The Ghost in the Back of my Head
You stand in front of a desk, dusty shelves full of books, boxes, and piles of paper stretch out in all directions. The only clean spot is the desk, and the elegant lady behind it. Her jacket and skirt are crisply pressed, her hair wrapped into a neat bun, two rods holding it in place. She looks up at you expectantly.
"I'm here to see,"
"Yes, yes, a bit late but nevertheless, you're here. Follow me." She leads you through rows and rows of shelves, deeper and deeper into the storage. Looking back you can no longer see the desk. A small room sits in a small space free of the shelves. "Here we are."
You peek through the small window set into the door. The lady stands beside you to look through as well. The room is empty save the woman pacing in circles. You see she is talking and gesturing with her hands but no sound leaks through the soundproofing.
"She appeared this morning, destroyed nearly all of the organization in this wing before we got the room put up and her in it." You look around, searching for this organization the lady speaks of. "I know you don't see it but it makes sense to us, leave it be. We'll be hours setting things to right again. Anyhow, I do believe she's rather upset."
"Why is the room sound proofed?"
"Because if we had to listen to her all the time we'd be nothing more than a crying mess in the corner and there's work to be done so we took care of the problem." Her hand glides across the intercom next to the door and presses a switch. The wild gestures begin to make sense as the words pour through the small speaker and it becomes plain that she's arguing with herself.
"What if he hates me. What if I'm not good enough. What if I'm not who he thinks I am. Hush, listen to yourself. He loves you, tells you that all the time. He thinks you're amazing. He's read about you, talked to you, knows you. But what if I'm not pretty enough. He tells you you're beautiful all the time." She buries her face in her hands and sinks to the floor. "I know, I'm just so scared. I just want him to like me and I'm afraid he won't." She wipes the tears from her eyes and is fine for a few moments before the whole exchange begins again, pacing and all.
"Can she hear us?"
"No, one way speaker, and she wouldn't hear you even if it wasn't."
"She been like this all day?"
"Yes, she was tossing things off the shelves before we got her in there. I'm afraid she's very nervous."
"I see that. Is there a cure, something?"
"Nothing, other than time and experience. We'll let her out on Friday though so she can work some of it out. Destroying the files is inevitable, but we'd like to put it off for a while. Afterward we'll pick up the pieces and find that most are whole anyhow."
"What do you mean?"
"He loves her, she knows it, it's just first meeting nerves. We keep her in there to make sure she doesn't make herself sick over it. Eventually she'll wind down after we let her loose and she'll prove to herself that he loves her." You glance at the lady, she looks a bit sick herself.
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Yes, I don't think my lunch is sitting all that well though. I need to head back to the front, are you ready?"
"Yes, thank you for showing me."
"It's my job." She presses the switch again and the woman's voice fades. The lady's eyes shine with unshed tears as she peers in the window again. "Soon dear, very soon all will be well again," she whispers. She turns and leads you back through the maze of shelves to the desk. You realize you've been dismissed as she turns to her papers and begins cross referencing again. With one final look back you make your way to the door.
Yeah, I'm a bit scared, nervous, excited. I have a countdown on my desk at work. Date - 3 days, Halloween - 6 days, Birthday - 19 days.
lackland? feralwolf01? Will one of you make sure I get some rest, if not actual sleep Friday night, even if you have to tie me down. On second thought, if you tie me down I won't get much of either. Okay, then just make sure I'm unconscious, that should work.
"I'm here to see,"
"Yes, yes, a bit late but nevertheless, you're here. Follow me." She leads you through rows and rows of shelves, deeper and deeper into the storage. Looking back you can no longer see the desk. A small room sits in a small space free of the shelves. "Here we are."
You peek through the small window set into the door. The lady stands beside you to look through as well. The room is empty save the woman pacing in circles. You see she is talking and gesturing with her hands but no sound leaks through the soundproofing.
"She appeared this morning, destroyed nearly all of the organization in this wing before we got the room put up and her in it." You look around, searching for this organization the lady speaks of. "I know you don't see it but it makes sense to us, leave it be. We'll be hours setting things to right again. Anyhow, I do believe she's rather upset."
"Why is the room sound proofed?"
"Because if we had to listen to her all the time we'd be nothing more than a crying mess in the corner and there's work to be done so we took care of the problem." Her hand glides across the intercom next to the door and presses a switch. The wild gestures begin to make sense as the words pour through the small speaker and it becomes plain that she's arguing with herself.
"What if he hates me. What if I'm not good enough. What if I'm not who he thinks I am. Hush, listen to yourself. He loves you, tells you that all the time. He thinks you're amazing. He's read about you, talked to you, knows you. But what if I'm not pretty enough. He tells you you're beautiful all the time." She buries her face in her hands and sinks to the floor. "I know, I'm just so scared. I just want him to like me and I'm afraid he won't." She wipes the tears from her eyes and is fine for a few moments before the whole exchange begins again, pacing and all.
"Can she hear us?"
"No, one way speaker, and she wouldn't hear you even if it wasn't."
"She been like this all day?"
"Yes, she was tossing things off the shelves before we got her in there. I'm afraid she's very nervous."
"I see that. Is there a cure, something?"
"Nothing, other than time and experience. We'll let her out on Friday though so she can work some of it out. Destroying the files is inevitable, but we'd like to put it off for a while. Afterward we'll pick up the pieces and find that most are whole anyhow."
"What do you mean?"
"He loves her, she knows it, it's just first meeting nerves. We keep her in there to make sure she doesn't make herself sick over it. Eventually she'll wind down after we let her loose and she'll prove to herself that he loves her." You glance at the lady, she looks a bit sick herself.
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Yes, I don't think my lunch is sitting all that well though. I need to head back to the front, are you ready?"
"Yes, thank you for showing me."
"It's my job." She presses the switch again and the woman's voice fades. The lady's eyes shine with unshed tears as she peers in the window again. "Soon dear, very soon all will be well again," she whispers. She turns and leads you back through the maze of shelves to the desk. You realize you've been dismissed as she turns to her papers and begins cross referencing again. With one final look back you make your way to the door.
Yeah, I'm a bit scared, nervous, excited. I have a countdown on my desk at work. Date - 3 days, Halloween - 6 days, Birthday - 19 days.
lackland? feralwolf01? Will one of you make sure I get some rest, if not actual sleep Friday night, even if you have to tie me down. On second thought, if you tie me down I won't get much of either. Okay, then just make sure I'm unconscious, that should work.