it's still a long taxi ride
Life is crazy. I can't wait for the bloody year to be over. Everything is bad bad bad right now. School is draining me. This is the first time I've been on the internet in the past four days. I believe it's one of those personal records. I've been away at Orava for the weekend anyway and I'm planning to go there this Thursday evening again. I'll work at aunt Mary's restaurant, because I desperately need money just as I desperately need to go back to Orava.
I went to see my good friend Stana there on Friday, but I'm not so inclined on seeing her so soon again. I love her to bits, but I'm so tired from listening how everyone's crazy about her, how succesful she is and how all the guys adore her either for her sense of humor or beauty or all those other things. Yes, call me jealous, you'll be right. I'm not ugly, maybe I'm not even fat, but I'm definitely overweight and I have issues. Sometimes I just feel so...weird and not very nice when someone keeps informing me of all the interest around them when I have none just because of the way I look. Or because of the way I just can't be. Because I'm me and I'm hard to approach or like. Eventually it's my fault probably, but my acknowledgment of this truth doesn't really make it easier to bear.
So, I'll do some work, earn a bit of money and spend time with the family, ignoring grandma who litterally does nothing else except pissing me off. She sees it her duty to bitch about us going to church, about us having the best grades and about us not standing out in any way, not being our own and just living the way we are supposed to according to her beliefs and what she thinks is right. Well, kiss my ass, grandma. I honestly cannot remember a day when we had a nice talk, when you comforted me, when you said something that was at least a bit nice.
Ah, the days are long and I still have a shitload of things to do before Thursday so I'll just take a shower, eat a grapefruit and spend the evening watching some television with my mum.
please someone get me out of that cab