Poly, permanence and the universe as it rolls around

[shadowpryde]

It's interesting. Earlier today I was filling out a survey for a fanfic study that I'll be involved in. Amongst the other details requested was that of defining the sort of relationship I'm in through the course of several questions. I came to the question that was 'are you in a polyamorous relationship and please clarify in the form of MMF, MFF

Comments

[pirate_fae]

There is definately a history of impermanence associated with Poly relationships. I believe that is because they are *hard*. The more people one adds into a relationship, the more complex things become. I also think that, just as in dual-partner relationships, many folks aren't willing to do the work to make a relationship happen and with more than one parner that makes the breaking point come along sooner.

That being said, I am in a permanent quad that is currently closed to secondary relationships. It took us 14 *years* to get where we are. I don't think of my co-spouses in terms of primary and secondary. They simply are. We choose not to blend our households at this time, because the dynamic would be difficult at best ;-) with two incredibly headstrong women in the same household but we intend to move next door to eachother and share meals and other domesticy things.

I don't do sex without love, so swinging isn't an option for me. I have been a secondary partner in a triad where the other woman involved undermined my relationship with her husband until it imploded, even though we were a triad not a V. I have had a long-term secondary parner betray my trust (and others) to the point where it not only destroyed his relationship with me, but with his legal wife and many of our friends. Through all that, I still can say that I believe in permanence. I know that it's not *always* what we achieve; but I am an idealist and must believe that it is possible. I truly belive that I've found that with my spouses. Thank the Goddess!!!