(no subject)
I was feeling domestic, doing laundry. It's a lovely day outside.
I got a belated father's day visit and now I feel... lost.
My... we'll say granddaughter, dropped in for a brief visit. To explain, I didn't *know* I had a granddaughter until roughly ten years ago. I found out while on a business trip. Yes, I have obviously been promiscuous in the past, and no, I haven't been for a very, very long time. After meeting her, she moved out to New York, not even as much to be with me, as to get away from her overbearing mother. She lived under my roof, because I am supposedly a trustworthy relative, and I saw to it that she was safe, and she made friends, and New York became home. When I retired, I left New York and moved down here to be with Bridgie.
We've never been close, I don't understand her all that well, we don't have a great deal in common. I do love her. She's my blood, and she's a sweet girl, and she deserves the best in life. I make a terrible father, and I'm not sure I've been much of a grandfather either. She gave me a #1 Grandpa shirt one year, an I was mortified. Everyone else thought it was funny.
She came to say happy father's day. Then she wound up telling me how she keeps switching majors and she hasn't gotten as far in college as fast as she hoped, and she's been having anxiety attacks, and she wants to take a break from her job and just generally feels like everything's falling apart. On the one hand, I feel as though I shouldn't be surprised, because she was home-schooled and generally over-protected by her mother up until I met her.
On the other hand, it sounds so much like what Bridgielove went through in college and I know that still bothers her. I wish Bridgie hadn't gone through it, for her sake, although it doesn't bother me and I'm happy we wound up together, and I happen to know she's brilliant. It's still not something anyone should have to go through. She said she was thinking of seeing a psychiatrist and trying to go on anti-anxiety medication. She... also said she was thinking of moving out of New York entirely, and moving somewhere close to me.
I told her I fully support whatever she feels is best.
All this in half an hour or less, because everything with that girl is like some kind of drive-by. I feel lost. I don't know how I feel about her living close by. I feel like I barely know her, and when I tried to get to know her before, I felt like we were speaking different languages, and I just can't keep up. That and being reminded I'm a grandfather tends to leave me feeling old.
I wish I could make her happy.
Did I... mention I'm going to a Seal concert? ::Weak smile::
I got a belated father's day visit and now I feel... lost.
My... we'll say granddaughter, dropped in for a brief visit. To explain, I didn't *know* I had a granddaughter until roughly ten years ago. I found out while on a business trip. Yes, I have obviously been promiscuous in the past, and no, I haven't been for a very, very long time. After meeting her, she moved out to New York, not even as much to be with me, as to get away from her overbearing mother. She lived under my roof, because I am supposedly a trustworthy relative, and I saw to it that she was safe, and she made friends, and New York became home. When I retired, I left New York and moved down here to be with Bridgie.
We've never been close, I don't understand her all that well, we don't have a great deal in common. I do love her. She's my blood, and she's a sweet girl, and she deserves the best in life. I make a terrible father, and I'm not sure I've been much of a grandfather either. She gave me a #1 Grandpa shirt one year, an I was mortified. Everyone else thought it was funny.
She came to say happy father's day. Then she wound up telling me how she keeps switching majors and she hasn't gotten as far in college as fast as she hoped, and she's been having anxiety attacks, and she wants to take a break from her job and just generally feels like everything's falling apart. On the one hand, I feel as though I shouldn't be surprised, because she was home-schooled and generally over-protected by her mother up until I met her.
On the other hand, it sounds so much like what Bridgielove went through in college and I know that still bothers her. I wish Bridgie hadn't gone through it, for her sake, although it doesn't bother me and I'm happy we wound up together, and I happen to know she's brilliant. It's still not something anyone should have to go through. She said she was thinking of seeing a psychiatrist and trying to go on anti-anxiety medication. She... also said she was thinking of moving out of New York entirely, and moving somewhere close to me.
I told her I fully support whatever she feels is best.
All this in half an hour or less, because everything with that girl is like some kind of drive-by. I feel lost. I don't know how I feel about her living close by. I feel like I barely know her, and when I tried to get to know her before, I felt like we were speaking different languages, and I just can't keep up. That and being reminded I'm a grandfather tends to leave me feeling old.
I wish I could make her happy.
Did I... mention I'm going to a Seal concert? ::Weak smile::