section 1
the time has come. to own up to who you are. to who i am. this is who i am. section 1
i got it. i realized the root of my relationship problems [[yes, we're just going to start on this subject first]]
ive never gotten over my first boyfriend. and i really fucked myself over when i choose this one. if my first had been a sucky boyfriend then this wouldnt be a problem. every guy after the first would have seemed better and i could have kept going. but i had to choose a good one, the best yet. and therefore every guy that has come my way since i compare back to the first, and they never compete. they just dont. and up until this point i had always thought that since i had such a good one the first time, eventually id get a better one right? there was always something better rite? wrong. [[admitting defeat now]] there isnt always something better. what if the first guy i ever dated was one of the greatest guys in the world. what if he was the one in a million people look for, and i was so young that i wasnt ready for it. what if i ws to young to realize what i had and i just passed up my one in a million and am forever doomed to compromise [[lord have mercy i should have to deal like the rest of the world]] for the everyday nice guys that are left. its like anything else in the world, you never know what your missing out on until you have. the majority of the world hasnt had a one in a million guy [[the majority of the world hasnt been through a million guys, unless they're complete sluts]] so the majority of the world is completely happy where they are because theyve never had anything better. but ive had better. ive had the best. and because ive had the best, i cant go back. [[at least i havnt been able to go back..]]
but maybe its time now. its been almost 3 years sicne the first time we dated. thats a long time not to move on [[yes, i am that pathetic]] im pretty sure 2 years since we last dated, and the majority of those months we didnt speak a word to each other, yes im fairly sure its over, and its not going to happen again. im fairly sure im not going to get that back, with him or anyone else. im fairly sure i should find a way to force myself to forget about everything. to completely lock those memorys away so that i can go back to normal people and itll all seem ok. [[isnt there a movie about erasing memorys, can i apply for that?]]
the time has come. to own up to who you are. to who i am. this is who i am. section 1
"I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets"
i got it. i realized the root of my relationship problems [[yes, we're just going to start on this subject first]]
ive never gotten over my first boyfriend. and i really fucked myself over when i choose this one. if my first had been a sucky boyfriend then this wouldnt be a problem. every guy after the first would have seemed better and i could have kept going. but i had to choose a good one, the best yet. and therefore every guy that has come my way since i compare back to the first, and they never compete. they just dont. and up until this point i had always thought that since i had such a good one the first time, eventually id get a better one right? there was always something better rite? wrong. [[admitting defeat now]] there isnt always something better. what if the first guy i ever dated was one of the greatest guys in the world. what if he was the one in a million people look for, and i was so young that i wasnt ready for it. what if i ws to young to realize what i had and i just passed up my one in a million and am forever doomed to compromise [[lord have mercy i should have to deal like the rest of the world]] for the everyday nice guys that are left. its like anything else in the world, you never know what your missing out on until you have. the majority of the world hasnt had a one in a million guy [[the majority of the world hasnt been through a million guys, unless they're complete sluts]] so the majority of the world is completely happy where they are because theyve never had anything better. but ive had better. ive had the best. and because ive had the best, i cant go back. [[at least i havnt been able to go back..]]
but maybe its time now. its been almost 3 years sicne the first time we dated. thats a long time not to move on [[yes, i am that pathetic]] im pretty sure 2 years since we last dated, and the majority of those months we didnt speak a word to each other, yes im fairly sure its over, and its not going to happen again. im fairly sure im not going to get that back, with him or anyone else. im fairly sure i should find a way to force myself to forget about everything. to completely lock those memorys away so that i can go back to normal people and itll all seem ok. [[isnt there a movie about erasing memorys, can i apply for that?]]
the time has come. to own up to who you are. to who i am. this is who i am. section 1
"I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets"