this is something we're not gonna bring up anymore if we can avoid it...

[shadows_watchme]

im gonna say it here and now... and hopefully after i can forget.

i miss him. i miss him everyday. everytime i close my eyes. everytime i see my guitar. he's everyone here. he dosnt even live here! hes hundreds of miles away and yet i can feel him all around me. i cant help it sometimes. i have to stop and look at my picture. its my favorite one... ever. i just... im glad hes happy, assuming he is. no im sure hes happy, he has to be. and hopefully hes with someone who makes him as happy as he deserves... because he deserves alot. more than anyone could ever give him. i just... i was stupid. ive said it before and ill say it agian. i just wish.. idk what i wish. we're over. i know that. i mean i wish he would at least talk to me sometimes... but i understand where hes at... and i understand him. i think i always have and always will. hes just so much better than everyone else. i just... idk. i guess since he was the first, he'll always have that special place you know... idk.

maybe now illbe able to move on a bit more.. or at least push it aside...

idk what im gonna do when i get back down there... i just... i wanna see him...