Punk/Ska Etiquette
I've been to quite a few concerts this summer, and I've enjoyed most of them thoroughly. From the hail storm of Mumford and Sons to the face-melting epicness of Animals as Leaders, the dance-industrial goodness of Celldweller to the roadtrip marathon with my sister, and of course the mind-blowingly awesome Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, it's been a good summer for music. I was looking forward to tonight's show of Streetlight Manifesto and Reel Big Fish. I didn't know either band's catalogue very well, but it's hard to wrong with the high energy of ska.
However.
My enjoyment slowly declined throughout the evening as idiot concertgoers around me proved that they didn't understand proper punk concert etiquette. Allow me to enlighten you/them/whomever:
1) While it's fine to use the movement of the crowd to take you places, don't push and shove your way to the front. The people who are up there worked hard. I started somewhere in the middle and the natural flow of the crowd took me rather close to the front with minimal effort on my part. But when you make it a mission to get the front at the expense of everyone around you, you're just a jackass. Here's my basic rule of thumb: shoulder and upper arm movement is cool, but elbow to lower arm to hand is not.
2) You have minimal space to occupy. No one likes being mashed against other people to the point of near-suffocation, but that is not an excuse to start thrashing like a maniac so that you can enjoy your personal bubble of space. Nor is it cool to jut your ass into my crotch and knock 4 rows of people back because you feel violated. You're violating me, bastard. No one might feel like treading in for fear of getting whacked by your stray limbs, but we all want to punch you in the face/gut/kidney. A corollary: jumping up and down, skanking, and general rocking the fuck out is pretty much okay. But don't cross the line.
3) If you choose to crowd-surf, congratulations--you're taking part in a time-honored rock tradition of being manhandled precariously 6-7 feet in the air while pissing off all the grunts below you who have to handle you and move you forward. So for chrissake, do it right.
3a) Don't thrash. In fact, move as little as possible. The more you move, the harder it is to hold you up and the more likely you will be dropped--not because we want to (though you're certainly encouraging us), but because physics is not on your side. In fact, you should distribute your weight evenly and try to flatten yourself out horizontally. Don't try to look cool or be awesome or whatever the hell it is that you think you're doing. Because we will drop you.
3b) Please wear clothes. It's not much fun to touch your sweaty skin, and it's also harder to keep you up in the air because you keep slipping.
3c) Watch your feet. No one likes getting kicked in the head. Especially not when they get kicked about once every 2 minutes. Again, I may punch you.
4) If you are not currently crowd-surfing and are anywhere from the middle to the front, watch for the poor suckers who are being passed up. Yes, they're irritating and probably doing it wrong, but you've got a duty to yourself and everyone around you to not screw this up. We all work together or we all get dominoed and kicked in the face. Blood can be fun at shows [if you're into that sort of thing], but split heads are not.
4a) Seriously, just watch. The people up front have terrible poker faces, so it'll be obvious when someone is coming. You'll also feel lots or rustling around you.
4b) Don't duck or try to get out of the way you pussy. How would you like us to drop a thrasher on you? Because that might happen unless you're contributing.
4c) Support what you can, but honestly, a leg or an arm doesn't usually cut it. Go for the larger, more massed parts of the body.
4d) Move them forward, but don't throw them. Be gentle. Ish.
5) Take a shower and wear deodorant.
I could also ask you to sing on key and to not shot over the singer (among other things), but that would be an absurd request that would only satisfy me. The above 5 items seem more universal.
Rant courtesy of pissed off Andrew. Now I'm going to take a shower to wash the sweat of dozens of people off of me before MY GIRLFRIEND MOVES TO MARYLAND TOMORROW!
However.
My enjoyment slowly declined throughout the evening as idiot concertgoers around me proved that they didn't understand proper punk concert etiquette. Allow me to enlighten you/them/whomever:
1) While it's fine to use the movement of the crowd to take you places, don't push and shove your way to the front. The people who are up there worked hard. I started somewhere in the middle and the natural flow of the crowd took me rather close to the front with minimal effort on my part. But when you make it a mission to get the front at the expense of everyone around you, you're just a jackass. Here's my basic rule of thumb: shoulder and upper arm movement is cool, but elbow to lower arm to hand is not.
2) You have minimal space to occupy. No one likes being mashed against other people to the point of near-suffocation, but that is not an excuse to start thrashing like a maniac so that you can enjoy your personal bubble of space. Nor is it cool to jut your ass into my crotch and knock 4 rows of people back because you feel violated. You're violating me, bastard. No one might feel like treading in for fear of getting whacked by your stray limbs, but we all want to punch you in the face/gut/kidney. A corollary: jumping up and down, skanking, and general rocking the fuck out is pretty much okay. But don't cross the line.
3) If you choose to crowd-surf, congratulations--you're taking part in a time-honored rock tradition of being manhandled precariously 6-7 feet in the air while pissing off all the grunts below you who have to handle you and move you forward. So for chrissake, do it right.
3a) Don't thrash. In fact, move as little as possible. The more you move, the harder it is to hold you up and the more likely you will be dropped--not because we want to (though you're certainly encouraging us), but because physics is not on your side. In fact, you should distribute your weight evenly and try to flatten yourself out horizontally. Don't try to look cool or be awesome or whatever the hell it is that you think you're doing. Because we will drop you.
3b) Please wear clothes. It's not much fun to touch your sweaty skin, and it's also harder to keep you up in the air because you keep slipping.
3c) Watch your feet. No one likes getting kicked in the head. Especially not when they get kicked about once every 2 minutes. Again, I may punch you.
4) If you are not currently crowd-surfing and are anywhere from the middle to the front, watch for the poor suckers who are being passed up. Yes, they're irritating and probably doing it wrong, but you've got a duty to yourself and everyone around you to not screw this up. We all work together or we all get dominoed and kicked in the face. Blood can be fun at shows [if you're into that sort of thing], but split heads are not.
4a) Seriously, just watch. The people up front have terrible poker faces, so it'll be obvious when someone is coming. You'll also feel lots or rustling around you.
4b) Don't duck or try to get out of the way you pussy. How would you like us to drop a thrasher on you? Because that might happen unless you're contributing.
4c) Support what you can, but honestly, a leg or an arm doesn't usually cut it. Go for the larger, more massed parts of the body.
4d) Move them forward, but don't throw them. Be gentle. Ish.
5) Take a shower and wear deodorant.
I could also ask you to sing on key and to not shot over the singer (among other things), but that would be an absurd request that would only satisfy me. The above 5 items seem more universal.
Rant courtesy of pissed off Andrew. Now I'm going to take a shower to wash the sweat of dozens of people off of me before MY GIRLFRIEND MOVES TO MARYLAND TOMORROW!