light up, have heart
Finally I feel some closure and happiness tonight. Ever since Friday I just felt like crying the entire time. Not only was I stressing over my period delaying, but I had a fight with Monice and found out that on Friday I've been a little too friendly with Michael Bipolar. Nothing happened, supposedly I just blabbed strange things about loving him and hugged him a little too tightly topping it with kissing his neck. I mean, it's really not such a big deal. I warned them once that I'm dramatic by normal circumstances, not speaking of when I'm drunk. Most people tell the basic truth when they're drunk, I make up things and get too absorbed in fantasy. Like, I meet someone I've never felt the slightest romantic attraction to and confess a lifelong crush to him.
o.O
I'm such a loving person, I guess. And I'm not saying I don't have a real big weakness for Michael Bipolar since forever, but this is too much even for me. I've been just drunk and sad for a minute because of the fight with the boyfriend, and he was a good, cute friend close by, taking care of me. Well, no wonder I really adored him in that daze. Anyway, there are certain things every individual does when drunk. I hide when people are looking for me, giggling behind a bush; run across roads; kick off my shoes and run barefoot through the city square; confess nonexistent love to whomever.
But I told him and apologized, and he seems to take it well, so i hope it's all good. And still, he's got his Ivana and he seems to be really in love with her. How can I compete with that? I wouldn't even want to. It just hurts a bit, but I promise it's only a bit, to know that maybe this time, it wasn't completely a downright lie.
Getting quite a few lines off the topic. I'm happy, because I'm alright and I went jogging a real long distance. Usually I don't last as long, but today i seemed to have a lot of energy. And for one it wasn't angry energy, but content and happy energy. Today the running made me feel beautiful and great and relaxed and now I smell nice and am sitting in my bathrobe, ready to watch Erin Brockowich.