The Saga Continues...
Called PCP.
"Hi. I got my wisom teeth out on Thursday and--"
"You need to call your dentist."
"But, y'see, I'm calling because I'm nauseous and vomiting--"
"We don't deal with teeth at all."
"But I'm not actually calling about my teeth; my teeth are fine. It's the vomiting--"
"This needs to be handled by your dentist. Do you have his number?"
"Yes, but it's not--"
"Great, cause we don't handle teeth."
"ARRGH! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TEETH! I'm calling because I have spent the last three days puking!!! Will you listen to me?!?!!?"
"Yeah, you should definitely call your dentist."
"I WILL DEVOUR THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
"We really don't have anything to do with teeth. Have a good day." Click
*grumbling and vague death threats*
Called dentist.
"Hi, this is [Name]. I got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday, and I've been pretty ill since Friday. I mean, I threw up a little on Friday, was sick all through Saturday, nauseous for the rest of the Sunday and Monday, threw up again last night, threw up again this afternoon..."
"What's your name again?"
"[Name]. Look, I've been really sick--"
"Could you spell that?"
"[N-A-M-E]. I don't think throwing up this much is a good sign--"
"Hmm...not seeing you. When were you here?"
"Thursday."
"You sure? I'm not seeing you in our records."
"I'm sure. I was there on Thursday. You removed my wisdom teeth. I've been ill ever since."
"And you really think you were here on Thursday?"
"Really think?!? No, I know I was there on Thursday! Can we talk about the sicking up now?"
"I'm still not seeing you in the system. You sure you were here?"
"I WILL DEVOUR THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
"What time?"
"Err...how does Monday sound? I could probably fit soul-devouring in on Monday. Noon-ish?"
"No, no. What time was your appointment. On Thursday."
"Oh, right. 3:15?"
"Okay, there you are. So what's the problem? Your teeth still hurt?"
*headdesk* "No. My teeth are fine. My stomach, however, is not. I have been vomiting since Friday. In fact, that's all I did on Saturday. I'm starting to think that puking is my newest hobby. I've been giving the bulemic up the street pointers. I've been approached by the Olympic Team; they think that we've really got a chance this year if I can keep this up. It's affecting my social life, my sleeping habits--the scale says I've lost a good seven pounds!"
"What do you think is causing it?"
"The malignant gnomes that live in my digestive tract."
"Hmmm...I don't have any literature on malignant gnomes. Perhaps I could give you a referral..." *rifling noises* "I've got a Doctor McMurphy who specializes in gnome removal, I can give you his number."
*headdesk* "Oh wait, I've just been approached by the head of the Gnomish Union. They're currently striking, and are refusing to take responsibility. I guess I'll just have to blame my meds or something. Is it possible to have a rational discussion with you about possible medication side effects?"
"Well, what are you taking?"
"You guys proscribed penicillin and vicodin, I'm alos on birth control, asacol, and buproprion, though I haven't even looked at the last since Saturday morning."
"When was the last time you took Vicodin?"
"Mid-yesterday afternoon."
"And threw up?"
"About half an hour ago."
"Have you eaten today?"
"Yes. Applesauce and mashed potatoes."
"Nothing solid?"
"Nope."
"Last time you took any medication?"
"About three hours ago."
"It was?"
"Penicillin. Just the penicillin."
"Sounds like that's what's affecting you. It's a fairly common side effect."
"But I'm not allergic to penicillin."
"Nope, but you're taking an awful lot of it. It's a fairly common side effect. How much are you on?"
"500mg pills, four times a day."
"Yeah, your body is probably reacting to that. It's a fairly common side effect."
"So I hear. I've got two more pills today and four more for tomorrow. Can I stop taking them? I'd really like to stop with the throwing up."
"When's your follow-up. Tomorrow?"
"Friday."
"Let me ask the doctor if you can stop taking the pills."
"Okay...Please let him know that I'm really, really not feeling well and would be happy to let my body fight off infections if the only alternative is constant vomiting. And I hear that's a fairly common side effect."
"He's busy right now. We'll call you back." Click
So, yeah, I hate the world.
EDIT: Dentist called back. Suggested I stop both the Vicodin and the penicillin immediately, and if I don't see a kajillion percent improvement by Friday, raise holy hell at my PCP's office. I'm tempted to do so anyway, but that's just cause I'm spiteful. And malicious. And spitefully malicious. I'm like Lucky Charms, but with 100% more pain.
I still feel like death warmed over, but this will hopefully fade as the medication does. Anytime now.
"Hi. I got my wisom teeth out on Thursday and--"
"You need to call your dentist."
"But, y'see, I'm calling because I'm nauseous and vomiting--"
"We don't deal with teeth at all."
"But I'm not actually calling about my teeth; my teeth are fine. It's the vomiting--"
"This needs to be handled by your dentist. Do you have his number?"
"Yes, but it's not--"
"Great, cause we don't handle teeth."
"ARRGH! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TEETH! I'm calling because I have spent the last three days puking!!! Will you listen to me?!?!!?"
"Yeah, you should definitely call your dentist."
"I WILL DEVOUR THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
"We really don't have anything to do with teeth. Have a good day." Click
*grumbling and vague death threats*
Called dentist.
"Hi, this is [Name]. I got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday, and I've been pretty ill since Friday. I mean, I threw up a little on Friday, was sick all through Saturday, nauseous for the rest of the Sunday and Monday, threw up again last night, threw up again this afternoon..."
"What's your name again?"
"[Name]. Look, I've been really sick--"
"Could you spell that?"
"[N-A-M-E]. I don't think throwing up this much is a good sign--"
"Hmm...not seeing you. When were you here?"
"Thursday."
"You sure? I'm not seeing you in our records."
"I'm sure. I was there on Thursday. You removed my wisdom teeth. I've been ill ever since."
"And you really think you were here on Thursday?"
"Really think?!? No, I know I was there on Thursday! Can we talk about the sicking up now?"
"I'm still not seeing you in the system. You sure you were here?"
"I WILL DEVOUR THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!"
"What time?"
"Err...how does Monday sound? I could probably fit soul-devouring in on Monday. Noon-ish?"
"No, no. What time was your appointment. On Thursday."
"Oh, right. 3:15?"
"Okay, there you are. So what's the problem? Your teeth still hurt?"
*headdesk* "No. My teeth are fine. My stomach, however, is not. I have been vomiting since Friday. In fact, that's all I did on Saturday. I'm starting to think that puking is my newest hobby. I've been giving the bulemic up the street pointers. I've been approached by the Olympic Team; they think that we've really got a chance this year if I can keep this up. It's affecting my social life, my sleeping habits--the scale says I've lost a good seven pounds!"
"What do you think is causing it?"
"The malignant gnomes that live in my digestive tract."
"Hmmm...I don't have any literature on malignant gnomes. Perhaps I could give you a referral..." *rifling noises* "I've got a Doctor McMurphy who specializes in gnome removal, I can give you his number."
*headdesk* "Oh wait, I've just been approached by the head of the Gnomish Union. They're currently striking, and are refusing to take responsibility. I guess I'll just have to blame my meds or something. Is it possible to have a rational discussion with you about possible medication side effects?"
"Well, what are you taking?"
"You guys proscribed penicillin and vicodin, I'm alos on birth control, asacol, and buproprion, though I haven't even looked at the last since Saturday morning."
"When was the last time you took Vicodin?"
"Mid-yesterday afternoon."
"And threw up?"
"About half an hour ago."
"Have you eaten today?"
"Yes. Applesauce and mashed potatoes."
"Nothing solid?"
"Nope."
"Last time you took any medication?"
"About three hours ago."
"It was?"
"Penicillin. Just the penicillin."
"Sounds like that's what's affecting you. It's a fairly common side effect."
"But I'm not allergic to penicillin."
"Nope, but you're taking an awful lot of it. It's a fairly common side effect. How much are you on?"
"500mg pills, four times a day."
"Yeah, your body is probably reacting to that. It's a fairly common side effect."
"So I hear. I've got two more pills today and four more for tomorrow. Can I stop taking them? I'd really like to stop with the throwing up."
"When's your follow-up. Tomorrow?"
"Friday."
"Let me ask the doctor if you can stop taking the pills."
"Okay...Please let him know that I'm really, really not feeling well and would be happy to let my body fight off infections if the only alternative is constant vomiting. And I hear that's a fairly common side effect."
"He's busy right now. We'll call you back." Click
So, yeah, I hate the world.
EDIT: Dentist called back. Suggested I stop both the Vicodin and the penicillin immediately, and if I don't see a kajillion percent improvement by Friday, raise holy hell at my PCP's office. I'm tempted to do so anyway, but that's just cause I'm spiteful. And malicious. And spitefully malicious. I'm like Lucky Charms, but with 100% more pain.
I still feel like death warmed over, but this will hopefully fade as the medication does. Anytime now.