't really work.
i can tell you that i had, i think, two girlfriends, but i have no idea how many boyfriends. i don't think i'll ever know. and really? i don't think i want to. but, it doesn't matter anymore. so, w/e. maybe now i can forget about it...
There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight
My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
There's something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
Like suddenly something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing
Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
he kissed her. and now...he promised he would try not to. and then the next day goes and kisses her. and this time, this time i am mad. i know that all of this started because alex kissed me while she and steven were together, but, hypocritical as it makes me seem, i am really not happy. steven, you should be glad i was still asleep. if i had been fully concious, i would have gone off on you. i would have felt really mean after i did, but i would have. i won't put what's running through my head down here. everything that i would be yelling at you if you were on the phone now, i'll keep all that to myself.
i'm mad, i don't know what to do, and honestly, compleatly honestly, i'm nervous. they LIVE together. and its things like this that make me nervous. this is the one relationship i DON'T want to loose.
i told her. i had to. it was bugging me that i lied to her about past relaionships. i was such a whore. its true that i haven't had a boy/girlfriend in about a year and a half, but it wasn't true that i hadn't had any. i would go with someone for 3-4 weeks, and then, when it began to mean to much to me, i would get the hell outta there. because i was scared. and then there was stephan. i was with him for a long time. or, a long time for me. maybe two months? i don't really remember, but he mattered. i began to love him, and so, eventually, i cut and ran. and then i like, shut myself off. so that i didn't have to go through that again.
and thats why, at first, all this scared me, because i COULDN'T cut and run. i couldn't make myself get out of this one. i was happy, which made it worse, because i wasn't used to being happy, i was used to using people. i don't remember the name of the guy who gave me my first kiss. i barley even remember what he looked like. and all of that is why i told you what i told you, because i wanted all of that to dissapear. i wanted to erase all of that, start over fresh. so i tried. but it didn't really work.
i can tell you that i had, i think, two girlfriends, but i have no idea how many boyfriends. i don't think i'll ever know. and really? i don't think i want to. but, it doesn't matter anymore. so, w/e. maybe now i can forget about it...
There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight
My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
There's something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
Like suddenly something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing
Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear?
Something I'm not seeing
Something infinitely interesting