Forwarded from my mother...
Several of these are so danm true...
Kansas according to Jeff Foxworthy
If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Kansas.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Kansas.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Kansas.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Kansas
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.
If "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend, you live in Kansas.
You measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Kansas.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you might live in Kansas.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Kansas.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Kansas.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Kansas.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Kansas.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Kansas.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Kansas.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Kansas.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.., you might live in Kansas.
If Going Down South means Oklahoma, you might live in Kansas.
If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Kansas.
If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday, you might live in Kansas.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in Goodland Kansas.
If you find 0 degrees to be "a little chilly", you might live in Kansas.
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Kansas friends, you might live in Kansas.
Kansas according to Jeff Foxworthy
If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Kansas.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Kansas.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Kansas.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Kansas
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.
If "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend, you live in Kansas.
You measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Kansas.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you might live in Kansas.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Kansas.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Kansas.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Kansas.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Kansas.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Kansas.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Kansas.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Kansas.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.., you might live in Kansas.
If Going Down South means Oklahoma, you might live in Kansas.
If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Kansas.
If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday, you might live in Kansas.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in Goodland Kansas.
If you find 0 degrees to be "a little chilly", you might live in Kansas.
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Kansas friends, you might live in Kansas.