Me Venting About 2008
This Is Just Therapy For Me You Don't Have To Read It
Waking up this morning I looked at my calendar and thought holy frigen crap its nearly the end of November already. And That got me starting to think about what a year this has been. The start of this year was amazing I had a brilliant job with lots of people who I got on with even if my boss was a controling bitch, I even had adopted aunties at Viewpoint haha. But then thingsm suddenly got worse and I started feeling lower and lower everyday I didn't realise it at the time but I was clinically depressed. Depression. Never thought that would happen to me Nichola Wheelan the girl whos always smiling and laughing at the weirdest things and at inappropriate times. But it did happen. It eventually got so bad that I took an overdose and ended up in hopital on suicide watch. After Id done it i realised how stupid it was lying there on my own having time to think I rememberd something my mum had said years ago. "If I lost one of you part of me would die inside because your my babys". I felt so guilty that i could of done that to her depression or not. Shes been so strong since we lost Dad 10 years ago, shes had to go out and work long hours as a Care Worker even though she was diagnosed with Rhumatoid Arthritis 4 Years ago. It wasn't fair to her. Then I thought about what my friends were going to think. At this time I was still really close with my mate Craig who I do't really talk to much now which Is a shame cause I miss him alot he was always there for me. I was on the phone to him 2 days after I got out and he kept asking what was up with me and why I was in the hospital. I couldn't say it outloud "Oh I tried to kill myself" I had to do it on msn. He was shocked that kind of thing wasn't like me at all. We talked for a while and I told him what had been going on in my head at the time. He promised he'd be there for me whenever I needed him and I was grateful for that. The second person I told was Carrie. I felt really bad telling her she is my best friend in the whole world. I can't remember if she did but i cried when I told her it felt so good to be able to talk about it I made her promise not to tell anyone it was one of thoes "Dark Family Secret" things but most people I know know all about it now.
Reflecting back on April when all of that crap happend Im so glad Im still here I might not have met some of the amazing people I did Carrie <3 Matt <3 Thumper <3 Becky <3 Denny David Naomi Jen Jenna Fergie John Levi Chris. Ive gotten over my depression and Im alot better now. Music seems to help and laugh all you want yes it is My Chemical Romance. I listen to them whenever Im feeling crap and I always feel so much better afterwords.
My Chemical Romance <3333
Gerard.....<3
Frankie....<3
Mikey........<3
Bob...........<3
Ray............<3
Waking up this morning I looked at my calendar and thought holy frigen crap its nearly the end of November already. And That got me starting to think about what a year this has been. The start of this year was amazing I had a brilliant job with lots of people who I got on with even if my boss was a controling bitch, I even had adopted aunties at Viewpoint haha. But then thingsm suddenly got worse and I started feeling lower and lower everyday I didn't realise it at the time but I was clinically depressed. Depression. Never thought that would happen to me Nichola Wheelan the girl whos always smiling and laughing at the weirdest things and at inappropriate times. But it did happen. It eventually got so bad that I took an overdose and ended up in hopital on suicide watch. After Id done it i realised how stupid it was lying there on my own having time to think I rememberd something my mum had said years ago. "If I lost one of you part of me would die inside because your my babys". I felt so guilty that i could of done that to her depression or not. Shes been so strong since we lost Dad 10 years ago, shes had to go out and work long hours as a Care Worker even though she was diagnosed with Rhumatoid Arthritis 4 Years ago. It wasn't fair to her. Then I thought about what my friends were going to think. At this time I was still really close with my mate Craig who I do't really talk to much now which Is a shame cause I miss him alot he was always there for me. I was on the phone to him 2 days after I got out and he kept asking what was up with me and why I was in the hospital. I couldn't say it outloud "Oh I tried to kill myself" I had to do it on msn. He was shocked that kind of thing wasn't like me at all. We talked for a while and I told him what had been going on in my head at the time. He promised he'd be there for me whenever I needed him and I was grateful for that. The second person I told was Carrie. I felt really bad telling her she is my best friend in the whole world. I can't remember if she did but i cried when I told her it felt so good to be able to talk about it I made her promise not to tell anyone it was one of thoes "Dark Family Secret" things but most people I know know all about it now.
Reflecting back on April when all of that crap happend Im so glad Im still here I might not have met some of the amazing people I did Carrie <3 Matt <3 Thumper <3 Becky <3 Denny David Naomi Jen Jenna Fergie John Levi Chris. Ive gotten over my depression and Im alot better now. Music seems to help and laugh all you want yes it is My Chemical Romance. I listen to them whenever Im feeling crap and I always feel so much better afterwords.
My Chemical Romance <3333
Gerard.....<3
Frankie....<3
Mikey........<3
Bob...........<3
Ray............<3