Motivation Slump
So, I am still laid up with my broken leg (though that's over-dramatising it, seeing as it's only a hairline fracture and a sprain), slowly getting back to walking without a splint and crutches, but not ready to go back to work yet
( Read more... )
Ugggh I'm so sorry to hear that you banged up your leg. I hope you're able to take some more time to rest up and let it heal. ♥
I wonder why that is? Uni-related burn-out that got me in the habit of procrastinating absolutely everything (even things I love) just for procrastination's sake years ago, and that I've been unable to shake since? A perfectionist's sense of self-preservation, meant to keep me from sinking infinite time and attention into something I'll never be great at/get no practical value out of? Lack of an enthusiastic audience? A mixture of all of these? *sigh*
Any advice?
Sending some hugs. ♥ And, yeah, I'd definitely vote with a mixture of all of those, gah.
And as for advice... hmm. First off, in terms of the uni-burn-out-procrastination bit... I know for me, for the three years since university ended, being creative with fandom-related things (writing, drawing, making gifs, cosplaying, whatever) has kinda been like reclaiming some of the creativity and life enthusiasm that uni kicked out of me, if that helps. ♥ Uni taught me some very poor life habits, and I'm definitely actively working to kick those.
As for the perfectionism bit - honestly, m'dear, if it helps at all, methinks that very few readers are going to care if what you're writing is 'perfect'. :) I know how easy it is to want stuff that you do to be perfect; but when it comes to fic, on a readership level, methinks most folks are just happy to have new and well-written stuff to read.
Andddd as for an audience - what is it you're mostly writing? Cause I adore the Destiel fandom, I do, but it's not always exactly the most interactive (especially since so many people have gotten fed up with the show, and moved on to other fandoms)... but if you'd like, I dunno, a list of fandoms that are awesome and incredibly interactive, I'd be happy to make one for ya. :) Cause I hear ya - having an active audience definitely helps with writing. ♥
But, yes. Sorry for the long ramble! Hope there's something in there that might help, and hope your leg gets feeling better soon. :)
Reply
Thanks, love! I still have next week off, and I hope that will be enough, otherwise my job security isn't looking too good. (It's illegal to fire someone over sick time here, but I'm only a temp, so they can get rid of me in a heartbeat for any other reason they want.)
Sending some hugs. ♥
*hugs back gratefully*
And, yeah, I'd definitely vote with a mixture of all of those, gah.
Yeah, probably, it's never just one thing. That would be too easy. :/
And as for advice... hmm. First off, in terms of the uni-burn-out-procrastination bit... I know for me, for the three years since university ended, being creative with fandom-related things (writing, drawing, making gifs, cosplaying, whatever) has kinda been like reclaiming some of the creativity and life enthusiasm that uni kicked out of me, if that helps. ♥ Uni taught me some very poor life habits, and I'm definitely actively working to kick those.
I'm still working on that. I'm making inroads on the sleep patterns, but otherwise I'm still caught in some very negative habits (procrastination, avoidance, aimlessness when not on a deadline, lack of long-term planning...). I am glad to hear that it is possible to shed them -- kudos to you for the progress and having an actual strategy! :)
As for the perfectionism bit - honestly, m'dear, if it helps at all, methinks that very few readers are going to care if what you're writing is 'perfect'. :) I know how easy it is to want stuff that you do to be perfect; but when it comes to fic, on a readership level, methinks most folks are just happy to have new and well-written stuff to read.
As a reader, I agree. But as a writer, I'm constantly comparing my output to others' work and find it falling short in both quality and quantity. There's such a huge gap between the fic I want to write and the fic I actually wind up writing, it drives me to distraction. (Which is why all I've been putting up on AO3 lately are kink meme fills. The stakes are much lower if I'm not aiming for genuine emotional impact/to make a point other than porn.)
Andddd as for an audience - what is it you're mostly writing?
Several stories! SPN mostly, but some Vikings, Lost Girl, Outlander, and Hallows stuff, too. (And I've been fighting off the Musketeers and Hobbit bunnies with a stick as well.) But the two main stories I've got the most progress on and would like to bounce off someone are SPN, one is Dean/Cas post-S8 fic (AU as of 9x03), the other Dean/Benny crossdressing crack, AU after mid-S8. (You see how great my writing speed is. I still have unfinished S5 fic in a drawer somewhere as well. :p)
Cause I adore the Destiel fandom, I do, but it's not always exactly the most interactive (especially since so many people have gotten fed up with the show, and moved on to other fandoms)...
Yeah, I'm pretty fed up with current SPN canon myself. The show just feels really cheap and shallow lately. No wonder everyone is leaving. And the quality of the fanfic is largely abysmal as well. (Who the hell needs 25,000 coffee shop AUs? I have been to a coffee shop exactly once in my life -- unless you count being a bewildered tourist in a Tim Horton's, which would make it twice -- and that was quite enough to put me off the experience. What is the appeal of coffee shops? What the appeal of those AUs? Eternal mysteries to me! XD)
but if you'd like, I dunno, a list of fandoms that are awesome and incredibly interactive, I'd be happy to make one for ya. :) Cause I hear ya - having an active audience definitely helps with writing. ♥
Thank you, but that's not really the way it works for me. :/ I choose my fandoms by genre and other plot-related appeal, not by the activity-level of the fandom.
Sorry for the long ramble! Hope there's something in there that might help, and hope your leg gets feeling better soon. :)
Don't apologise! Thank you for the helpful advice and good wishes, and for taking the time to comment! :) *hugs more*
Reply
Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that, truly. Shitty employment situations are not fun. :S I'm sending lots of good thoughts, and I really hope your leg gets feeling better very soon. ♥
I'm still working on that. I'm making inroads on the sleep patterns, but otherwise I'm still caught in some very negative habits (procrastination, avoidance, aimlessness when not on a deadline, lack of long-term planning...). I am glad to hear that it is possible to shed them -- kudos to you for the progress and having an actual strategy! :)
Eeee, thank ya. It's been almost three years since uni, and I'm finally starting to recover. XD As for making inroads on sleep patterns - boo yeah! That's so awesome, it really is. And best of luck with everything else. ♥
As a reader, I agree. But as a writer, I'm constantly comparing my output to others' work and find it falling short in both quality and quantity. There's such a huge gap between the fic I want to write and the fic I actually wind up writing, it drives me to distraction.
Yeah, I understand that. Writing can definitely be an incredibly aggravating process at times.
(Which is why all I've been putting up on AO3 lately are kink meme fills. The stakes are much lower if I'm not aiming for genuine emotional impact/to make a point other than porn.)
Well, I'm very glad to hear that you've found a writing activity that's currently working for you. :) And, yeah, kink memes are pretty awesome.
Several stories! SPN mostly, but some Vikings, Lost Girl, Outlander, and Hallows stuff, too. (And I've been fighting off the Musketeers and Hobbit bunnies with a stick as well.)
Ahahaha yessss Hobbit bunnies. ♥ My Hobbit ships are Thorin/Bilbo and Bard/Thranduil... any chance we may have any in common? :)
But the two main stories I've got the most progress on and would like to bounce off someone are SPN, one is Dean/Cas post-S8 fic (AU as of 9x03), the other Dean/Benny crossdressing crack, AU after mid-S8. (You see how great my writing speed is. I still have unfinished S5 fic in a drawer somewhere as well. :p)
Ahaaha, if it helps, I have stories I've been working on forever, too; so I understand. :) And I've never been a Dean/Benny person (I'm too OTP-forever where Destiel is concerned), but I'd definitely love to read your post-S8 Dean/Cas one, if ya ever do finish writing it. And I wish you tons and tons of luck with writing both of them. :)
Yeah, I'm pretty fed up with current SPN canon myself.
Riggggght? Uggggh. -facepalm-
(Who the hell needs 25,000 coffee shop AUs? I have been to a coffee shop exactly once in my life -- unless you count being a bewildered tourist in a Tim Horton's, which would make it twice -- and that was quite enough to put me off the experience. What is the appeal of coffee shops? What the appeal of those AUs? Eternal mysteries to me! XD)
I'm going to be giggling about this for a long time. Also, as a Canadian - unless you count being a bewildered tourist in a Tim Horton's - this is one of the best things I've ever read. Thank you for making my night. ♥
Thank you, but that's not really the way it works for me. :/ I choose my fandoms by genre and other plot-related appeal, not by the activity-level of the fandom.
Aye, fair enough. Well, I wish you the best of luck finding lots of awesome fandoms to be part of. :)
Don't apologise! Thank you for the helpful advice and good wishes, and for taking the time to comment! :) *hugs more*
Oh, gosh, no worries. Sending lots of hugs back. :)
Reply
Looking good! I've got some more physical therapy coming up, but I should be able to get back on my bike this weekend and thus to work on Monday. (It's terrible, not being able to ride a bike! I can't get anywhere like this! My mom and friends had to bring me groceries for the last three weeks.)
Eeee, thank ya. It's been almost three years since uni, and I'm finally starting to recover. XD
*fistbumps*
Yeah, I understand that. Writing can definitely be an incredibly aggravating process at times.
But the maybe 5% of the time where it's not aggravating, it's awesome, like the best kind of trance. XD
Well, I'm very glad to hear that you've found a writing activity that's currently working for you. :) And, yeah, kink memes are pretty awesome.
They can be inspiring, yes! Low pressure at least. But I don't always have the strength to go wading through all the kinks that squick me. :/
Ahahaha yessss Hobbit bunnies. ♥ My Hobbit ships are Thorin/Bilbo and Bard/Thranduil... any chance we may have any in common? :)
Thorin/Bilbo! Yes! (And Bilbo/dwarf orgy. *cough*) And Bilbo/Gandalf! Though the latter has roughly zero stories to its name. *pouts*
Ahaaha, if it helps, I have stories I've been working on forever, too; so I understand. :)
It's horrible! I maybe post 10% of what I write -- at most! Because the rest just gets stuck at some point and then I don't touch it for so long that even just looking at the closed file makes me vaguely nauseous with guilt/failure like an overdue uni paper.
And I've never been a Dean/Benny person (I'm too OTP-forever where Destiel is concerned)
I like both ships, because they complement each other very nicely. (I can't really see Dean/Benny without background Dean/Cas!)
but I'd definitely love to read your post-S8 Dean/Cas one, if ya ever do finish writing it. And I wish you tons and tons of luck with writing both of them. :)
Thank you! I shamelessly went ahead and posted the first chapter in the (most likely futile) hopes that getting some sort of public response may help me keep writing. ;_; I look forward to hearing what you think of it once it's done! :D
Riggggght? Uggggh. -facepalm-
It's just so cartoonish and technicolour and devoid of deeper meaning lately. *sigh* I haven't truly enjoyed the show since the latter half of S8. (And before that, I hated S7 as well.) The bunker is cool, but it just doesn't fit! And I don't like how human Cas has become. And Crowley, too. They really ruined the character. And the heaven, hell and veil storylines wasted all their potential -- again.
I'm going to be giggling about this for a long time. Also, as a Canadian - unless you count being a bewildered tourist in a Tim Horton's - this is one of the best things I've ever read. Thank you for making my night. ♥
I am glad I amused you. XD I love Canada, but your idea of hot chocolate wounds my soul. *ducks and runs*
Aye, fair enough. Well, I wish you the best of luck finding lots of awesome fandoms to be part of. :)
Hush! I already have more fandoms than I have time for! D:
Sending lots of hugs back. :)
*more hugs*
Reply
Yeah, that sounds aggravating. I hope you get all healed up and get to ride your bike soon. ♥
But the maybe 5% of the time where it's not aggravating, it's awesome, like the best kind of trance. XD
Yeeeeah. :)
Thorin/Bilbo! Yes! (And Bilbo/dwarf orgy. *cough*) And Bilbo/Gandalf! Though the latter has roughly zero stories to its name. *pouts*
Ahaha I love all the dwarves so much, oh my gosh. And I hope that you find some Bilbo/Gandalf stories. :)
It's horrible! I maybe post 10% of what I write -- at most! Because the rest just gets stuck at some point and then I don't touch it for so long that even just looking at the closed file makes me vaguely nauseous with guilt/failure like an overdue uni paper.
Yeah, I know that feeling. Goddamn, lingering university-induced bad habits and negativity.
I like both ships, because they complement each other very nicely. (I can't really see Dean/Benny without background Dean/Cas!)
Gotcha. :) And I shall most definitely check out the other one you're working on! Glad to hear ya posted some of it.
It's just so cartoonish and technicolour and devoid of deeper meaning lately. *sigh* I haven't truly enjoyed the show since the latter half of S8. (And before that, I hated S7 as well.) The bunker is cool, but it just doesn't fit! And I don't like how human Cas has become. And Crowley, too. They really ruined the character. And the heaven, hell and veil storylines wasted all their potential -- again.
I concur with so, so much of this, oh my god. I hated S6 and S7, I missed Sgr8 so much, and S9 and 10 have just been... blergh, mostly.
I am glad I amused you. XD I love Canada, but your idea of hot chocolate wounds my soul. *ducks and runs*
Ahahaha lies and slanddder. (Actually though I hear ya. Timmies coffee is basically just warm sugar water. It's ridiculous.)
Hush! I already have more fandoms than I have time for! D:
Ahahaha, yeah, fair enough.
Reply
Back in the saddle, and immediately less grouchy about work. After sitting at the desk all day, the last thing I need is sitting on the bus, and after talking to customers and colleagues all day, the last thing I need is aggravating on-the-bus small-talk with said collegues.
Ahaha I love all the dwarves so much, oh my gosh. And I hope that you find some Bilbo/Gandalf stories. :)
Not really. Rule 34 is failing me... :p
Yeah, I know that feeling. Goddamn, lingering university-induced bad habits and negativity.
*kicks it*
I concur with so, so much of this, oh my god. I hated S6 and S7, I missed Sgr8 so much, and S9 and 10 have just been... blergh, mostly.
S6 was saved by its ending, imo, but the other seasons had no Edlund wrap-up to save them, so they sucked massively. And S6 was actually salvageable, because at least the tone was serious. I loved how much of a deliberate trainwreck Dean/Lisa was, and I loved Cas going darkside and working with Crowley. After S6, it was mostly just silly stuff. With exception of Benny. I liked him. ;)
Ahahaha lies and slanddder. (Actually though I hear ya. Timmies coffee is basically just warm sugar water. It's ridiculous.)
I don't drink coffee, but I can assure you, the hot chocolate somehow manages to be more offensive than hot sugar water.
Good muffins though. >.>
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment