Bent, Broken, Reborn
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
She was raised to be quiet, to be considerate. Somewhere along the way this translated to “Do for Others.”
For years she took a step back. She did everything for others. She was the invisible girl. She paved the way for friends and made things easier for them. She held her tongue when it hurt just so they wouldn’t believe anything other than the happy lies they told themselves. She bent. She bowed. She quite honestly almost broke. She was nearly dead inside.
A boyfriend asked her a question that shook her to her core.
“You are always doing for others, making them happy. When do you make yourself happy?”
She loved him so very much. His words echoed in the empty spaces that filled her and snapped the last little resistance she had. She rested her head on his knee and let the tears flow. She sobbed as the reality of the situation hit her. She couldn’t do this anymore. Life wasn’t going to change. She would have to change. Living without being happy was not living, it was existing, and it was no longer enough.
She reached out and grabbed her life. She took control and began shaping the world around her. She became a person instead of a shadow. She was dynamic and charismatic. She was happy.
She met a man. They fell in love. They married. Everybody smiled at how adoring they were.
It was easy to fall into old habits, blindingly easy. She suppressed herself again. If it was for him it was good. If it was for them (and ultimately for him) it was good. If it was for her it was less good. It was better if she could phrase it as a request, allow him to gift her with the necessary needs. But the guilt associated … enough to drown in.
And drown she did.
We don’t know what caused the change. It may have been something as simple as somebody seeing her as a person again, instead of “his wife.” It may have been the realization that her long time dream had been within reach and pure happenstance caused it to flutter out of her reach.
That inner spark flared. Again she wept as she realized her entire life was changing, being ripped apart by the dreams she needed to pursue. She wrestled with the truth of it all. Defeated, she began to dismantle her life so that she could build a new one, one that included freedom, happiness, and equality.
She once more became that strong girl, the one that had a purpose, a drive. She found her passion and pursued it with a vengeance. She also made time to raise up her friends, to show them love and support. She found her inner light again. She found happiness.
She found a guy. He nurtured that inner calm, that happiness. He added to that joy for life and refused to let her diminish herself for him. He added to her and she added to him.
She hoped it was part of her dream come true on the road to all her dreams coming true. But she was willing to walk if it wasn’t. She had unbent her back and found her purpose. She wasn’t going to return to being that invisible girl, that silent shadow. Life suddenly had a new shine to it.
*May or may not be based on truth.