(no subject)
maybe i'm a bad person.
maybe i shouldn't give a fuck.
maybe i should keep reiterating the latter.
there are parts of me that are petrified of forgetting and others that are afraid of remembering.
all good memories are now tainted as the situation as it currently stands forces me to see them in a slighted perspective, and i hate that. so i choose to forget. or rather, ignore.
but as the time wears on, and the memories fade, i'm desperately attempting to hold onto them, praying for one more day to remember, but to no avail.
there are no longer good memories. just memories that were once good but now capable of closing my lungs.
and then there are the bad memories, the genuinely bad memories.
they only heighten every current feeling ruminating in my chest and invoke more and more uneasiness.
this is not how i wanted it to be.
but i suppose it's how it's going to.
whatever.
thanksgiving is soon. lancaster is soon. life is good. :] overall.
i don't have to justify or apologize for any of my actions in the past few weeks or in the weeks to come, and i'm finally realizing that. for those of you who don't like it, fuck you, and look the other way.
find better things to do with your damn time.
i have plans for everyday this week. muy excitedddd.
the end.
maybe i shouldn't give a fuck.
maybe i should keep reiterating the latter.
there are parts of me that are petrified of forgetting and others that are afraid of remembering.
all good memories are now tainted as the situation as it currently stands forces me to see them in a slighted perspective, and i hate that. so i choose to forget. or rather, ignore.
but as the time wears on, and the memories fade, i'm desperately attempting to hold onto them, praying for one more day to remember, but to no avail.
there are no longer good memories. just memories that were once good but now capable of closing my lungs.
and then there are the bad memories, the genuinely bad memories.
they only heighten every current feeling ruminating in my chest and invoke more and more uneasiness.
this is not how i wanted it to be.
but i suppose it's how it's going to.
whatever.
thanksgiving is soon. lancaster is soon. life is good. :] overall.
i don't have to justify or apologize for any of my actions in the past few weeks or in the weeks to come, and i'm finally realizing that. for those of you who don't like it, fuck you, and look the other way.
find better things to do with your damn time.
i have plans for everyday this week. muy excitedddd.
the end.