(no subject)
Title: Adventures of a Tea-Pony
Summary: Ianto has a close encounter of the magic talking pony kind. Jack is amused.
Rating/Warnings: This is as G as a Torchwood fic can get, y'all.
Author's Note: This is for mechasquirrel, who knows why. Also, thanks to Robert for his description of the aliens (which I totally plagiarized borrowed), and suggestions about the artifact.
“Jack, it isn’t funny!”
“Come on, Ianto, you were adorable. All sparkly mane and little wings, with a tattoo on your . . .”
“Jack!” Ianto gave up on trying to look stern, and resorted to pouting.
“Well, you were cute. The rest of it wasn’t so good. But you were so sparkly!”
“The rest of it? You mean how the highly carnivorous Rift-beasties took on a roughly quadrupedal, highly neonatal form to evoke sympathy and positive feelings from humans, also known as their prey?”
“You’ve been hanging around Owen too long.”
“Jack, they were slime monsters! And they wanted to . . . assimilate me!”
“But everything’s fine now. They found their artifact and left. I do wonder what they wanted with a little plastic heart locket.”
“Jack, that ‘little plastic locket’ was holding the Rainbow of Darkness, remember? Deadly weapon, destroyed the Muchick civilization?”
“But we got you back to normal, and they don’t consider Earth a food source anymore!”
“And we had to ret-con an entire nursery school, and I’ve still got . . .”
“Still got what? Wings? A tail?”
“A tattoo,” muttered Ianto.
“Really? So you’ve still got a little pink coffee cup on your . . .”
“It’s light red, actually. And if you don’t stop with the sparkly comments, you’ll never see it again!”
Summary: Ianto has a close encounter of the magic talking pony kind. Jack is amused.
Rating/Warnings: This is as G as a Torchwood fic can get, y'all.
Author's Note: This is for mechasquirrel, who knows why. Also, thanks to Robert for his description of the aliens (which I totally plagiarized borrowed), and suggestions about the artifact.
“Jack, it isn’t funny!”
“Come on, Ianto, you were adorable. All sparkly mane and little wings, with a tattoo on your . . .”
“Jack!” Ianto gave up on trying to look stern, and resorted to pouting.
“Well, you were cute. The rest of it wasn’t so good. But you were so sparkly!”
“The rest of it? You mean how the highly carnivorous Rift-beasties took on a roughly quadrupedal, highly neonatal form to evoke sympathy and positive feelings from humans, also known as their prey?”
“You’ve been hanging around Owen too long.”
“Jack, they were slime monsters! And they wanted to . . . assimilate me!”
“But everything’s fine now. They found their artifact and left. I do wonder what they wanted with a little plastic heart locket.”
“Jack, that ‘little plastic locket’ was holding the Rainbow of Darkness, remember? Deadly weapon, destroyed the Muchick civilization?”
“But we got you back to normal, and they don’t consider Earth a food source anymore!”
“And we had to ret-con an entire nursery school, and I’ve still got . . .”
“Still got what? Wings? A tail?”
“A tattoo,” muttered Ianto.
“Really? So you’ve still got a little pink coffee cup on your . . .”
“It’s light red, actually. And if you don’t stop with the sparkly comments, you’ll never see it again!”