a moment of clarity.

[shadowsdepth]

what happens to me?
i get so lost. i can't concentrate and nothing feels important. i just want to feel something. but my brain won't let me.
there is nothing here.
and i can't even show it.
my brain makes me pretend i'm fine.
i believe it sometimes.
but i am constantly hollow.

and this realization hurts. it is my own fault that i am this way. and there is nothing i can do about it.

i just want inspiration. i want to feel passionate about something. anything.

i am lost.
i can't breathe. i am drowning on land. i can't keep my head above.

and then i even lose this. a calm comes. i am numb. nothing means anything.