LOL!!! OMG...
I found the funniest thing tonight. Got this from this website called Witches of Lore (http://www.shadow-lore.org/). This is the funniest thing, and it actually got me to thinking: What do the Gods think when we call on them for guidance or for other favors? Check out this possible dialouge.
*****************
Thor: Evening.
Zeus: Evening. God?
Thor: Yep. You too?
Zeus: Yep.
Pause
Thor: How long ago did they invoke you?
Zeus: About half an hour. Still singing those awful songs though.
Thor: We all come from the Goddess?
Zeus: That's the dirge. Cheek. You've heard that other one? We are
the old people, we are the new people, we are same people, wiser from
before?
Thor: Yeah. What do you make of it?
Zeus: Olympus knows. If they're so bloody wise why can't they work
out whether they're old, new or the same? Where you from?
Thor: Up North. Thunder God.
Zeus: Hey, really? Me too. King of the Gods round our way. You?
Thor: Sometimes, depends on the saga. Oh look, they're sacrificing
some stuff.
In the circle some mead is poured onto the ground. Thor holds hands
out and mead flows into them from the ground.
Thor: How am I supposed to get rat-faced on this? Half a bloody
thimbleful.
Zeus: What is it?
Thor: Mead. Made from honey.
Zeus: Alcoholic?
Thor: Yep.
Cerridwen: Evening boys.
Thor and Zeus: Whoa Nelly.
Cerridwen: Pour it in this cauldron.
Thor does so. Cauldron fills with mead.
Thor: I have GOT to get me one of those.
Zeus (drinking): Mmmm. Nice. That eye-tie girl, Fortuna, she's got a
horn like that. Keeps it stuffed with fruit all the time though.
This is good stuff. Let's pass it round before the wine gets poured.
Thor: Wine?
Zeus: O, believe me, if you like this stuff you're gonna love wine.
Hey girlie, where you from?
Cerridwen: Wales. Got left out of the 7 Goddess chant because
Americans think Wales is part of England or something. And they
never pour cider in this damn country. COME ON OUT LADS.
Various pantheons of deities emerge from trees, gather round and
scoop mead.
Venus: Honey. It's booze made from honey. And bees are sacred to me.
Why didn't my priestesses think of this?
Zeus: Heads up, here comes the wine.
In the distance, wine is poured on the ground. Dionysus holds out
hands, wine flows from ground and he pours it into the cauldron.
Cauldron fills with wine. Deities greedily scoop up and drink.
Long pause
Thor: What is this crap?
Zeus: Whaddya mean, this is wine. This is good stuff. This is, this
is ... this is NON-ALCOHOLIC. WHO ORDERED THIS?
Evil Demon: It is I, Alconon, Lord of the 12 Steps. Where's
everyone going?
Gods and Goddesses disperse, mumbling. In the distance, the ritual
continues for hours and hours and hours.
*********************
This is one of the funniest things I have seen in my life so far. Very well done. Hope you enjoyed this. And check out The Witches Lore. It seems like a really good site. Night everyone.
Brightest Blessings,
ShadowWolf
*****************
Thor: Evening.
Zeus: Evening. God?
Thor: Yep. You too?
Zeus: Yep.
Pause
Thor: How long ago did they invoke you?
Zeus: About half an hour. Still singing those awful songs though.
Thor: We all come from the Goddess?
Zeus: That's the dirge. Cheek. You've heard that other one? We are
the old people, we are the new people, we are same people, wiser from
before?
Thor: Yeah. What do you make of it?
Zeus: Olympus knows. If they're so bloody wise why can't they work
out whether they're old, new or the same? Where you from?
Thor: Up North. Thunder God.
Zeus: Hey, really? Me too. King of the Gods round our way. You?
Thor: Sometimes, depends on the saga. Oh look, they're sacrificing
some stuff.
In the circle some mead is poured onto the ground. Thor holds hands
out and mead flows into them from the ground.
Thor: How am I supposed to get rat-faced on this? Half a bloody
thimbleful.
Zeus: What is it?
Thor: Mead. Made from honey.
Zeus: Alcoholic?
Thor: Yep.
Cerridwen: Evening boys.
Thor and Zeus: Whoa Nelly.
Cerridwen: Pour it in this cauldron.
Thor does so. Cauldron fills with mead.
Thor: I have GOT to get me one of those.
Zeus (drinking): Mmmm. Nice. That eye-tie girl, Fortuna, she's got a
horn like that. Keeps it stuffed with fruit all the time though.
This is good stuff. Let's pass it round before the wine gets poured.
Thor: Wine?
Zeus: O, believe me, if you like this stuff you're gonna love wine.
Hey girlie, where you from?
Cerridwen: Wales. Got left out of the 7 Goddess chant because
Americans think Wales is part of England or something. And they
never pour cider in this damn country. COME ON OUT LADS.
Various pantheons of deities emerge from trees, gather round and
scoop mead.
Venus: Honey. It's booze made from honey. And bees are sacred to me.
Why didn't my priestesses think of this?
Zeus: Heads up, here comes the wine.
In the distance, wine is poured on the ground. Dionysus holds out
hands, wine flows from ground and he pours it into the cauldron.
Cauldron fills with wine. Deities greedily scoop up and drink.
Long pause
Thor: What is this crap?
Zeus: Whaddya mean, this is wine. This is good stuff. This is, this
is ... this is NON-ALCOHOLIC. WHO ORDERED THIS?
Evil Demon: It is I, Alconon, Lord of the 12 Steps. Where's
everyone going?
Gods and Goddesses disperse, mumbling. In the distance, the ritual
continues for hours and hours and hours.
*********************
This is one of the funniest things I have seen in my life so far. Very well done. Hope you enjoyed this. And check out The Witches Lore. It seems like a really good site. Night everyone.
Brightest Blessings,
ShadowWolf