What to say after forever and a day...
You know what...
Even though I am still the same crazy stresspot that I have always been I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin...
I have been reading over the older entries in here and, although I haven't updated in such a long time (nearly two years) it feels good to be doing this again. Things change and friends change.
When I decided to finish this, it was at a time when I no longer had internet access all the time, and a friend of mine decided to go through a selfish stage with no concern for anyone else. And I'm okay with that now...I never thought I would be, in fact, if you had asked me this a year ago I would have said that I was dealing but still had issues. I would have been lying as well. I went through a plethora of emotions. I cried, I was humiliated and I felt so used and hurt and alone...then there was the anger. Aside from my rants I am not an angry person. In fact, I'm pretty laid back (ignoring my neurosis lol) but the anger I felt was nearly all consuming and it is one emotion that I never want to feel again.
I realise, now, that I should have stayed updating. If I had updated and had the support from the people I had friended on here it would have been a whole different matter. The support that I would have gotten from online would have been more therapeutic that any other form of therapy.
So, although I regret abandoning everything for so long I am back and, although i may not update everyday, I will update. For those of you who still have me on their lists I feel lucky and for those yet to get to know me...well...what can I say...life is one hell of a weird ride...
Even though I am still the same crazy stresspot that I have always been I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin...
I have been reading over the older entries in here and, although I haven't updated in such a long time (nearly two years) it feels good to be doing this again. Things change and friends change.
When I decided to finish this, it was at a time when I no longer had internet access all the time, and a friend of mine decided to go through a selfish stage with no concern for anyone else. And I'm okay with that now...I never thought I would be, in fact, if you had asked me this a year ago I would have said that I was dealing but still had issues. I would have been lying as well. I went through a plethora of emotions. I cried, I was humiliated and I felt so used and hurt and alone...then there was the anger. Aside from my rants I am not an angry person. In fact, I'm pretty laid back (ignoring my neurosis lol) but the anger I felt was nearly all consuming and it is one emotion that I never want to feel again.
I realise, now, that I should have stayed updating. If I had updated and had the support from the people I had friended on here it would have been a whole different matter. The support that I would have gotten from online would have been more therapeutic that any other form of therapy.
So, although I regret abandoning everything for so long I am back and, although i may not update everyday, I will update. For those of you who still have me on their lists I feel lucky and for those yet to get to know me...well...what can I say...life is one hell of a weird ride...