LJ Idol week 2: Nightmare's end
"The struggle is real, my lads, too real." The first voice I heard as I came out from my trance was that of the Shadowsong-the trance I had been in when I'd talked of life's joys and pains-and the family making it worth it. I had been released from whatever hell I had been in by my own tenacity, my own character-one they thought I had lost after I had fled the house at Denver to go somewhere where I could rantand rave withoutbeing a danger to anyone-a danger I had almost proved to be in any case-and that I had had to come to terms with. The time I had spent unconscious to keep me from being more of one is one I don't wish to reflect on; simply because I don't like to recall it much. my anguished screams were proof enough that I was half-mad with whatever the fuck was going on then.
But he was still there, My Nashala-spirit kin, and...
I closed my eyes as I heard the next voice, that deep rumble that could only belong to the one I played puzzle games with-Chorschara...
"I...I should know." Was all he said. Then I could feel it-The Brown's fear-Cedar's apprehention.
"She won't..." Cedar bowed his head in a bit of shame: he felt he would be one of those staying alongside this one, but he found himself one of the hesitant ones; the Stormracer was the one to put a hand on his shoulder.
"Nay." His soft word brought me more to myself, "She done wore her damn self out, methinks-the more we be talkin though, the more she be aware of-Cedar my lad, she gunna be all right. She ain't gunna hurt ye-not now, not ever no more. She done all that out there like, ye ken me?" My Chosen. Always there as the Shadowsong was, always at my back. Between his voice and Chorschara's I was very nearly awake now. I could feel the tears of relief and joy threatening at the corners of my eyes. The two I had helped from their pasts-they were now helping in mine-bringing me out of the fugue-sleep I had been in for only the gods knew how long now.
"But...Faron, her daughter, she gunna be able to take care o'the house an' shit like? I be afraid she gunna have to go back there..."
"Faron do good." Chorschara grinned, "Rillin there, too. Be OK."
I stretched, being able to move for the first time in forever, then I heard a new voice-the voice of that one friend who had been there since nearly the beginning-even past the Brown's turn, and I'd known, at least vaguely, of the brown since I had been eight-physically-years of age. Or so he said. "I've been around since you were eight." he had told me once, and it had made a lot of things make sense. "Awake, she is," The odd accent voice of Garatt was closer than the rest of them, and made me smile.
"Yep, sure am." I said, startling most of them into silence. Most of these-the friends who stayed by me, even when they felt it was hopeless. Even when caution dictated they should run-and instincts screamed at them to get the fuck out of dodge. I was the one to smile then, and close my eyes again. I was safe. Safe with them and them alone, and I knew it-deep down somewhere inside I just...knew, and it made me want to weep again-this time in the relief of knowing that, even now, I hadn't lost my trust in them-any of them.
Oh certainly there are more-Blake the gunman who was Chorschara's constant companion most days-aranik, the princess of a world I would soon call my second home again-her small daughter Sharai, whom I would chase through the forests and gardens of the inns I would soon be re-introduced to, but these few-this circle-all of whom were not even mentioned-were those whom I heard first, and remembered most of, even in my dark time-the family that kept me from going completely, utterly insane from grief and the loss of everything I had ever known.
Entry 2 for therealljidol Enjoy. :)
But he was still there, My Nashala-spirit kin, and...
I closed my eyes as I heard the next voice, that deep rumble that could only belong to the one I played puzzle games with-Chorschara...
"I...I should know." Was all he said. Then I could feel it-The Brown's fear-Cedar's apprehention.
"She won't..." Cedar bowed his head in a bit of shame: he felt he would be one of those staying alongside this one, but he found himself one of the hesitant ones; the Stormracer was the one to put a hand on his shoulder.
"Nay." His soft word brought me more to myself, "She done wore her damn self out, methinks-the more we be talkin though, the more she be aware of-Cedar my lad, she gunna be all right. She ain't gunna hurt ye-not now, not ever no more. She done all that out there like, ye ken me?" My Chosen. Always there as the Shadowsong was, always at my back. Between his voice and Chorschara's I was very nearly awake now. I could feel the tears of relief and joy threatening at the corners of my eyes. The two I had helped from their pasts-they were now helping in mine-bringing me out of the fugue-sleep I had been in for only the gods knew how long now.
"But...Faron, her daughter, she gunna be able to take care o'the house an' shit like? I be afraid she gunna have to go back there..."
"Faron do good." Chorschara grinned, "Rillin there, too. Be OK."
I stretched, being able to move for the first time in forever, then I heard a new voice-the voice of that one friend who had been there since nearly the beginning-even past the Brown's turn, and I'd known, at least vaguely, of the brown since I had been eight-physically-years of age. Or so he said. "I've been around since you were eight." he had told me once, and it had made a lot of things make sense. "Awake, she is," The odd accent voice of Garatt was closer than the rest of them, and made me smile.
"Yep, sure am." I said, startling most of them into silence. Most of these-the friends who stayed by me, even when they felt it was hopeless. Even when caution dictated they should run-and instincts screamed at them to get the fuck out of dodge. I was the one to smile then, and close my eyes again. I was safe. Safe with them and them alone, and I knew it-deep down somewhere inside I just...knew, and it made me want to weep again-this time in the relief of knowing that, even now, I hadn't lost my trust in them-any of them.
Oh certainly there are more-Blake the gunman who was Chorschara's constant companion most days-aranik, the princess of a world I would soon call my second home again-her small daughter Sharai, whom I would chase through the forests and gardens of the inns I would soon be re-introduced to, but these few-this circle-all of whom were not even mentioned-were those whom I heard first, and remembered most of, even in my dark time-the family that kept me from going completely, utterly insane from grief and the loss of everything I had ever known.
Entry 2 for therealljidol Enjoy. :)