(no subject)
Wow.
What a shitty week it has been.
I had a breakdown at school yesterday in the counselors office. Stuff has just been piling up on me over the past month, and I would handle the stress and pain by lighting up a bowl. Obviously, this was a stupid decison, and I wouldn't recommend it.
Mr. Williams (my counselor), my dad, and myself unanimously decided I need medical help, seeing as how this depression has been an uphill battle for a year. What I found frustrating, yet, interesting is the fact that my grades directly represent what's going on in my life. If I'm feeling good, they're where they should be, if bad things are happening to me, they drop instantly. Four of my six classes have dropped at least a letter in the past two weeks. Sick. However, that will all be fixed by Wednesday at the absolute latest.
I've realized that I call upon the wrong people in times of need. It's very discouraging, knowing that I would do (and have done) anything in my power to help lighten the load emotionally for certain individuals. I put my own needs aside for awhile to make sure someone else can get through the day a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of saint, I don't do this for everyone, only one, actually. Someone I thought might return the favor someday.
Guess I was wrong.
What a shitty week it has been.
I had a breakdown at school yesterday in the counselors office. Stuff has just been piling up on me over the past month, and I would handle the stress and pain by lighting up a bowl. Obviously, this was a stupid decison, and I wouldn't recommend it.
Mr. Williams (my counselor), my dad, and myself unanimously decided I need medical help, seeing as how this depression has been an uphill battle for a year. What I found frustrating, yet, interesting is the fact that my grades directly represent what's going on in my life. If I'm feeling good, they're where they should be, if bad things are happening to me, they drop instantly. Four of my six classes have dropped at least a letter in the past two weeks. Sick. However, that will all be fixed by Wednesday at the absolute latest.
I've realized that I call upon the wrong people in times of need. It's very discouraging, knowing that I would do (and have done) anything in my power to help lighten the load emotionally for certain individuals. I put my own needs aside for awhile to make sure someone else can get through the day a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of saint, I don't do this for everyone, only one, actually. Someone I thought might return the favor someday.
Guess I was wrong.