Not Feeling The Christmas Spirit
Okay, probably not many people are feeling less holiday cheer than I am right now.
For one thing, I had not a shiny penny to spend for presents this year. Again. I know that Christmas is more about feeling the spirit than the giving and getting, but I'm beginning to get rather sick of winding up in this predicament. Good lord, I was able to afford more and better presents with my allowances when I was a kid!! This is like, the 4th year in a row this has happened to me. And this time, it wasn't for lack of trying to get a job. Nobody was interested in hiring just for the holidays. And that would have had to have been the case, since I'm moving ( hopefully ) 85 miles away to Vancouver, WA in the first week of January.
Not only that, but everything's set to go through with my transfer to WSU, except that I STILL don't have a place to live down there yet. The problem is not money: I'll have all the money I need on the 12th when my financial aid and loans become available to me. The problem is that all the affordable apartments are being snatched up at lightning-speed thanks to this stupid recession, and hardly anyone does rental apps online, meaning that I would have to physically go down to Vancouver to fill them out, and with all the F**ing snow and ice on the roads in my area, that is just not possible. The people in charge of Washington State roads are seriously inept at their jobs, and most routes remain treacherous and impassable. >.<
I hate it. I hate it so much I want to cry.
So, there's a very real chance that everything I've been working so hard for for the past few months may fall through, and I'll be stuck at home with people I can't stand living with ( it's not that I don't love them - I do - they just seriously, SERIOUSLY drive me up a wall ) for God knows how much longer. :(
And, as the icing on the barf cake, I'm turning 23 years old on January 5. I cannot stress enough how much I DO NOT want to age another year until I have my life in order.
To add insult to injury, everyone else being oh smiley-happy "Merry Christmas, neighbor!" cheerful is NOT helping my mood AT ALL. You know that saying that there's nothing a depressed person hates more than a cheerful person? True. So very, very true. It's annoying to see the rest of the world happy and spirited without a care in the world when your life is heading straight down a filthy toilet at warp speed.
Christmas. Bahumbug.
Suffice it to say I'm very depressed right now. In fact, I haven't felt this depressed in years.
For one thing, I had not a shiny penny to spend for presents this year. Again. I know that Christmas is more about feeling the spirit than the giving and getting, but I'm beginning to get rather sick of winding up in this predicament. Good lord, I was able to afford more and better presents with my allowances when I was a kid!! This is like, the 4th year in a row this has happened to me. And this time, it wasn't for lack of trying to get a job. Nobody was interested in hiring just for the holidays. And that would have had to have been the case, since I'm moving ( hopefully ) 85 miles away to Vancouver, WA in the first week of January.
Not only that, but everything's set to go through with my transfer to WSU, except that I STILL don't have a place to live down there yet. The problem is not money: I'll have all the money I need on the 12th when my financial aid and loans become available to me. The problem is that all the affordable apartments are being snatched up at lightning-speed thanks to this stupid recession, and hardly anyone does rental apps online, meaning that I would have to physically go down to Vancouver to fill them out, and with all the F**ing snow and ice on the roads in my area, that is just not possible. The people in charge of Washington State roads are seriously inept at their jobs, and most routes remain treacherous and impassable. >.<
I hate it. I hate it so much I want to cry.
So, there's a very real chance that everything I've been working so hard for for the past few months may fall through, and I'll be stuck at home with people I can't stand living with ( it's not that I don't love them - I do - they just seriously, SERIOUSLY drive me up a wall ) for God knows how much longer. :(
And, as the icing on the barf cake, I'm turning 23 years old on January 5. I cannot stress enough how much I DO NOT want to age another year until I have my life in order.
To add insult to injury, everyone else being oh smiley-happy "Merry Christmas, neighbor!" cheerful is NOT helping my mood AT ALL. You know that saying that there's nothing a depressed person hates more than a cheerful person? True. So very, very true. It's annoying to see the rest of the world happy and spirited without a care in the world when your life is heading straight down a filthy toilet at warp speed.
Christmas. Bahumbug.
Suffice it to say I'm very depressed right now. In fact, I haven't felt this depressed in years.