(no subject)
Sorry for the disappearing act.
Work is hell - getting ready to turn the program over is harder than learning how to run it in the first place - mostly because I don't want to stick the new person with too much all at once and am trying to solve all of the problems I have been dealing with for the last 4 months in the next 4 days. I leave this job in exactly 2 weeks. And I don't have a new one found yet. Blarg.
Romantically speaking - to put it kindly "the shit hath hittith the fan-ith". Yeah, so Sunday night I stayed up at the house again. Billy took off for bed really early and forgot I was there so he locked me out. As a result I spent a lot of time talking to Hector and his new girlfriend. Ok, not so much the girlfriend. In fact, he abandoned her in his room to talk to me in the living room for nearly an hour. Apparently he only found out about Billy and I less than a week ago - although I thought he knew...which means he found out through a 3rd party *cough cough* Jesse *cough cough*. The Hector and me thing had been so damn confusing I wasn't even sure it was an issue. Well, as it turns out, he had thought we were dating - much like I had thought at the beginning but had ceased to think after a few weeks of total confusion and no real communication. Anyway - what it comes down to is this - Hector has decided to chalk it up to inexperience on my part (I have never been in this type of situation and honestly, the last few weeks "I am so confused" came out of my mouth a record number of times. Still, I am responsible for my own choices - sober or not), though he is thoroughly disappointed in Billy for cheating on his girlfriend...again, Hector still considers me his best friend and is asking a few favors i will get into in a moment, he thinks I should hang out at the house more - so much so that he said I shouldn't sign my new lease with Sarah and should move in with them at the end of the month, he thought that being part of his group was really good for me and that I am a really good person that he is glad to know. He was upset that I started crying when we started talking. I feel terrible for not telling him as soon as something happened between Billy and I - I even feel really bad for something happening at all - though truth be told I have enjoyed nearly every minute of me and Billy - I just didn't know how to tell him, or what our status was and what I should tell him. It's all been one crazy mess.
Oh, right, the favors. Apparently, as someone who works in the legal field with kids, I am the most reputable person Hecotr knows. As such, he would like me to go with him to court as a character reference to stop his daughter's name change. I have no problem doing this - though work is throwing up a few roadblocks to keep me from having that day off next week... Also, he would like to spend some quality time with his son in July but can't exactly take a 2 year old to his house, or his mother's (if he takes him to his mother's, his daughter will find out before he is ready for her to) so he is going to bring him down to my place for a weekend. Yeah - sufficith to say we are still extremely good friends - to the point where after said talk on Sunday night - I got to do the 6 am wake-up call for hima nd his new girl. It's wierd and I miss him, but it's prolly all for the better in the end that he and I just be friends.
Billy, on the other hand, is just a friend, and I'm fairly sure I'll never think of him more strongly than that. All the same, he is fuuuun to sleep with. Prior to the guys in the house, everyone I had ever been with had been a virgin. It's nice to be with someone who knows what the hell they are doing and takes charge. I never knew showers could be so much fun. Or wake-up calls. All I can say is yowza - and ouch. An hour and a half of sex with him is bound to lead to soreness for at least a day or two. Honestly, I feel a bit guilty about his girlfriend - but I'm not trying to take him away from her and when she and I are in the same place (it's happened twice now) I don't do anything to draw attention to any of it. She's a nice person who doesn't deserve to have Billy do this to her - but I'm pretty sure if it weren't me, it would be someone else. And I'm trying to see it as me keeping him busy and giving her a break? Rationalization at it's best folks.
So, yeah - that's my life in a nutshell. And people wonder why I look so frazzled lately...
Work is hell - getting ready to turn the program over is harder than learning how to run it in the first place - mostly because I don't want to stick the new person with too much all at once and am trying to solve all of the problems I have been dealing with for the last 4 months in the next 4 days. I leave this job in exactly 2 weeks. And I don't have a new one found yet. Blarg.
Romantically speaking - to put it kindly "the shit hath hittith the fan-ith". Yeah, so Sunday night I stayed up at the house again. Billy took off for bed really early and forgot I was there so he locked me out. As a result I spent a lot of time talking to Hector and his new girlfriend. Ok, not so much the girlfriend. In fact, he abandoned her in his room to talk to me in the living room for nearly an hour. Apparently he only found out about Billy and I less than a week ago - although I thought he knew...which means he found out through a 3rd party *cough cough* Jesse *cough cough*. The Hector and me thing had been so damn confusing I wasn't even sure it was an issue. Well, as it turns out, he had thought we were dating - much like I had thought at the beginning but had ceased to think after a few weeks of total confusion and no real communication. Anyway - what it comes down to is this - Hector has decided to chalk it up to inexperience on my part (I have never been in this type of situation and honestly, the last few weeks "I am so confused" came out of my mouth a record number of times. Still, I am responsible for my own choices - sober or not), though he is thoroughly disappointed in Billy for cheating on his girlfriend...again, Hector still considers me his best friend and is asking a few favors i will get into in a moment, he thinks I should hang out at the house more - so much so that he said I shouldn't sign my new lease with Sarah and should move in with them at the end of the month, he thought that being part of his group was really good for me and that I am a really good person that he is glad to know. He was upset that I started crying when we started talking. I feel terrible for not telling him as soon as something happened between Billy and I - I even feel really bad for something happening at all - though truth be told I have enjoyed nearly every minute of me and Billy - I just didn't know how to tell him, or what our status was and what I should tell him. It's all been one crazy mess.
Oh, right, the favors. Apparently, as someone who works in the legal field with kids, I am the most reputable person Hecotr knows. As such, he would like me to go with him to court as a character reference to stop his daughter's name change. I have no problem doing this - though work is throwing up a few roadblocks to keep me from having that day off next week... Also, he would like to spend some quality time with his son in July but can't exactly take a 2 year old to his house, or his mother's (if he takes him to his mother's, his daughter will find out before he is ready for her to) so he is going to bring him down to my place for a weekend. Yeah - sufficith to say we are still extremely good friends - to the point where after said talk on Sunday night - I got to do the 6 am wake-up call for hima nd his new girl. It's wierd and I miss him, but it's prolly all for the better in the end that he and I just be friends.
Billy, on the other hand, is just a friend, and I'm fairly sure I'll never think of him more strongly than that. All the same, he is fuuuun to sleep with. Prior to the guys in the house, everyone I had ever been with had been a virgin. It's nice to be with someone who knows what the hell they are doing and takes charge. I never knew showers could be so much fun. Or wake-up calls. All I can say is yowza - and ouch. An hour and a half of sex with him is bound to lead to soreness for at least a day or two. Honestly, I feel a bit guilty about his girlfriend - but I'm not trying to take him away from her and when she and I are in the same place (it's happened twice now) I don't do anything to draw attention to any of it. She's a nice person who doesn't deserve to have Billy do this to her - but I'm pretty sure if it weren't me, it would be someone else. And I'm trying to see it as me keeping him busy and giving her a break? Rationalization at it's best folks.
So, yeah - that's my life in a nutshell. And people wonder why I look so frazzled lately...